Alone on Christmas

Noticing the lonely people around me

You never notice how many people are alone on Christmas. You never look at the lonely woman dining alone, at the guy sitting on a bench scrolling through his phone, at the couple who stays one next to each other without saying a word ... You never seem to notice them, because you are too busy living your life, and going through your own drama. But they are real, and they are there, and maybe you could throw them a smile once in a while, if you have a smile to spear.

Going through separation from my husband, going through divorce, made me see these people, because now I am one of those people. I am the girl walking through the stores alone, spending so many hours at the mall, daily, just because the thought of staying locked inside the house is killing me.

I don't have a "real job", how some would call it, a 9 to 5 job, so now that the holidays are here I have so much spear time on my hands that I have no idea how to handle it. So, I go to the mall. Go into stores, try on clothing, and I let time pass. I leave right before it starts to become difficult to get home by bus or tram, before the last ones go to the depot.


Hating the ones having fun

I have neighbors listening to Christmas music, having fun the way they feel it. It gets me angry, so I put my clothes on and I go outside ... always ending up at the mall. I see couples kissing, holding hands, hugging, laughing, playing together ... and they make me angry, and jealous, because they are happy and in love while I am going through divorce at 35.

People laugh around me and they are having fun. They talk laud on the phone, making jokes and looking so happy ... and that makes me so nervous, and upset, and I feel like telling them "stop laughing! what's so freaking funny?"

And then I try to calm myself down, because I realize the thoughts in my head, and I realize what I am feeling and it makes me sad, because this is not me. This was never me. A while ago I was them. I was happy, and laughing, and having someone to hold me, and kiss me, and love me ... I was them ... and probably I was making someone going through the same emotions that I am going through now. Someone who was alone, or lonely, someone who went through a breakup, or who suffered a lost, or has no friends to talk to, and to whom my happiness and "normalness" was annoying. I am sure I seemed to them happier than I probably was in reality.


Accepting the ones who are happy

And I realize that they are happy, and they are celebrating Christmas, and they have the right to be happy and to celebrate Christmas, or Hanukkah, or whatever else they might want to celebrate. Just because my life is a mess and I am going to hell and back shouldn't make the world stop and wait for me to be happy again. So, now I look at them smiling. It's a smile of "I'm sorry ... be happy, you have the right to be happy, and I wish you are happy, and you have a happy, merry Christmas, or Hanukkah, or what ever celebration you want and celebrate" ... and I really mean it. I honestly mean it from the bottom of my heart. And my whole vibration changes. And things start falling into place around me. And I become more peaceful.


Find a good friend

Going through holidays when you are alone, single, unhappy, having problems, after you lost someone, after losing your job, when you don't have money ... or any other problem you might be going through ... it sucks. And I am sorry, but I have no better word to describe this, but the fact that it actually, truly, deeply sucks.

You can't go through this alone. Yes, go to the mall. Yes, stay in places where there are people, and they will engage you to follow their rhythm and flow. Yes, go to a movie and it will help you forget about your situation for a while. But, you can't go through this alone, with no hep at all.

So, find a friend. It can be a relative, or it can actually be a friend. Find the person who will listen to you and your problems without judging, without getting bored, without trying to cut you off with "you'll be fine, you'll get over it in no time". You need someone who will validate your emotions. They are real. They exist. They are happening to you right now.

Find that friend who will stay with you on the phone without saying anything at all. Just both of you minding your own business, while you are on the phone, not saying anything at all, or just talking from time to time. That person's support will help you go through this. Just the fact that there is someone at the other end listening to what you have to say, or who's willing to sit with you in silence, THAT WILL HELP YOU GO THROUGH WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.


Eat healthy - stay healthy

Or at least try. Bad, processed, fast food and sugary sweets will make you feel your negative emotions even more intense. I can't tell you what's the process and why that happens, but trust me, it does.

You don't have to turn into a caw and chew on salads all day long, but make sure one of your meals per day is healthy. And I mean really healthy, not a salad with heavy sauces. Eat some fruits, they will do you good. Especially if you're closing your day with them.

And move. Don't sit on your cute little behind all day and all night. Get up. Get out. Walk. Dance. Do whatever you like, but just move.


Choose what makes you happy

I know that nothing makes you happy now. Or so you think. But, yet, try to do the things that you feel you will like. Go see a movie, go eat out, buy a piece of cake and eat it there, at the cake shop. Read a book. Go skating. Do whatever you like, and you feel that you can do with little effort from your part, and it will make you feel good.

If something doesn't feel ok to you, then don't do it. No matter what that something is. Even if we are talking about visiting your close relatives, cooking your favorite meal that maybe you once loved doing, but you are in no mood to do it now ... whatever it is that you feel like it might cause you discomfort, don't do it. Choose something else. Choose something that when you think about doing, it brings you peace, and makes you feel relieved.


Everything will pass

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but believe me, everything will pass. You will find happiness again. You will get another job, fall in love again, start a new family, make new money, find new solutions, feel less sad ... they will all work out. No matter what it is, in the end you will be fine. Things have a way of solving themselves. With the help of God, of course. Or what ever force you believe in. Even the ones who don't believe in anything believe in themselves, in their ability to create something themselves. So, believe you can create your own happiness, your new reality, your better life.

You are not alone. I know it seems like you are, like this never ends, like you are the only one going through something, but you're not. There are so many people struggling every day to just make it through the day. There are so many other people who feel as alone as you do. Reach out to them. Look for Facebook support groups, call those numbers where trained people are there to talk to you and offer you some guidance. Just reach to someone, because I tell you, you are not alone in this. You are not the only one feeling like this.

You will be ok. You really will 🙏💗



Photo credit: me


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

Donations : PayPal 

 

 

Do You Still Believe In Love?

Even if I am going through separation after a 15 year long relationship, I still believe that there is someone for every one. And if this ended, maybe it is because we had different people waiting for each other, and we had other people that we were waiting for.

I was never the one to put that much accent on marriage. I used to drive my mother nuts telling her that I won't get married. Well, as you know, life changes, and I did get married. And now I am getting divorced. But that's life. Some make it for life, and others ... well, for others it takes a while to find that "for life" part.

I wouldn't mind being married again. Being someone wife, having his name. Knowing that he is my husband, and all that. But I don't really like the wedding day. I know. I'm not the typical girl. I wasn't that nuts about the wedding day the first time either.

