Sometimes "TOO MUCH GOOD" Can be Scary

 

 As crazy as it might sound, when you have an amazing opportunity to do something great, something beautiful, something that will change your life completely, it will transform it and probably make it 1 000 times better, you freeze. You get scared. 

I know some of you would say "no way", that you would love to have that great, amazing opportunity that I am talking about, and that you would not only gladly take it, but you would grab on to it and do everything you can to not let it slip. 

But, you do. Sometimes you let it go just because it is so new, and it gives you the perspective of something so great that it scares you. It freezes you. 

Taking something so big, that would bring you such an amazing transformation means to let go of what you have now and grab onto that. 

Picture this: if you have a rough rope in your hands, and you're holding onto it with both hands, and someone is giving you a smooth rope, one who might even come with a chair to rest from time to time, for you to grab that smooth, wonderful rope, means that you have to let go of the rough rope you already have in your hands. You have to trust to let that go, to be able to put your hand on the other rope. When your hands are filled with something, you can't put something else on top, because that extra thing will fall, cause you can't hold it since your hands are already filled with something else.

And that moment is what I am talking about. That moment when you have to let go of what you've known for so long so you can grab onto something new, that is promising to be so much more amazing. And that my friends, is scary. 

Why? Because no matter how unsatisfied you are with where you're at, and no matter how well you know deep inside that you are amazing, and you can do amazing things, and your purpose here is far greater than what you're doing now, the place you are in is knows, and it is comfortable, and it brings you as much peace because you know it, as it makes you unsettled because you can do much more. 

So, this is why Too Much Good can scare you. Because what you have know is familiar, and you know you're fine. But grabbing onto this new thing means letting go of this familiar state and trusting that it will eventually the new thing will prove to be way better. And you freeze. 

You fight for the new thing, and fight, and fight, and somewhere along the way you start having all kind of thought, and overthink everything. You start thinking what if you let go of this and the new thing will be worst? What if it won't work? You will lose what you have now, and where will you be?

Your brain is designed to keep you away from danger. And the unknown is danger. Because you don't know what lies there. 

But what if it's wonderful? What if that step was all you had to do to make it even greater? What if this will change your life for the better to such degree that your heart will cry of happiness? What if everything will work out so miraculously that it will leave you without words? What if it will be magical? What if it will be everything you dreamt of, or more? 

What if? .... Wouldn't that be amazing? 

You are scared, and that is so normal. So normal. No matter what others might tell you, it is normal to be scared. But decide to do it anyway. Do it scared, do it shaking, but do it anyway ❤️

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How To Get Work Done

 

Whatever it is that you want to do, whatever it is that you are putting off, just start.  

Work isn't always easy. Even the job that you are born to do, and you love it with all your heart, and you wouldn't see yourself doing anything else but that for the rest of your life, even with that you have moments when it is not easy to do. When you just want to lay around a bit longer, when you would like to procrastinate the moment you begin. And THAT IS NORMAL!!

Did you hear that? THAT IS NORMAL! You are normal. It's not that you're lazy, it's not that you don't want to do it, that you are not grateful, or that you don't appreciate what you have, but sometimes you just need that push to do it. No matter how much you love what you are doing. Sometimes, you just need that little push. 

Have you heard about the saying that when you have something you need to do, but don't feel like doing it, and you practically just go around your tail for hours before you start, that the solution is to just start? That's so unbelievably true. 

Don't think about the outcome, about where you have to get, about the destination. Don't even think about the journey, because if it is a project that you know it might take you a few hours, you're mind will be reluctant to start, because she estimates the time and effort based on past experience, so it will do everything she can to stop you from putting you at work. 

But when you're in the midst of it, what your mind forgets, it's the sweet happiness that you feel so fully in your heart when the work is done, and you have the end result. That moment of pure joy, and happiness that goes through your body is priceless. 

How do you do it? Just start. That is all. Say that you will do this for five minutes. Look at the clock, see what time it is, and say to yourself: "I'll give myself 5 minutes at this". What you will notice after those five minutes is that probably an hour or more has passed by and you didn't stop. You're still there, still doing it, and now you're so committed, and so engaged that you absolutely love it and you don't feel the times passing anymore. Because all you needed was that little push that got you to begin. 

 You knew it wasn't as bad as your mind was making you think it was. You just forgot. And the fear you feel before starting, that's not real. That's all in your head. How I know this? Because as soon as you start and get pass those first few minutes, your body relaxes, your mind rests, you start concentrating on the task and you don't feel the fear anymore. So, if you were really in danger, and there was really something to be afraid of, all that wouldn't happen. Your mind would stay in that state of fear. But it doesn't.

So, all you have to do, is push yourself to start those 5 minutes. That's all. Don't think about how much you have to do, how long it will take, where you have to get, or any of those things. Just start. Just start those 5 minutes. That's it. 5 minutes.

