Worse Things Than Death

The worse thing I could ever imagine going through as I grew up, and even as an adult, was losing someone I loved, by them dying. That was the absolute worse. And I did had people that I loved, family members or friends that passed away, and it was so hard to get over it. Some deaths were worse than others, if you take into consideration how close you were to that person, what it represented for you, how much you loved them, how they died, if you got to say goodbye or not, how you left things before their passing. All these add to your brain and make you get over the even harder, or somewhat easier. 

Then I heard someone saying that there are worse things than death. And I thought "well, that's stupid". How could something be worse than that? You lost that person forever. You will never see them again. If you had a fight, you will never get to make things right again. You can't say you're sorry anymore. And I was finding more and more questions like these. 

Then I got my answers. What if they have a really bad disease and they suffer a lot? They are in daily pain that no pill can fix. What if they have health problems, mental problems, that makes it impossible for them to live? 

We usually want people to stay here because it's hard for us to let go. Cause the person who's passing isn't feeling it anymore. They are on the other side. They might still be able to see us, stay with us, and maybe suffer too because we are suffering, but usually we want them here for us, cause it helps us having them here.

 But if every day or every breath is a struggle, than I think that just might be worse than dying. Do you agree?

 

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How To Leave The Past In The Past

 

The day I learned this, is the day I got free.  

I was always the person who used to torment herself after something was happening that I could not control, that I maybe wished I did differently. I was losing sleep, having only that in my mind, thinking of what I should have said, what I should have done, going through all kind of scenarios in my mind. 

All that was doing was to make me so much angry and frustrated, because I obviously couldn't change anything. It was done. I couldn't go back. And, sometimes, the more you try to go back to that situation, to the people involved, and explain it, you only end up making it worst.  Plus that, sometimes, there just are things that you can't change. You can't change an accident that you had because of a decision you made. You can't catch the train you missed by a second, you have to wait for another one. There are situations where you just can't go back and undo it, cause that doesn't apply to it.

I did my share of bad decisions, of mistakes. I had my share of sleepless nights, of torment, and struggles to accept where those decisions got me. And I kept seeing posts on social media say "you can't change the past", and "you can't control the future". I understood it. But I was having trouble accepting it. 

One day, a mistake from my past came to mind, and it was working my mind so hard. I felt how I was getting low because of it. I juts got fed up. Having the same thought over and over again. I got so mad inside, and I told myself (as crazy as that might sound) on a mad tone: "Stop it. Stop doing this. Can you change this?! - No! - Can you do anything about it?! - No! - Then, if you can't go back in time and change it, if you can't do anything to change it, then just stop thinking of it."

If there is something you can change, than go and try changing it. But if there isn't anything you can do, then just leave it in the past. Leave it as it is. Most of the times our past "mistakes" don't even affect us in the present. It only consumes our mind, thinking of it. Don't let it destroy your present too. Learn from it. Don't do it again. But move on now. That is all that you can do. 

Just think about it for a minute. Honestly. If there is nothing that you can do, just learn from it, and move on. Don't let it control your mind anymore, and ruin your present. 

I'm still telling myself this every time. And when I do get it, and I release it ... how sweet the feeling is :) I feel so free. Because you realize that all the work your mind is doing, isn't able to turn back time and change the past. So, just you move on.

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It's YOUR Choice - You Know?!

 

I was always hearing motivational speakers saying this and I was thinking that it can't be true. It's not always your choice. There are situations where you have to do certain things, agree to certain things, because you don't have a choice.

But the more I think about it, the more I am starting to think they are actually right. I was thinking, yeah, maybe it is your choice if to watch the news or not. Things are happening in the world regardless of if you know about them or not. It is your choice if to eat that last piece when you're already full. If to lay in bed all day when you need to recharge, or get up and do things even if you feel drained. This is a choice. 

You might say, well, if you have a job and you need to do those things, it's not really a choice. Actually, it kind of is. Cause you are choosing not to call in sick and get a day off for yourself to regroup and come back better, sharper, faster. 

So, what if you have a job that you hate. You have to go to it, cause you need the money, right? You can't quit. But, in fact, you can quit. Nobody is stopping you from doing this but you. And the reason why you are stopping yourself from doing this is the fear that what if you don't find another job? What if you do and it's worst? What if you're working more instead of less? So, the thing that is making you make the decision to stay at that job is fear. But it is still a decision you are making. Based on the fear of the unknown. But what if another job might turn out to be the best thing ever for you? The best place you've ever worked with, with the best co-workers and the best bosses. Fantasy? Who says that? What if it turns out better than you thought it will?

I want to tone my body. Yet I am still eating junk food saying this is the last one. What is making me put that food in my mouth? My choice. I choose to do it, knowing that I shouldn't, and feeling guilty afterwards. I say that I will exercise more for what I am eating, to balance it, but after I eat it I get upset that I gave in, I go through all kind of punishment thoughts in my mind, and I end up not doing the exercises, because I am wasting all that energy focusing on the wrong choice I made. And this is also a choice. I am choosing to use my time and energy thinking back on that, instead of saying "I did it, I ate it, now I am working out for 15 minutes without a break". Cause after those 15 minutes, I guarantee you I wouldn't feel that bad anymore that I chose to eat the junk food. I would feel empowered that I said I will work out and I did it. I set my mind to something and I followed. 

But, as you see, it is our choice. It always is. So, what is your next choice?

 

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