How to Get Out Of Depression

For someone who never suffered from depression in their life, this might be something hard to understand. How can someone go through so much ordeal on the inside, when there is nothing apparently causing this from the outside?

Well ... usually depression comes from the inside, not the outside. The outside factors just amplifies the already existing inside feelings. You can be perfectly fine one minute, and absolutely "gone" on the other one, because something triggered you.

After almost three years of therapy I learned that not everyone have the knowledge to help you. And that doesn't mean that you are not treatable, it only means that they don't posses the required experience or knowledge to help you. It doesn't make it your fault, or their fault. It just is. And you can, and should, look for someone else to try to solve your problem.

The therapist is not a miracle worker. Some depressed people tend to invest them with far greater power than they really have. You are the one who holds the power, not the other way around. You decide when or if to visit the therapist. You decide what you decide to apply in your life from what they tell you. You decide if you want to continue with that person or change it with someone else. And so on. All the decisions are yours, and yours alone. You have the power.

How are you feeling reading this? Reading that you have the power? Seeing that you are the only one who can decide, and they depend on you and not the other way around?

It makes you feel strong? It makes you feel capable? Important?  .... You Are!!!

This is the starting point in anything. You decide! The power is all yours.


The Future is Not Ours to See

I have mornings when I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed. The same might happen to me during the day, while I sit on the couch and watch TV, or while I am taking a walk, or talking to someone, or enjoying a movie. I get pulled out of the moment and jump into the future or the past. My mind runs and I try to foresee the future ... which is stupid, because you don't know what the future will be. You're fearing something that didn't happen, that you have no clear evidence that it will happen. You are fearing something that your mind created. The moment you are seeing and living in your mind, didn't happen, and there is no person on this planet or in the Universe who can tell you that this is how it is going to happen. NO ONE!!!

Come back to the present. Look around you. What do you see? Name it in your mind. A tree. With green leafs, and flowers, or with green, unripe fruits. A car, with the license plate ........ A man crossing the street, wearing a gray pair of pants and a blue jacket. A dog fetching the ball. A cat at the window of an apartment building, liking her paws ... she's so sweet.

Come back to the present moment. Use everything you have around you to get back into the present.


The Past Can't be Changed

If you're not running into the future, you're going back into the past. The regrets, the what I should have done and didn't and the lie you tell yourself that you have no more time to do it ... I'm so curious who decides what thing to do when !?

You can't change your past.  

Read that as many times as you need to.

You can't change your past. You can't change your past.

Read it slow.

You can't change your past.

Then why do you think that living it over and over again in your mind is going to change anything about it? It happened. It's done. You're here. All you can do is take actions now. Make decisions for your current moment. That's it.

You know that our past always seem better then it might have been? We don't remember the pain we felt at the same intensity as it was when we've experienced it - which is good, it is the mind's mechanism of protecting yourself, otherwise we would all go nuts if we would experience the pain at the same intensity every time we would remember it. So, when you think of a painful past event, one that made you cringe and suffer beyond words, you don't feel it was probably that bad, and that maybe you've overreacted and you could have stayed longer, endure more, and so on.

No! You couldn't have. If you decided to end it, it was because you really couldn't live like that anymore.

So leave the past in the past. Remember it as a lesson, take from it what you need to grow and be better, but stop looking at it with regret and with woulda, coulda, shoulda. What you've decided then, was what you needed then.

You can't change the past. No matter how much you think of it. So stop giving your precious "now" moment to your past.


Life Has NO Schedule

None whatsoever.

There isn't any law in this Universe who says that you should be a valedictorian, that you should have a relationship, or seven, by a certain age, get married or have children by a certain age, have lots of money by a certain age ....

There is no law or schedule to your life.

There was an old woman in England (I think she was around 60 or something) who became an actress at that age, because she always wanted to be an actress. Where does it state that she was supposed to do this when she was 14? Or 20?

A man became a model at the 70 years old. Amazing that he did it.

Marsai Martin became the youngest executive producer in Hollywood at 14 years old. And she is a true success. What if she thought she is too young? She didn't care about that, she knew she had a story to tell and she told it.