Have a great holiday everyone. You are all important. You are all loved, sometimes you don't even know who loves you. And you are all here for a reason. Even if it is just so that someone could love you, or to bring a smile on someone's face. You are here for a reason, and you are always wanted and appreciated. Stay safe, and have a wonderful celebration.

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Everyone Is Crying For Something

For a long time I believed that I am the only one who feels the way I did. The only one suffering, or not understanding life, or not knowing how to do it. I thought that other people have it all figured it out, or at least a big part of it, and they are all just enjoying the ride while I didn't know where to start or how to approach it.

 Only in time I understood that I am not the only one. No body has it figured it out. They are all struggling in a way or the other to find a way and to just live. It doesn't matter how old you are, how rich you are, how much someone's life could seem so amazing and glamorous on the outside, people are always suffering about something. 

Nobody's life is just perfect and that's that. Every person on this Earth struggle about something they may or may not speak about it. And most of the times, because nobody is saying anything, you just watch them and think how perfect everything is for them, and how easy breezy everything seem. But it really isn't like that. They're just not talking about their struggles. 

There are so many people battling depression in silence, being in an unhappy or unhealthy environment at home, at school, at work, among the friends they have, who have their own problems and they show their insecurities by picking on the things they know affects you, or they are jealous on the things you might do, succeed, or have the courage to try to do. 

And I also understand their point in a way, and please bear with me for a second, cause I know the first instinct is to say "WHAT???" But think about it for a bit. Where you never insecure about something, or frightened, and your first reaction was to joke a bit mean on someone else's expense? Or you heard of a friend's success and you were happy for them, but you also got jealous thinking you deserve that as well? Cause maybe you worked hard and all. 

So, now you see my point that we all have these moments where things happen? Where even if for a moment (which we all know that sometimes it lasts more than a moment), you behaved exactly like the ones you blame of being bad, mean, jealous, and so on? And that is because everybody is going through something, and there are moments when you can't fake it anymore, or you don't know how to react, or you just had enough, and you burst out, and you react in a way that maybe it's not you, but you do it. 

And, we do have to agree that there are people who are mean for a living, so to say. They are always making fun of everyone, giving snappy answers. But those people have their own problems as well, and this is why they are like this. I'm not defending anyone here. The people in front of you are not responsible for your problems, so treating them bad because you are going through things isn't excusable and it doesn't have to be tolerated. But it is what is going with them. It is the motif to why they are acting like this. So, maybe a trip to the psychologist wouldn't be a bad idea. And it will help them a lot. They can resolve issues and end up being a happier person, having a better quality of life. 

But what I wanted to say, is that no matter how perfect someone's life might seem, how easy might appear on the outside, how everything seem to fall into place so effortlessly for some, that's not the true case. People have problems. People struggle. People cry in silence, away from the eyes of others. Everybody is going through something. You are not the only one who thinks life is hard on them. It's the same with others as well. Just no one talks about it. 

Stay safe everyone, and remember it's not just you. It's everyone 😘

 

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Oh ... Christmas Tree ... Fake

 

Why? Cause that's how I like it.

Think of this: there are over 7 billions people in the world. Now, I'm not saying half of them, cause I'm considering families, even if there are more single people than there are families, but let's go with that for the sake of argument, and I'm considering the ones who aren't celebrating Christmas, so I'm just counting 2 billion people. If 2 billion people would chop a tree every single year to put into their homes for Christmas ... every year ... can you imagine how many trees that mean? That's a whole big forest. 

Do you know how much time a decent Christmas tree needs to end up looking like that? More than 2 decades (for who doesn't know what that means, it's more than 20 years). More than 20 years, to take it down in minutes and have it displayed in your house for a few days. Then it will dry up, and you will toss it away, and it will be chopped in little pieces, or, in some countries, just left on the side of the streets for weeks, or thrown at the garbage communal whole. 

Just stop a second and think of all the animals that are left without a home. You're taking a part of their home, to get inside yours, just to put stuff on it and throw it away at the end. 

Am I making sense here? Do you follow me?

The way I see it? It's like going inside someone's house and cutting off a pillar and taking it with you to put it in your house, then toss it away. Am I the only one who understands this? People are complaining that animals are coming too close to their houses in some countries. Where should they go? Those trees were giving them a source of food, and now they lost it. And they are coming to the limit that they once knew it was still their homes. 

I think I only had a real Christmas tree, inside my house, maybe two or three times in my life, when I was a child. Cause I had no idea back then what a Christmas tree meant for the forest and for the Planet. I had some vacations spent in the country, and my grandparents had a Christmas tree in the backyard, but we never chopped it. We used to put ornaments on it and let it in the place where he grew. After Christmas we would take them down, and the tree would still be there for next year. And there were years when we would just put ornaments on a usual tree, but not buy a real one to put inside our house. 

Since I grew up, I bought a fake Christmas tree that I have for over 12 years now, the same one. And it's beautiful, and big, and with a lot of branches, and it looks way better than the real one. And when Christmas is over I just put it back in the box and have it for next year. And I'm not polluting the air by throwing it away, cause I know it is plastic. Cause I don't need a new one every year, you just need different type of ornaments if you want to make it look different.

