Jealousy and Envy

 

 

As hard as it might be to believe, jealousy and envy are normal, to some extent. I am sure that you had that feeling when someone told you their success story, or achievement, or that great news they had for themselves, and you had that moment of "why not me?" "I want that too!" ... and some might even go further to "they didn't even worked that much for it". 

What if I told you that these feelings are normal? You're surprised? I guess you are. Why you're surprised? Because every one taught you that you are supposed to be happy for the other person, and that you are a bitter, mean person if you're not. I think that' a bit harsh, and I will explain why.

You have been struggling for years, working for something so hard that you barely have time for yourself. you lost nights, you gave up things you loved, because you wanted to achieve something. But you haven't by now, and a friend comes and say something like "I had a project that brought me $100 000", or "I managed to buy a house", "I made my own business and earned X amount in my first month", and you have that second where you think "why not me?" 

You get over it, cause they start telling you how much they worked for it, how hard it was, how many sleepless nights they had, and how they almost lost everything for it: marriage, money, friends. And you understand they struggled too, and you start being happy for them. Really happy. Even if you still have that thought in the back of the head of "I want to succeed as well". 

There are two things you are also feeling now. One is burnout and feeling down, and one is a feeling of hope. You feel that if they could do it, if that person that you know so well made it, you know there is hope for you too. You also worked hard, you put in the same effort, you deserve it too. So you feel pumped to keep on moving. And if you don't, it's because the other feeling is taking over you, and you have to kick that feeling so far that it doesn't reach you anymore. Cause if it was possible for them, it's possible for you too.

I've heard over and over that being genuinely happy for someone else's success, calls success to you as well. A bunch of baloney right? Well, not quite. But this is something that you have to teach your mind. Of course it's normal to have those first feelings of "why not me?", but after you spot them, bring in mind that they struggled hard too, and you would love for your friend to be happy for you too. And use that thing that you're feeling to turn it into "it's possible for me too". Don't give up. 

The Universe loves the stubborn ones - I read that somewhere. So be stubborn, and keep going at it. You'll make it. You will get there. You will be one of the ones who tells their success stories. You can. You definitely can. Keep going. And when you feel like you can't anymore, take a short break, and then try again. You can do it!

Photo credit: LoggaWiggler from Pixabay

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Love Shouldn't Be That Hard

 

 Someone told me this. That you fight for a relationship, or you fight in a relationship, and you struggle so much to make it work, and at some point you break up, and after a while you find someone that you click with so well, and everything flows so easy and naturally, and you realize, this is how things are suppose to be. It shouldn't be a continuous struggle. 

It won't be perfect, you'd still have moments when you will fight, or disagree, or just have different ideas on how to approach something, but that's normal. that's a normal relationship. But you will feel like it is right. You will feel at home next to that person. And everything you do together will grow so beautifully, because you support, and love and understand each other, and you realize that love shouldn't be that hard. 

Love is not a war. It's not about who's right and who's wrong. It's not about who's winning. There should be no such thing in love. And if it is, than I don't think that's love. Unless this is how you truly are, and this is what makes you you, and having this back and forth all the time is how you show your passion for one another, and how you fell love, than that is your kind of love. But love is usually a nice feeling of peace, and passion, and home, all at once. 

Have you ever experienced that? That kind of love where being next to your someone brings you peace? Where you still look at them with the same desire years after you met? Did you ever feel that? How was it?

Photo credit: Pixabay

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How to Have a GREAT Relationship

There are so many ways that love can be expressed. It is in the way someone touches your hand, in the way they look at you, how they protect you from something, or they ask how your days was, if you ate, why you're sad? Love is in the intimate moments you have together, and in the holding of the hand. Love is in the argument you leave because you are too angry to carry one and you know that staying will make you say something you might regret later. 

Love comes in so many ways. And all these are love. But you can't have a relationship without some of them. A relationship without communication is quiet. One without the touching and the intimacy is sad. A relationship where you can't speak your mind makes you feel not understood, or like a prisoner. 

You need all these to make a good relationship. And you see I say "good", because perfect relationships don't exist. And by perfect I mean that fantasy relationship that you think everyone else is having but you, where they don't fight, they always communicate well, they support each other through everything, they have amazing intimate moments, they always want the same things, they are always on the same wavelength, they are just two people who always smile and have fun when they are together. That doesn't exist. 

I'm not being mean or trying to ruin the idea of a great relationship, I'm just saying the truth. 

You will have an argument once in a while, you will feel misunderstood sometimes, you will feel sad, or miss the other person's touch sometimes. But as long as it is just sometimes and not all the time, than that is a normal beautiful relationship. As long as you take time and reflect on what the other person said and you come back and either sustain your point of view with arguments, or admit the other person is right, then you have a good relationship, and you should enjoy it. 

Remember that there are more sides to a relationship, and people need different things to feel that they are loved. Some need to communicate, other need to feel the other person's touch, others are responsive to an intimate life, others need compliments ... we are all different, and we all respond to different things, but as long as we try to listen to what the other person needs, and give it to them, and they will give the same back, we can have a beautiful, loving relationship. 

Watch your partner, they will tell you how they are without you even asking. If they need touch, they will constantly look for ways to touch you. When you speak, when you walk, when they sit next to you at a party, they will try to put one hand on you and touch you. That means this is what they need to feel love from you. It is as simple as that. If you do the same back, that will translate to them as Love. 

So simple right? Yes. It is. Because love isn't that complicated. It's just feelings and reciprocity. We're making it harder and complicated. If you love them, show them. If you don't, find someone that you do, and show them. It will come naturally.

Photo credit: Pixabay

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