I think the wedding day should be about the two of you. About your love for each other, and how that day is about you wanting to be together, live together, and face goods and bads together. Not about how many guests you have, and what traditions to follow, and how to entertain every body. They should be there for you, and not the other way around. They should celebrate you, and try to make your day special for you. Because the two of you should be the center of attention, not the guests.

But I've always had a different view on things and the world. So I know that each dreams in their own way.

If I get married again, I want it to be about us. About me and the wonderful man standing next to me. I want us to be happy with whatever decision we make. If we both decide we want to get married on the beach, I want next to us people who would encourage us to have the happiest day of our lives. Who will support our decision and be happy for us, and with us.

Love isn't just about that love feeling. It is also about finding that someone who understands you. Who it is like you, or who likes how you are, even if they are different, and they don't try to change you. Love is about having that "I can tell you anything" feeling. Or, "I can't wait to get home to you". It is about supporting one another, encouraging one another, and helping one another.

This is how I see love. And I am sure that this exists.



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal

 

 

How Life Changes

It's been so long since I haven't written anything here. My life changed so much. I finally had the courage to leave the marriage I was in. It was hard as hell, and there are moments when I still struggle, but I also know that this is what had to be done.

It is not easy. Who ever tells you that breaking up and divorcing is easy, they are either lying, or they were never truly committed. Everything hurts. From the breakup itself, to living the place you used to call home for so much time, 13 years in my case ... a full grown child, if you want to think of it this way. To having no job, just a few money that you managed to make here and there, and a dream that you don't want to give up again to.

You are moving back to your parents house in your 30's, and it is just as bad as you imagined it would be. Not because they would not be supportive in any way, because they are, they truly are, but you feel like you've stepped back instead of going forward.

It is still hard to talk about all these things. I have been thinking about writing them for a while now, and I couldn't, because the feeling is overwhelming. The only thing making me write this is thinking that maybe it will help someone. Maybe someone went through the same thing and seeing that they are not alone will help them, in a way.

You get used to a lot of things, and all of a sudden you don't have them anymore. And that also hurts. And you need to adjust yourself to the new reality and the new environment.

You're up, and you're down, and now you have it all together, just to crumble in the next second, and get back up again after. Separation after a long period of time, a long relationship, in which you lived together and made plans for the future together, and never thought it would end, hurts like hell. I don't know how else to describe it. Again, even if you know you've made the best choice, it still hurts, it is still hard, and you still have moments when you question yourself.


Every time I had doubts, I asked myself:

- Does the problem still exist?

     - Yes.

- Do you think it can be solved?

     - No.

- Can you live with that problem?

     - No.

Then this continues to be the solution.


There are moments when you have no idea where to go, what to do, and where to start from. But there are also good moments, when you calm yourself down, and you have that "I'm gonna be ok" feeling. And that is precious. You surrender to God and His grace, and everything becomes so peaceful. The voices stop, the doubt subsides, the nausea passes, and you just feel good. You're good.

Don't make a list with things you have to do. Chances are you might not start any of them. Just take them one at the time. Do the first thing you know you should. When that is done, do the next thing. When that is done, do the next thing. And so on. You are already overwhelmed, what's the point on putting more pressure on you?

Have plans. Stick to them. Make goals. Follow them. Keep yourself busy, so you can get over it. But don't arrange your entire day. Just take it step by step.

Do the first right thing: get out of bed. Do the next right thing: brush your teeth. Then the next right thing .... and so on.

You can do it. You are not alone. There are so many going through the same thing as you are. And we are all hard sometimes, and good sometimes. And we all just try to go through it, and survive. Life goes on. And you will find happiness again. And you will find love again. And you will get a job again. And you will make your dream come true. And you will be fine. Just trust it. You will be fine. Nothing can kill you if you won't let it.



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal

 

 

Angels Are Amongst Us

 

It's amazing how you can find people around you who just give you the feeling that you are being watched, and protected, and that all the angels around you got together to guide you through the people next to you, or your intuition.

You can sometimes have a thought about something and it turns out to be a great idea. Or you hear a song and is like the lyrics give you the answer to what you should do, or, what road to take. You go one way and something appears in your way to change your direction, and after that you discover that the new direction lead you exactly where you should have been.

I've found myself late last Friday night, waiting for a tram to go to some night classes I am taking. I've made it part of the way, but I still had about three quarters of the way to get there. Every tram that was passing was either going in the wrong direction, or they were going to the depot. I've finally decided to take one that was going to the depot, but which, at least it was going the same way I needed, and so I could get closer to where I had to be.

There was a guy in the station asking me where the depot is, and if by any chance is after the station he needed to get to. I've answered him and we took that tram together. We talked in the tram, checking the app to see if any other tram is set to come and take us to our destinations. It appeared to still be 2 tram left, but none was coming. We got off to the last possible station that the tram could get us before heading to the depot, and waited there for about 15 min, and nothing came. Not one tram from the 2 that the app was showing it should.

At this point, he took his phone and called an Uber.

"- Come with me. I'll let you where I'm getting off" - which was on the same route as I was going, just that my station was a bit farther than his.

I looked at him, knowing that I had some money on me, but, as you know my story, since my business wasn't making money, and I was going through separation, every money counted.

He asked a few times, and I finally thanked him and said yes. I was thinking that we will split it, so it can't be that much. And we weren't that far from where his destination was.

The car came, we got up and I offered to pay. He refused. He insisted, just as I insisted I should give him half.

"- Thank God, money are not an issue" - he said to me smiling.

I thought at some point he will ask for my number, or try in any way to ask me out or something, because a guy can't just offer to help a girl without wanting something in return, right? Well ... he didn't. He didn't ask me out, he didn't make a pass at me. He was a complete gentleman. We talked about the classes I was taking, where I was going, and, surprisingly, he was thinking of taking them too. So he just wanted to know if I liked the classes, if I found value in them. He got the information from me and that seemed to be enough for him.

"- You're a good man." - I told him. And I meant every word. "I left home feeling not so great, and you just made my day better.". And he truly did. "Thank you."

