Angels Are Amongst Us

 

It's amazing how you can find people around you who just give you the feeling that you are being watched, and protected, and that all the angels around you got together to guide you through the people next to you, or your intuition.

You can sometimes have a thought about something and it turns out to be a great idea. Or you hear a song and is like the lyrics give you the answer to what you should do, or, what road to take. You go one way and something appears in your way to change your direction, and after that you discover that the new direction lead you exactly where you should have been.

I've found myself late last Friday night, waiting for a tram to go to some night classes I am taking. I've made it part of the way, but I still had about three quarters of the way to get there. Every tram that was passing was either going in the wrong direction, or they were going to the depot. I've finally decided to take one that was going to the depot, but which, at least it was going the same way I needed, and so I could get closer to where I had to be.

There was a guy in the station asking me where the depot is, and if by any chance is after the station he needed to get to. I've answered him and we took that tram together. We talked in the tram, checking the app to see if any other tram is set to come and take us to our destinations. It appeared to still be 2 tram left, but none was coming. We got off to the last possible station that the tram could get us before heading to the depot, and waited there for about 15 min, and nothing came. Not one tram from the 2 that the app was showing it should.

At this point, he took his phone and called an Uber.

"- Come with me. I'll let you where I'm getting off" - which was on the same route as I was going, just that my station was a bit farther than his.

I looked at him, knowing that I had some money on me, but, as you know my story, since my business wasn't making money, and I was going through separation, every money counted.

He asked a few times, and I finally thanked him and said yes. I was thinking that we will split it, so it can't be that much. And we weren't that far from where his destination was.

The car came, we got up and I offered to pay. He refused. He insisted, just as I insisted I should give him half.

"- Thank God, money are not an issue" - he said to me smiling.

I thought at some point he will ask for my number, or try in any way to ask me out or something, because a guy can't just offer to help a girl without wanting something in return, right? Well ... he didn't. He didn't ask me out, he didn't make a pass at me. He was a complete gentleman. We talked about the classes I was taking, where I was going, and, surprisingly, he was thinking of taking them too. So he just wanted to know if I liked the classes, if I found value in them. He got the information from me and that seemed to be enough for him.

"- You're a good man." - I told him. And I meant every word. "I left home feeling not so great, and you just made my day better.". And he truly did. "Thank you."

I was supposed to meet another girl colleague on the way, but we were about 2-3 stations apart. She called another colleague of ours who had a car, and kindly asked him if he could pick us up. He did. Even if he was actually close to the location the classes were being held. He turned, picked her up, then came and picked me up, and took us all to the destination.

A guy offered to help a girl late in the evening (close to midnight) without asking anything in return. Another guy turned his car around, although he was close to his destination, and helped two of his colleagues get there safely. And I have so many more stories like this.

Now, I'm asking you, isn't the world filled with angels? Because it sure seems like it to me ❤



Photo credit: pixabay



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Breaking Up Sucks

Who ever said that a break up doesn't feel like is killing you inside, they never really loved the other person, or they didn't loose anything in the process.

Even when you know that this is the right thing to do, because you love each other, but you are no longer in love with each other, it still hurts like hell, and you feel like you are being shredded to pieces.

I can't think of what's coming. As soon as I let my mind go back into the past, remembering his touch, his arms around me, his kisses, the time spent together, the nights we slept next to each other, the safeness he gave me, and made me feel, they are all killing me now.I wish I could describe you more of the wonderful things that my husband did for me during the years we've been together, but I can't right now, because every memory is kneeling me and it goes through me like a sword.

Love sucks. And you should not listen to anything I say because I am in pain right now.

Beside the fact that I am losing my relationship, and my marriage, by choice, but knowing that I have to do this because things aren't working anymore, I will also have to leave the house I have been living in for the past 13 years, I will lose the peace I had here, the safeness I had here. I am waking up with no money, no job, I don't exactly know how to do anything but write, a failing business, a lost marriage, and having to move back with my parents which are at war, and with whom - even though I love them so unbelievable much - we couldn't live together anymore after I grew up - different opinions, life beliefs, and the saying "m house, my rules".

One step in front of the other. Right? I've heard that. I'll try it. I am trying it.

Happiness is on the other side of pain. - I've heard this too. But on what side? Cause I feel like I'm not seeing it. They all seem such bs right now.

What keeps you? What keeps you from going insane? What keeps you from doing stupid things? Cause I feel like the line is so thin right now that I can actually see through it. How do you stand straight when you lose everything? Cause I feel like throwing up, and I see no purpose for going on. How do you live when you lose everything?



 Photo credit: pixabay


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Children And Divorce

I was in my twenties when my mother called me one day and told me that she and my father weren't getting along anymore. I was at work. And my world came crushing down. I thought that maybe they had a fight, and they are just upset about it, but they will get over it, but she told me this was going on for a few years, and there is no possibility of mending things.

I called my sister and she said she knew ... for a few years. I was so upset. So upset. I didn't knew anymore what made me more upset? The fact that my parents were talking separation, or the fact that I was the only one who had no idea about it? They tried to protect me, as they said, and that is why they only told my older sister.

Little did I knew then that not telling me was, in a way, a gift. And I am saying this because what came next screw me kinda screw me.