Don't live your life by a timetable. This is what will get you into depression. The fact that you are 35 or 40 years old and still figuring out life makes you just the same as anyone else on this planet. You would be surprised how many rich people have no idea what they're doing. How they can't seem to find what makes them happy. And you might think ... "well, at least they have money, and a comfortable life", and you are right. But how happy are you if your mind is always telling you that you are not happy? If your heart hurts, and you feel a pain every time a new day begins? If money could buy happiness and relief, they wouldn't be having these problems, would they?

Make yourself better. Make your mind and your heart better, and then start working towards making that big amounts of money. They will come. Believe me. Once you have peace at mind and in your heart, you can do anything, and you can enjoy everything that you receive.

You have no idea how important mental health is, until you lose it. You can have anything you want to, if you have a healthy mind and heart.


Find A Goal

Find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If you don't have a clear "something", you have no reason to live, to start your day. It is hard, when you've experienced depression for a long time, but start small. Cry if you feel like it. Cry for an hour, a day, two days. But, at some point, start even if you are crying. Believe me, you will get so concentrated into what you are doing that you will stop crying, and you might actually find yourself a lot of minutes later still doing that thing.

You are smart. I haven't met anyone who isn't smart. Ever. I have met people who didn't have access to education, but they were all smart people.

You are smart! I don't care what anyone else told you. You are smart! If you are able to understand what I have written here - even if these words are read to you by someone else, because maybe you didn't had the chance to learn to read - if you understand what I am writing, you are smart. And everybody understands what they are being told. If they don't, it means they don't have the proper education, but once they get it, they will understand the words used.

You are smart! You wonderful soul. You are smart! And you can learn anything. And be anyone. Choose something. Or choose more. And be that. Wake up every morning thinking that you will work more at turning that into reality. And you will 😊 You forgot to believe in you, because maybe others told you untrue things. But I believe in you. I know that you can.

I know that you can. You are smart.



Photo credit:  💛 Passt gut auf euch auf und bleibt gesund! 💛 from Pixabay


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Relax, Rest and Breathe ... You are Enough

If all you've done today was to get out of the bed and make it to the living room ... that's ok, and perfectly normal. I doubt anyone will get out a genius out of this pandemic isolation.

I've seen a post on Instagram at some point, saying that if you don't come out of this isolation with a side hustle, a new skill or learned something new ... you didn't lack time, you lacked discipline or organization. And I have to say I first thought the post was right, and that I should start doing everything I can to mobilize myself and create something. Have a side hustle, learn something new ... just do something to don't lose this time I've been given.

I thought I would feel motivated to take action, to do something, to change my entire life, but the truth was that I was actually feeling worst. I was feeling like I am no good, because I have this opportunity and I am wasting it. Like I am only consuming, and not creating anything. So, of course, panic and disappointment settled in. My self esteem dropped, and I was finding it even harder to get motivated.

Then, days later, I see the same post, but on someone else's account, where the part of the side hustle, new skills, or learning, was cut off, and written below: "You are doing just fine", explaining how not everyone has the ability to transform this pandemic into something productive.

It is hard on all of us. We are all scared, we all experience difficulties, we all miss people, some might even lost loved ones ... it really isn't easy. We are all bored out of our minds, and sometimes learning a new skill also requires you being in a state of mind that you can actually assimilate the information. Maybe you can start and see that you can concentrate, and it makes you good to do something, but if you don't feel like it, than you are just fine. You don't need an extra stress factor. You don't need to rewrite the theory of relativity, Einstein did a great job on that :)

Rest, relax and breathe ... you are fine just as you are, and just with as many things that you can accomplish today. And if all you did today was to be able to keep yourself sane, then ... my dear friend ... you've had a wonderful day, and you've accomplished a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself! You're doing the best you can, under the given situation :)

Breathe. You are Enough.

Happy Easter to those celebrating it! 💓



Photo credit: Jill Wellington from Pixabay

 

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

Donations : PayPal