I was supposed to meet another girl colleague on the way, but we were about 2-3 stations apart. She called another colleague of ours who had a car, and kindly asked him if he could pick us up. He did. Even if he was actually close to the location the classes were being held. He turned, picked her up, then came and picked me up, and took us all to the destination.

A guy offered to help a girl late in the evening (close to midnight) without asking anything in return. Another guy turned his car around, although he was close to his destination, and helped two of his colleagues get there safely. And I have so many more stories like this.

Now, I'm asking you, isn't the world filled with angels? Because it sure seems like it to me ❤



Photo credit: pixabay



If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

Donations : PayPal 

 

 

 

Breaking Up Sucks

Who ever said that a break up doesn't feel like is killing you inside, they never really loved the other person, or they didn't loose anything in the process.

Even when you know that this is the right thing to do, because you love each other, but you are no longer in love with each other, it still hurts like hell, and you feel like you are being shredded to pieces.

I can't think of what's coming. As soon as I let my mind go back into the past, remembering his touch, his arms around me, his kisses, the time spent together, the nights we slept next to each other, the safeness he gave me, and made me feel, they are all killing me now.I wish I could describe you more of the wonderful things that my husband did for me during the years we've been together, but I can't right now, because every memory is kneeling me and it goes through me like a sword.

Love sucks. And you should not listen to anything I say because I am in pain right now.

Beside the fact that I am losing my relationship, and my marriage, by choice, but knowing that I have to do this because things aren't working anymore, I will also have to leave the house I have been living in for the past 13 years, I will lose the peace I had here, the safeness I had here. I am waking up with no money, no job, I don't exactly know how to do anything but write, a failing business, a lost marriage, and having to move back with my parents which are at war, and with whom - even though I love them so unbelievable much - we couldn't live together anymore after I grew up - different opinions, life beliefs, and the saying "m house, my rules".

One step in front of the other. Right? I've heard that. I'll try it. I am trying it.

Happiness is on the other side of pain. - I've heard this too. But on what side? Cause I feel like I'm not seeing it. They all seem such bs right now.

What keeps you? What keeps you from going insane? What keeps you from doing stupid things? Cause I feel like the line is so thin right now that I can actually see through it. How do you stand straight when you lose everything? Cause I feel like throwing up, and I see no purpose for going on. How do you live when you lose everything?



 Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal  

Children And Divorce

I was in my twenties when my mother called me one day and told me that she and my father weren't getting along anymore. I was at work. And my world came crushing down. I thought that maybe they had a fight, and they are just upset about it, but they will get over it, but she told me this was going on for a few years, and there is no possibility of mending things.

I called my sister and she said she knew ... for a few years. I was so upset. So upset. I didn't knew anymore what made me more upset? The fact that my parents were talking separation, or the fact that I was the only one who had no idea about it? They tried to protect me, as they said, and that is why they only told my older sister.

Little did I knew then that not telling me was, in a way, a gift. And I am saying this because what came next screw me kinda screw me.

The day I found out I went home having no idea how I got there. At some point I broke and cried for a long time. I was in my twenties, I was living with my husband who was my boyfriend back then, and I couldn't understand what happened with my parents. They were my guide, my role model. I remembered my father kneeling in front on my mother when she was on the couch and playing, making her laugh, loving her. I remember her hugging him, and loving him. I remember them doing everything together. I remember me hoping I get at least half the happiness they had. And now I was finding out they weren't the same persons anymore.    

For the following years to come, I was the referee. I was the one they called when they were fighting, actually asking me to come there and help them settle things. I was the one they were confessing contemplation of ending everything and going to God. And even remembering all this feels like I'm about to throw up.

I was living in the same city as they did, while my sister moved to a different one due to work, so after they told me, I was the one they kept calling.

I was having my own problems, and now I was adding these to the mixture. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I got other problems as well - my sister lost a pregnancy, I lost someone that I didn't left things quite alright with - and all that broke really bad at some point, so I ended up in therapy.

I've told them after a while that I was seeing a psychologist, and with that help, I got the power to say "I don't want to know anymore; you need to figure things out on your own". It didn't last. Nothing used to. They were ending up telling me about what else was happening, or what they were fighting about now. Everything stopped, really stopped, for a large period of time, when I ended up in the hospital. It wasn't related to everything going on, I just happened to get a really bad bacteria which messed with me a bit, but seeing me in the hospital bed, while the doctors didn't know what was wrong (it took about a week to find the cause) made them stop involving me in their problems.

I was in such state mentally, that the whole time I was in the hospital felt like a vacation. When they told me they will release me in a few days, I had tears in my eyes thinking that once I get out, I'll just get back to everything that broke me in the first place, and I didn't wanted to. I really, honestly, didn't want to leave the hospital and get back to everything.

I used to think that maybe if they found a way to remember how they were, how much they loved each other, they will find those feeling inside and get back together. I didn't wanted them to get a divorce. I wanted them to get back together. I still do. But there were a lot of moments when I told them to get a divorce. Because I couldn't take it anymore.

I was missing them, so I was visiting them, but every visit was a struggle. One was pretending like nothing was going on, the other was always pocking ... it was a mess. I was upset because I wanted to see them, but I was always leaving upset from there. I wanted my parents back. It didn't matter that I was in my 20's, or 30's ... I wanted my parents back.And not necessarily together, but for them to get along. To be able to stay in the same room without always turning it into a fight.

It doesn't matter how old you are, when your parents separate, you suffer. Your world is changing. And these changes can never go back.

It is not ok to use your child. NEVER. The divorce or separation takes place between the two of you. Your child SHOULDN'T have to choose sides. NEVER. Your child is already going through a change of it's own, don't make your child the referee, the currency, or the tool to hurt the other person. Do not even imply to your child that the other person is bad, while you are all milk and honey. If you are the one talking, you are the one they will perceive as the "villain", not the other person.

You should not stay in a bad relationship, no matter how many children you might have. Remember that I was asking my parents to get a divorce, while I was hoping they will get back together. I wanted them back as they were, not like that. Every time they were fighting, I was telling them to get a divorce. Children will be happier with two separated parents who get along, rather than with two parents who stay together for them, but they fight constantly, and puts them in the middle.

You child is not your best friend. It is your child, and he loves both of you. Don't tell your problems to your child. Call a friend, go to a psychologist, sit next to someone in the park and tell them, but don't tell your child everything that worked bad in your relationship. In this situation, your child IS NOT your friend, it is your child, and you are talking about his other parent.