The day I found out I went home having no idea how I got there. At some point I broke and cried for a long time. I was in my twenties, I was living with my husband who was my boyfriend back then, and I couldn't understand what happened with my parents. They were my guide, my role model. I remembered my father kneeling in front on my mother when she was on the couch and playing, making her laugh, loving her. I remember her hugging him, and loving him. I remember them doing everything together. I remember me hoping I get at least half the happiness they had. And now I was finding out they weren't the same persons anymore.    

For the following years to come, I was the referee. I was the one they called when they were fighting, actually asking me to come there and help them settle things. I was the one they were confessing contemplation of ending everything and going to God. And even remembering all this feels like I'm about to throw up.

I was living in the same city as they did, while my sister moved to a different one due to work, so after they told me, I was the one they kept calling.

I was having my own problems, and now I was adding these to the mixture. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I got other problems as well - my sister lost a pregnancy, I lost someone that I didn't left things quite alright with - and all that broke really bad at some point, so I ended up in therapy.

I've told them after a while that I was seeing a psychologist, and with that help, I got the power to say "I don't want to know anymore; you need to figure things out on your own". It didn't last. Nothing used to. They were ending up telling me about what else was happening, or what they were fighting about now. Everything stopped, really stopped, for a large period of time, when I ended up in the hospital. It wasn't related to everything going on, I just happened to get a really bad bacteria which messed with me a bit, but seeing me in the hospital bed, while the doctors didn't know what was wrong (it took about a week to find the cause) made them stop involving me in their problems.

I was in such state mentally, that the whole time I was in the hospital felt like a vacation. When they told me they will release me in a few days, I had tears in my eyes thinking that once I get out, I'll just get back to everything that broke me in the first place, and I didn't wanted to. I really, honestly, didn't want to leave the hospital and get back to everything.

I used to think that maybe if they found a way to remember how they were, how much they loved each other, they will find those feeling inside and get back together. I didn't wanted them to get a divorce. I wanted them to get back together. I still do. But there were a lot of moments when I told them to get a divorce. Because I couldn't take it anymore.

I was missing them, so I was visiting them, but every visit was a struggle. One was pretending like nothing was going on, the other was always pocking ... it was a mess. I was upset because I wanted to see them, but I was always leaving upset from there. I wanted my parents back. It didn't matter that I was in my 20's, or 30's ... I wanted my parents back.And not necessarily together, but for them to get along. To be able to stay in the same room without always turning it into a fight.

It doesn't matter how old you are, when your parents separate, you suffer. Your world is changing. And these changes can never go back.

It is not ok to use your child. NEVER. The divorce or separation takes place between the two of you. Your child SHOULDN'T have to choose sides. NEVER. Your child is already going through a change of it's own, don't make your child the referee, the currency, or the tool to hurt the other person. Do not even imply to your child that the other person is bad, while you are all milk and honey. If you are the one talking, you are the one they will perceive as the "villain", not the other person.

You should not stay in a bad relationship, no matter how many children you might have. Remember that I was asking my parents to get a divorce, while I was hoping they will get back together. I wanted them back as they were, not like that. Every time they were fighting, I was telling them to get a divorce. Children will be happier with two separated parents who get along, rather than with two parents who stay together for them, but they fight constantly, and puts them in the middle.

You child is not your best friend. It is your child, and he loves both of you. Don't tell your problems to your child. Call a friend, go to a psychologist, sit next to someone in the park and tell them, but don't tell your child everything that worked bad in your relationship. In this situation, your child IS NOT your friend, it is your child, and you are talking about his other parent.



Photo credit: pixabay

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There Are TWO in Any Relationship

I keep hearing, and reading, from women who think, and say, that the well-being and happiness of the man in their life depends only on the woman. They say that if the relationship isn't working it is because the woman isn't trying hard enough, or doing what she is supposed to do.

What is a woman supposed to do to keep her man??

Sweet, wonderful ladies - and men who think the same - your purpose in the relationship is NOT to do everything you can to make your man stay. Please, read that again !

Your man should stay because he wants to be there, he wants a life with you, he loves you and respects you, and he wants to go through what life throws at the two of you, one next to another. And the same goes for men who believe it is their job to keep their women next to them.

Love is not a prison. You are not the guard. You are not his mother, nor the housekeeper, the cook, or the children bearer. You are not the joker, the entertainer or the mood keeper. You are the wife, just as he is the husband. You are both halves of the relation, having the same responsibilities and the same benefits.

You are supposed to love one another, support one another, and go through life together, and do all that while you still keep yourself as an individual. You don't have to erase everything you were before, just to avoid discussions or contradictions.

Don't be afraid to still be you and have an argument once in a while. That's sane. Can you imagine how it would be like to always censor yourself just to avoid a disagreement? Why on Earth would you do that? He fell in love with You. Now you want to give him someone new? I'm not saying you have to fight for every stupid thought or idea, but if you had some convictions before and he couldn't come with an argument to make you see things differently, then, by all means, keep your convictions and stand by them calmly and politely.

If he expects You to keep the relationship together, than he has no idea what a relationship is. He probably just needs a mother to pick up where he's own left off.

AGAIN - this is available both ways. If the woman in your life expects you to win her over day after day, she has no idea what a relationship is.

Men are hunters. Yes. I know that. They have that instinct. They need to "hunt" you. But even hunters take breaks. They don't just stay on their toes day and night.

You are BOTH part of the relationship, so you have to BOTH work for the relationship.



Photo credit: pixabay


If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

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