Photo credit: pixabay

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

There Are TWO in Any Relationship

I keep hearing, and reading, from women who think, and say, that the well-being and happiness of the man in their life depends only on the woman. They say that if the relationship isn't working it is because the woman isn't trying hard enough, or doing what she is supposed to do.

What is a woman supposed to do to keep her man??

Sweet, wonderful ladies - and men who think the same - your purpose in the relationship is NOT to do everything you can to make your man stay. Please, read that again !

Your man should stay because he wants to be there, he wants a life with you, he loves you and respects you, and he wants to go through what life throws at the two of you, one next to another. And the same goes for men who believe it is their job to keep their women next to them.

Love is not a prison. You are not the guard. You are not his mother, nor the housekeeper, the cook, or the children bearer. You are not the joker, the entertainer or the mood keeper. You are the wife, just as he is the husband. You are both halves of the relation, having the same responsibilities and the same benefits.

You are supposed to love one another, support one another, and go through life together, and do all that while you still keep yourself as an individual. You don't have to erase everything you were before, just to avoid discussions or contradictions.

Don't be afraid to still be you and have an argument once in a while. That's sane. Can you imagine how it would be like to always censor yourself just to avoid a disagreement? Why on Earth would you do that? He fell in love with You. Now you want to give him someone new? I'm not saying you have to fight for every stupid thought or idea, but if you had some convictions before and he couldn't come with an argument to make you see things differently, then, by all means, keep your convictions and stand by them calmly and politely.

If he expects You to keep the relationship together, than he has no idea what a relationship is. He probably just needs a mother to pick up where he's own left off.

AGAIN - this is available both ways. If the woman in your life expects you to win her over day after day, she has no idea what a relationship is.

Men are hunters. Yes. I know that. They have that instinct. They need to "hunt" you. But even hunters take breaks. They don't just stay on their toes day and night.

You are BOTH part of the relationship, so you have to BOTH work for the relationship.



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

All Went Down From There

I have heard people talking about how your inner confrontations, and the unbalance of your life can affect your health, but until you actually experiment it on your own, it is all just a tale. You know you have a decision to make, one that will change every thing around you, and turn your life, as you knew it, at 180. 

You experiment every inch of your body itching like crazy. Places that you never knew could itch, you find out not only that it can, but it can do it for so long that it just drives you nuts. Your whole body is aching, and you feel every single muscle contracting and hurting. And your heart ... your heart is hurting worst than everything put together. And no medicine is helping. Because there isn't anything that can help, except you, making that decision, and having no idea what you will do next.

Where will you go? How will you get by? You've started a business that isn't working, but you can't quite shut it down because you've invested a lot in it, and if you can barely keep it floating now, you hope that if you last a bit longer, it might actually take off and start bringing money, saving you financially.

You have the parent's house, but you also have your divorced parents living in it, and they make you their referee every time you're there. Now imagine living with them again. Like it's not bad enough on your mental health that your moving back with your parents in your 30's.

When everybody else is starting their families, or enjoying what they built years ago, you're crushing your life, and starting over. Alone. No family of your own. No children. No job. No money. And a business that eats up every minute you have available in every day, without rewarding you in any way financially.

You've been down. So down that you felt flat on the bathroom floor. It took a long time, and quite a lot of therapy and external help to get back on track. And now you realize that everything you fought so hard to get back to was all in your head: the idea that things will change, that he will fall in love with you again ... if you say this, if you do that, if you agree to this ... when is it ever going to be enough? Enough hoping, enough believing, enough waiting?

People tend to say "try more". How much more? Does anyone know the years you've tried for? The tears you shed? The emptiness in your heart you felt every day? The ache of your soul? The fake smile you've learned to show when you felt like screaming from the top of your lungs, roaring like a lion? The desire to end all. The illusion you sold yourself that at some point it will be better again? If I lose that much weight, if I do more make-up, if I act like this, if I wear that ... When is it enough for everybody to say "she did everything, it just wasn't working anymore"?

You never know how your life will turn out. Nobody says "I do" thinking is going to be fun for a year or two, and then they'll see. They all say it forever. Hoping it will be forever. Believing their love could never diminish that much to get to divorce. And yet, that happens.

How is it all going to be? How will you survive, when all you have is yourself?



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

First Time

He used to fixate me with his look. Every time I was passing by, he was there, looking straight into my eyes. I wanted to move my look, but I never seemed to could. It wasn’t love or anything, but ... it was nice. I knew he liked me, I could see it in his eyes. In the way he was reacting when I was showing up.

I remember the day he started seeing me differently. We saw each other on the street, each moving to a different direction, he saw me and had a shift. Something happened in that moment when he caught my look. I don’t know if I can explain it. I see it in the people that fall in love. That moment when you see someone you’ve seen a million times before, but now you really see them. His eyes got bigger, he had a little flinch, and he was looking as if he would see me for the first time, with a combination of “I hoped I will see you today”.

On another day we met again on the street. He introduced himself and acted just like a school boy. He was goofy, and weird and cute, all at the same time. I was wondering what his name was, and now I knew.  It was nothing like the name I had for him in my head, but I was expecting to be something else.

He asked if I was alone, and I told him my husband is on his way home. It was weird. It was the first time when I said “husband” with a quieter voice. I wasn’t trying to hide that I had a husband, he knew I did, he seen him. I just knew he wasn’t acting like a husband for a long time, and I felt weird calling him that. Giving him the attribute of what he stopped being years ago. I had guys gushing over me before, and some of them I found them to be really cute and would have liked something more if I hadn't been in a relationship, but this time was so different that it surprised me. I wasn’t thinking at anything romantic towards the man in front of me, yet, it was the first time I didn’t want to give my husband the attribute that he wasn’t making use of anymore. It was the first time that I wished I was free.

We both left, each for his home, but something changed. I don’t know from his part, but for me it did. I was left with this feeling of emptiness, wanting to break out and stop all this “relationship” which wasn’t consuming as a marriage, but it wasn’t letting me be free either.

I said I won’t love again. Maybe this is what’s stopping me from feeling anything like that towards this cute guy that was clearly interested in me.

I am honoring something that isn’t there anymore. And I can’t help wondering, “is he honoring our partnership too? or is this just a one way street?”



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Is Cheating A Choise?

I was watching a video about a couple who fell in love, got married, had a child ... showing how their love was, and how they took care of each other when they were sick. Just one of those videos that people do lately, that is staged - edited and produced - to actually speak about something. And in this video, the man had a night out with the guys, while a woman appeared in the scenery and she kept trying to get his attention.

The man thinks at the possibility of trying something with her, but decides to leave her a note, that said: "someday when you will be a wife and a mother, would you like a woman like you to try to take your husband away?".

Now, what is wrong with this scene?

First of all, the blame is put all on the woman 🤔 - Maybe she didn't know he was taken. Maybe she didn't see the wedding ring. Or, if they are just in a relationship, not married, he wouldn't have a wedding ring on, so how would she know he has someone waiting for him at home?

And just to be clear, this applies to both men and women. I'm using the male example simply because the video was about a man and his experience with this type of situation. But, it can absolutely go both ways.

Maybe she did see the wedding ring, but, for some reason, she decides to proceed with this, still staring at him. Of course he's going to notice. You can always feel when someone is looking at you persistently. Do you look back? Maybe smile? Maybe more looks and smiles? In this case, who's to blame? The woman for trying, or the man for accepting it and responding?

Well ... both. If she knows he is taken - either by seeing the wedding ring, or by him telling her so - and she continues to pursue him, it is her fault. Just as much as it is his fault for accepting her, and pursuing her back, even if he knows he has back home exactly what she has to offer.

When is it ALL her fault? Never. Why? Because she is trying. Maybe she knows he's taken, maybe she doesn't. For whatever reasons, she keeps trying.

When is it ALL his fault? When he knows he is taken, but he accepts the other woman.

So, you see, the biggest fault comes to the one who engages into this type of situation, even if he/she knows they already are involved with someone else. All the situations that you witness your friends go through, while she finds out that he was cheating, and she attacks the woman he was cheating with ... that's wrong. She was free to pursue him, but he wasn't free to receive it. And, again, the same goes for the other way around, when she is pursuing and he finds out.

If the pursuer knew the person was engaged in a relationship, and kept acting upon it, it is both their fault if they go further. If the pursuer had no idea the other person was in another relationship, it is all the fault of the person who already had a relationship.

And, trust me, I understand better than anyone that things are not always black and white, they are not even grey all the time, but mostly different kind of colors. I know and I understand that all kind of situations can occur - the person is somewhat trapped in the relationship by some type of abuse or any other situation that doesn't really leave place for a separation - I know a friend who's girlfriend was threatening her own life if he left her, and actually tried it, in the end they got married, but he cheated on her right after.

So, I know, things are in a diverse range of colors. This is not to post fingers at the person doing this, or to judge anyone. This is simply to make people understand that solely accusing the person they cheat with is wrong. because most of the times they had no idea the other person was in another relationship. Pretty difficult thing to take into consideration when you caught them and rage takes over making all rationality fly off the window. But, maybe, in a split of a second, this will come to mind.



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

How To Create Your Happiness

I read a "story" at some point, in which a woman is asked if her husband makes her happy, and she says "No", but that her husband isn't there to make her feel happy, that that would be a too big responsibility for any person, to bring happiness in someone's life. - Great words. Really great words.

I remember one time, my husband came home, he hugged and kiss me, as we always did when one of us was coming or leaving, and I had a bad day. Nothing in particularly happened, I just wasn't feeling all that good inside for a while now. So I looked at him and said "I'm not happy", and then I hold him.

I was expecting him to do something about it. I was looking for work and couldn't find anything, I felt like everything I was starting was failing in one way or another, I couldn't find my place in the world, we were having problems ... I was just feeling like everything was wrong. And I was expecting him to do something about it. I was expecting him to understand that I wasn't happy, and at least for us to try to mend our relationship, because somewhere in my mind, if that worked, I would be happy.

He didn't say anything. No response, no gesture. And I remember I got even more upset, thinking "why isn't he doing anything? or saying anything? I'm telling him that I am not happy, I am being honest, and I'm trying to at least repair our problems, and he isn't doing anything". And I stayed upset for a long time, until I read that. The answer the woman gave. And that was when I realized that he wasn't responsible for my happiness. I was. I had to find happiness in me and through me, not ask it from someone else. I took him as a husband, not a buffoon. At the most, he was supposed to not be the cause of my unhappiness, but not be totally responsible for my happiness.

Yes we had problems, yes they were still there, but at least now I understood that regardless if those problems were solved or not, I might still feel the same, because it had to come from inside me, the healing, the peace and happiness I was expecting it from outside.

I'm still working on myself, take it one day at a time, but at least now I do it from a different point of view. Now I am not looking for happiness in someone else, in their words, or actions, but in me. In what I want to do. In what makes me happy, and what makes me smile.

As the woman said, it is a big responsibility to place your happiness on someone else's shoulders. Just as big and heavy as someone placing it on your shoulders. Imagine having to live your life being careful at every step you take and every word you say, in order to make someone's happiness. Seeing their disappointed look every time they were expecting something else to happen. That is surely not normal, and way to heavy for anyone to take on.

Every one is responsible for their own happiness. Not the person next to us, not the animal living with us, not the weather, not the boss, not the people we meet every day. We are responsible for our own happiness. And this is how it should be.



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Children Don't Belong To Us

The first time I heard this, my mind jumped three stores through the roof. "Our children don't belong to us"?

How can they not? I was thinking about all my friends who struggled so much to get pregnant, going through so many procedures, spending so much money, sometimes affecting their relationship, because it turned into a time table, rather than a loving couple's time. You carry that child for 9 months, give or take, fighting with your body who, sometimes, it feels like he's trying to torture you with all the morning sickness - by the way, their not only in the morning 🥴 - the child choosing all the painful places to sit on - like your bladder, or stomach, or your spine - you're going through labor - which, if you are lucky, you're getting off in a few hours - you're going through everything imaginable and unimaginable to raise that child, give them a proper education, and trying to make sure they have everything they need, and they are not missing anything, and, at the end of everything, that child doesn't belong to us?

Then whom do they belong to? - To Themselves.

Read that again, and read it well, because that is the pure truth.

And I understood this after listening to some true stories lately, and observing how some of my friends think of their children and their future together.

A couple of parents had trouble with money. The wife went to another country to work, made money to send home, but she also fell in love with someone else and left her husband and their child for the new life. The father raised the child, dedicating himself completely to the child's education, care and love, giving all his time, and saying he didn't want to date anyone, because he wanted to make sure his daughter has everything he needs from him. He raised her for 13 years. The child didn't want anything to do with her mother which she felt abandoned her. Until one day when her mother called her to the country she was now living in, and the daughter moved there, and the father was left alone.

A friend was planning a divorce, thinking she will move into a new town with her child. In every fight the child and the father had, she was always on the boy's side, no matter if he was wrong or wright. She was always talking about the sacrifices she made and will make for her son, the love she had for him, and how she saw her future life - the child was always nearby in the story. So I've asked if she knows that one day her child will make a life of his own.

- "Yes", she said.
- "And maybe that life might be far from you".
- "He won't go far, he loves me too much, he always says he never wants to leave me."
- "Did you love your parents so much that you told them, and truly believed it, that you never want to leave them?"
- "Yes" - she was now in doubt.
- "And yet you moved to another town, far away from them, seeing each other on holidays, when that was possible. And not because you stopped loving them, but because you made your own life, following your own course".

Just like we didn't belong to our parents, and we always knew better, and we wanted to be left alone to try things, and fail on our own, and make our own mistakes, or right choices, the same happens with our children. From the moment we give birth to them, they enter their own path. A path which might involve us, or not.

Your life is not your children. Your life is your life. It belongs to you. Your children are the people you love like no one else. And letting them have their own life, and their own course, doesn't mean you love them any less. Choosing to date after break up, choosing to do something that is good for you, doesn't mean you love them any less. It only means that you are living your life too.

Children will leave. Sooner or later, they will go on their way. Love them while you have them next to you, but also live your life.The best way to make your children happy is for them to see you happy. If you are happy, you are balanced, and able to take care of them, and you will be an example for them, far more than just by telling them what they should do, but by actually showing them what they should do.



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

ALL Words ... And the AMAZON is Still on FIRE

At first, no one was talking about it. I thought that if people knew about it, there will be action towards putting the fires down. Now everybody is talking about it, yet almost still no action. 

We have an amazing Planet, and we are destroying it. I wonder if others do the same with their planets.

This is the place we live in. This is Home. There is no other Home that we have. Everything else is an illusion. The place you go to every night, the one you call HOME, that one exists solely because you have that small place on this planet. That is the only reason. The real home is Earth.

I wish people could understand that Earth is the reason you are breathing. The reason you can have a family, the reason you are able to hear your children's laugh, and see your parent's smile. The reason you have a job, and you can walk to it. The reason you see birds, and the beautiful sky, and why you can touch the water. Earth is the reason you are YOU.

Saturn, Mars, Uranus ... none of the other planets have trees, and forests. Can you live on any of them? Can you breath on any of them? For how long? For as long as your tank supply holds you.

We have this amazing planet, placed in the perfect position from Sun, and all the other planets, at a perfect distance from asteroids and any other things from space that could harm us, or destroy us, and we are destroying it all by ourselves. For what? Make more food and raise more animals to sacrifice? I am all for having enough food for everyone, but do you know how much of that food ends up in the garbage? How much food did you throw on the garbage this week? Or last week? Or last month? Or in your entire life?

There is enough space to cultivate more than enough food for everyone, if the consumption of it would be done responsibly. And I am referring here at cereals as well as animals.

The Seas are exploited at a crazy pace, without any consideration for the fact that we are taking more than we need, destroying the ecosystem, and getting species on the verge of extinction. Not talking about the ones that are already extincted.

Think about the animals that live in the Amazon forest. They are dying. Through fire. I am not going to depict here how horrific that is, but if you ever heard a news about that, than you understand it. Those animals have no place to go. Where will they run? Where will they hide? There is fire everywhere. If their home is burning down, if every place of their house is on fire, where can they hide?

The president of Brazil is refusing help. He says that nothing comes for free. Maybe. I don't know. But would the cost of that help be greater than the cost we are already paying? And the cost that we will pay when that forest will burn more and more into the grounds and we choke on our own planet? Would that price be smaller or higher?

It's just one forest, some might say, and it is not all burning down. Maybe. But it is not the only forest that is burning, or that is cut down to make space for other things. Not understanding that those things will only last a short while, because once we destroy everything keeping us alive ... well ... there won't be anything to keep us alive.

This is not something that you can fix back in a month or two. If the ecosystem breaks, it will take tens of years, hundreds of years, or even more, to get it back together. Every bad action towards Earth takes less time to apply, than any good action takes to repair.

You can cut down a tree in a few minutes, but you can't make one grow to that size in a few minutes. It takes years. Hundred of years if the tree was that old.

Think about it. Really understand it. Earth is the reason YOU exist. If it weren't for Earth, you wouldn't be here. If you don't save it now when it needs you, you might not have a home tomorrow. Not in a thousand years, not in a hundred years. REMEMBER!!! Destruction takes seconds, building takes years. So, YES, tomorrow can be your last day, even if you wake up to a sunny, beautiful morning.

If you love having a home, if you love being able to breath freely, go to the movies, watch your children play, being able to call your parents, being able to take a vacation, or sip a coffee on a terrace, take care of your HOME. Love it. Cause SHE definitely loves you ❤.

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

 

Do Curses Truly Exist?

I have been asking myself a lot that lately. And I was surprised to see, as I was scrolling the internet, that others ask themselves the same thing. But, no one seems to have the answer for it.

We all make suppositions, we're thinking of all the things that are going wrong and connect them with the possibility of a curse, but you can't really say for sure, without any doubt, that curses are real, and that they are affecting people.

Unlucky at the new job, or any job, not being able to gather some money, or having all sort of financial problems; bad luck in love, can't make any relationship stick, or screwing up what you have thinking that you deserve so much more, and maybe realize after that what you had was actually good and you blew it; getting in all sort of small accidents, always bumping into things, always loosing things, or have all sort of things break around you .... do all of these things sound familiar? Do you think that maybe they all happen because you might have been cursed?

Words have a powerful force, this is something that everybody knows. And they can make a lot of damage when they are being used to hurt. You know when someone is scolding you, and you think you would have preferred they would just hit you and leave you alone? Well, because apparently, we forget faster the hurt caused by a physical hit, rather than by a word.

Since we can't establish for sure either curses are real or just powerful words, said in anger, meeting a receiver that either believes in curses, believes that he did something bad and deserves the curse, or is in a lower point energetically, the best thing would be to focus on what to do if you think you might be cursed.

Think of the people you know, how you've treated them. Try seeing things from their perspective, to be able to understand if your actions or words hurt them enough to make them feel mistreated and maybe respond to your actions with thoughts of: "I wish they could understand how this feels", "I wish they could go through this and see how hard it is" .... . Even if you identify the possible person that might have been hurt by your actions or words, or you don't, try apologizing to them.

Do it as you feel. Do it in person, write a letter and send it, or not. Picture them and yourself apologizing to them. Just choose what is best for you. The only thing absolutely important is to mean it. Understand that what you did or said hurt them, either you might consider it or not, understand that and mean your apologies.

If, on the other hand, you think the curse might come from someone who hurt you, you can also apologize for whatever action or word came from your part and they feel might have hurt them. Before jumping two stories high, thinking that you did nothing to provoke this, just remember that this is not about what you did, but about what they think you did.

Now picture yourself cutting ties from them. It can actually be a string of thread that you cut with the scissors, or you imagine placing all the things they hurt you with, in a boat and release it on the sea, whatever works for you and appears in your imagination, will work perfectly.

Sometimes, something as simple as "I am sorry for hurting you", can go such a long way. You have no idea how many wounds can be healed with just these words, when you say them and really mean them. They are not only healing the person you are telling them to, but they are also healing you. Your soul. You will literally feel so light, like floating. And your heart will thank you for taking that burden from it.

Say "I'm sorry". It will make you stronger, not weaker.



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Everyone Gathered Around - Will He Jump?

'I'll Jump" - he said ... And Everyone Gathered.

I was walking on the street and saw a lot of people gathered near an apartment building.

- "What happened"? I asked concerned seeing four fire department intervention cars and three police cars. I was thinking that maybe there was a fire somewhere and they came to put it out, but there was no smoke.
- "A teenager threatened to jump", told me a lady, looking up at the last floor of the building.

I stayed. Not because I might have been curious to see what will happen, or because I didn't had anything else to do, but because, somehow, I hoped that he wouldn't do it, or that maybe they might need our help. So I stayed.

People around me were talking. Some telling the story of the boy and his family, some trying to find out what happened, and some ... making jokes on the situation. And I was thinking, how can you find this amusing? A life is in danger. Either by its own hand, or by someone else's, a life is in danger. You don't know the story behind it, the things that maybe pushed him to think of doing this. But, it didn't matter the reason, the situation, as I was to find out. They knew the story behind it, and still made jokes about it. Even more jokes. I am not going to name any of them here, out of respect and because this is the normal thing to do.

The child had mental problems, and from what I learned, he had been kept inside the house for a while now. Have you noticed how you get when maybe it is winter, it is snowing a lot, and it is hard to get out, so you stay in, unless it is absolutely necessary to go out, and after a few days you feel like going crazy. You would rather wrestle the snow than spend one more minute locked in there.

The neighbors were talking about how they fear he might do something to destroy the building. Start a fire, or create a flood, talking about past times when he might have tried various things in one of his crisis, and they were blaming the parents for his actions.

I understand their point of view very well. I understand the fear they have living in the same building, and maybe on the same floor, with someone with mental illness, that you have no idea when their next crisis will be, and what they'll do in that moment. The fear for themselves, for their families, which they are trying to protect, for the property that they own, and everything in it that they might lose.

I also understand the parent's point of view. They see their child, this person that is part of them, struggling, hurting, suffering, and reacting with unexpected force to the environment surrounding them. I understand the pain of the parents who look at their child and have no idea how that child is going to take care of himself when they are gone. How will he live? Will he hurt someone so bad that they will go to prison? Will they be institutionalized, and maybe end up in a place where they will hurt even more, if the people taking care of them don't have the proper training, or the patience, or compassion to do it well? I also understand their moments of having enough of it. They're tired, they don't know how to make it stop, they can't take a break, but they long for one. The guilt they feel having these feelings, these thoughts, about their own child. For anyone going through this, and reading this: IT'S OK. It's ok to feel like you can't do it anymore. it's ok to fall down, and melt down, and break down, and feel like you can't do it anymore. IT'S OK. It doesn't mean you love your child any less, it just means that you are tired. And it is perfectly understandable.

But I also understand the child. This person who has no idea what is happening, who is in constant pain, constant hurt, and he's just trying to make all of it stop. He is fighting every day for survival. Not only with the outside world that he doesn't understand, but also with his mind who is breaking him day by day, minute by minute. We consider ourselves sane, and still struggle every day through all the challenges that life throws at us. Imagine doing that when your own mind is attacking you, and you can't make sense of what's real and what's not.

This story had a good ending. I'm happy to say that. But think about all the stories that don't have this ending. Listen to the people talking about it. How many say they understand the one in pain? Again, understanding everyone's point of view, fears and need for protection.

Try to understand everybody. They all have something invested in the situation. Either it is pain, fear, love, not knowing how to react ... they are all engaged somehow.



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Full Moon Ritual for Manifestation

The Full Moon is an important and powerful event that can help you with your manifestation. Any full moon is just as good and significant, but the one on August 15 is even more charged than usual.

Benefit from it through a simple preparation and action:

1. Prepare the space for your manifestation

      And I consider this as one of the most important steps. In order for the energy to flow freely, it need a clean, fresh space. So, yes, cleaning your house before Full Moon and manifestation, is important. Dust, vacuum, keep it all clean.

2. Write your manifestations

      Get in that wonderful state of gratitude and write down your manifestation on a piece of paper. Writing it down with a pen, not on a computer, gives it so much more power, and it helps you get in that state of gratitude, connect better and rise your vibration, which will charge your wishes and manifestations.
      At the end, give thanks in the way you feel it comes to you: either thanking for your life, your wishes, any formulation that you feel it comes from your heart is great.
      After that, take the piece of paper and place it on the window where the moon shines, and let it soak and bate in the moonlight. You don't have to move your manifestation paper as the moon moves across the sky, and it is also ok if there are clouds, or three brunches and you can't see the moon completely, or even partially for that matter, the message is delivered :)
    
3. Leave it throughout the process

     There are some observatories who say that if, for example, you full moon is on August 15, it actually starts at 0:00, exactly when the day begins, and by the evening of August 15, you see the phase of the next event of the moon. So I leave the paper at the window starting with the night prior, or during the day in course (in this case, August 15), all through the day, and the next night, and take it out the next day (August 16 in this case).
     The moon can be seen during the day as well, so keeping the paper throughout the day will only charge your manifestations even more.


4. Think about what you are manifesting

      As you go to sleep that night, think about what you wrote on the manifestation paper, what you are trying to achieve. See it as you are already there. Already having it. If you are manifesting your house, see your house. See the living room, the TV in it, the table, the couch, the beautiful, modern chair where you are relaxing, see the kitchen and it appliances, see the bedroom, the bed, the closet, the bathroom, the sink, the bathtub. See yourself there, and enjoy your house. Live it. Love it. Be in it.
      If you are getting a job, see the person telling you that you got the job. See your joy. Feel your happiness and see yourself expressing that happiness. Live that moment as it already happened. Because it did happened. You just created it. It is yours. It is happening. Live it, and enjoy it.

5. Make a life board 

      One of the most important things you could do while manifesting. Make a life board. It doesn't need to be physical if you don't have the printed pictures. You can create it on your computer, and put the picture in your phone to always have it with you. This will remind you what you are doing this for, and it will keep that fresh in your heart. 
       At the peak of the full moon, you can look at that life board and truly live the moment when you will have all that. Be in that house, get that job, meet those people, they are all there, and you are there with them. Be in the moment.

And that it is. Just live it like you have it. Feel it as you have it. You have it ❤



Photo credit: pixabay

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

The Best Answer Is The Truth

Absolutely always, no questions asked, the best answer or story you could ever give someone is the truth.

I've always been a person who told the truth. Not because I knew the power of it, but because I always believed that the lie can be discovered and I'll be called out for it. Later in life I truly understood the force of the Truth.

I am not referring here to the little lie that everyone is telling once in a while, but about important things. Things or stories that might even change your life.

People expect you to lie. When someone comes to you wanting to tell you about what happened to them: bad, sad experience, or awesome, unbelievable experience, you expect them to embellish it, and make it more sad than it already was, or, on the opposite side, make it look even more wonderful that it actually was.

But, when someone is telling you the truth, that truth is so real, that your mind knows that person couldn't possibly think of that. You don't hear the sappy words, or the lies, you actually get the true story. Even if you might have any sense of doubt, on a quick research you see they told you the truth.

The best way to obtain anything in life is by telling the truth, because no one expects you to.



Photo credit: pixabay

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Are People Meant To Leave?

I see everyday people who "complain" that friends, family, acquaintances are leaving their life even if they promised at some point that they will always be there for them. They are blaming them for not being there anymore, to whatever they might need. But people are meant to leave.

Whether they've run their course in your life, or you did, and you no longer need them there, people are passengers through your life.

Just think of the people you left, the ones in who's life you no longer are. Maybe your life took you to another level and they didn't or couldn't fallow, or maybe their life moved to another level, and you were the one left behind. The last one is the hardest to accept. But those people don't serve you anymore, and you don't serve them.

Once you've learned your lesson, you receive other people and situations in your life. If you don't learn your lesson, you are bound to repeat, either with the same people, over and over again, or with new people, but with the same character and attitude as the previous ones. If you move to another country, your friends won't follow, but your lessons will, so you will meet new people, but who act the same as the one you left behind.

With really close family things are a bit different. They don't usually leave once you learn, your relationship transform to harmony and peace, and they will be there to support and help you with the lessons you have with others.

There are a lot of people that left from my life, or that I've left from theirs. And, if at first I was confused and tried to either keep them or stay in theirs with force, now I understand and I am more accepting of the process. Dwelling in relationship or situation that no longer serves you will only turn that into something else.

"My friend changed, it is like they are a different person, they don't understand me anymore and our relationship is not what it used to be" ... Yes! It is different. Because you vibrate on different frequencies now and you can't resonate anymore. You need to let them go. Or you need to go.

"But, if we try, can't we get back to what we had?" .... You will have to work really hard at it, make compromises and give up parts of your personality in order to still fit that relationship or situation. You might have periods when things will be better, maybe close to what they used to be, but in the end, you will have to learn the lesson of letting go. You will postpone the moment, change yourself in the process, hurt more and try harder, but in the end you will get to the same place where you could have been months or years ago.

People are meant to leave your life, and that is ok, because new ones will take their place and help you learn new lessons, take you to a new state of you.



Photo: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal 

Remember The Lesson, Not The Failure

We tend to lose ourselves in the projects and tries that we are "failing" at. And I am using the quotation mark because I truly believe that we don't fail, we learn. But when we are going through a lot of try outs and they don't come out as we imagine they will, or they just turn exactly the opposite of what you hoped they will, you don't think of the experience as a lesson, but as something that you failed at. 

When a relationship ends, what did you learn from the relationship or from the breakup? Maybe you learned compassion, compromise, sharing, how to listen to someone else, what to do, what not to do ... .

When a project or a new job doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, what was the lesson there? Did you learn how not to procrastinate, how to be more organized, to prioritize, did you maybe learn a new skill, met someone through the job or project who helped you with something else, or who opened your eyes about something ... ? 

In every experience there is a lesson. Don't think of it as something that you might have failed, but try to see what you got out of it. 

When Thomas Edison was asked how did it feel to have failed 999 times, he just said: "I have not failed 999 times. I have simply found 999 ways how not to create a light bulb."

But Edison used those 999 times to understand what not to do again. He did not repeat the same mistakes. In my opinion, you can call it a failure when you keep making the same choices again and again, hoping for a different result. And to give an example close to Thomas Edison's reference: if you screw a light bulb in the wrong decision, it will never screw and light up. 

Make mistakes, it's ok, that is how you will learn, but LEARN. After every experience you have, that you might not be so happy about, think about what you learned, or what you should have learned from it.

Go be great. You definitely can!


Photo credit: me

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

 Donations : PayPal