So, yes. Christmas can be celebrated differently. Christmas isn't in the tree, but in the feelings you have, the people you celebrate it with, and the traditions you have. 

Let's be a bit more conscious of the things we have now. Technology surpasses reality on a lot of things, and it helps protect the Planet and the environment. So let's take advantage of that, and try to create a better place for us. Not necessarily for the next generations, but for us, right now, right this minute. 

Stay safe dear friends, and have a beautiful Merry Christmas ... with a fake Tree :)

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I Wish

 

 I wish so much that I would stop feeling like this. Like it's the end of the world. Like I have no control over tomorrow. And stop wanting to control tomorrow.

I see people going on by their lives, so peaceful and at ease, seeming like they have no care in the world, nothing to worry about. And I look at them and think how nice it might be. For a second I want to be that way. Then I think of all the things that I dream of, and everything that I want to accomplish, and I want that. I want that trill and that emotion. That amazing feeling when you're doing what you love and you're succeeding. That smile when everything goes well and you feel one step closer to making your dream come true. I love that feeling.

If I could just shake this anxiety and fear. Wouldn't that be nice? To actually live every day without having those feelings like you're running out of air? Without worrying that you might have to give up your dream. That you will live unhappy, doing every day something that you don't like, just because you had to chose something else. That fear that you might choose or chase the wrong thing. What if you're struggling so much and in the end you realize that didn't happen, or it wasn't your road? 

But how could you possibly want something so much and feel it in every cell in you, and not be right? Not be the thing that you've been searching for and dreaming of all your life? How could you feel like every step you took was there to prepare you for this, but turn out to not be this?

That's just cruel. To feel it so deep in you, and not be what you're supposed to do ... that's just cruel. Fighting so much to get there ...

Patience. You need to have patience. This is something that I need to learn how to do. Every day is a struggle to keep the patience and the faith that all you feel in you, is because you were supposed to really do that, have that career, end up in that position, reach that point. 

I am thinking of my career, but it could be about anything in someone's life. 

It requires the same amount of energy to doubt, as well as to believe. So, choose to believe. - I have seen this so many times written in posts on social media, and I know it is right. This is like: why think it might go wrong? think it might go right. Isn't that beautiful? That hope feeling. That calmness and peace that you feel surrounding your heart when you start believing that it could be possible, it could come true. You could be the success story. 

I feel like I can breath. And I feel my veins fill up with even more hope, and happiness, and power, and an "I can" thought and feeling. I can. I can continue the fight. I can continue the hope. I can continue to do my work. Cause, in the end, this is all that I can do, my work. I just have to wake up every day and do my work, and believe that each step that I take will get me closer to seeing my dream come true. 

All I can do is my work. All I can do. The rest will come. Do you work well, be the best that you can be, try to improve yourself every day and take one step forward every day through the things you have set for that day, and the recognition, the fame, the money, the living high and well, all that will come. Because the people who are good at their job, always doing their best, they always end up having the best rewards in life. Because the people who need to see you, they will. Be present, be there, and do your work, and you will make it.

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Seeing a Psychiatrist & The Road Back

 

I have gotten to a point where I ended up in the psychiatrist's office, almost begging for a save. I reminisced all that happened to me, and, as I was saying it, I was telling myself  "no wonder I'm close to being locked up; I'm actually amazed I made it this far, and I'm still standing". 

My childhood, my parent's divorce, the lost of a child of someone really close to me, the death of a close relative that I did not get the chance to say good bye to, my professional failures, the marriage that was falling apart, and so many others. How am I still standing? How am I still lucid enough to admit that there is a problem, and ask for help. 

"I've been through this before. These feeling I have. I know how it ended. And this time I am afraid there won't be anyone there to help me, like the last time." - I was telling the psychiatrist. "I need help". 

She looked at me and gave me pills. The fear of my life. The pills. I was looking at the prescription not knowing what to do.

- "Is there anything wrong?" - she asks.

- "If you would have asked me a couple of weeks ago, I would have said I want the pill so bad, because I know I need help, and I can't do it on my own anymore. But now .... "

- "Now you don't want it anymore?"

- "I don't know." - I say. And I really had no idea. There was something holding me. 

- "This is just supposed to get serotonin to your brain, because he can't do it on his own, and we need to train him how to do it again. And the other one is just a support for the anti-depressive."

She looks at me and see's that I am still not convinced.

- "Don't you want to get better? Why would you want to suffer when you could take a pill and feel better?"

She was making sense. Why was I so afraid? Maybe because I've heard they are addictive. And I told her. They're not, she replied. "I can't help you if you don't want to be helped". And, again, it was making sense. 

I wanted to be better. I wanted for all the thoughts to stop, and the pain to go away. I wanted to be the normal me again. I went home and bought the pills. I waited for three days, then decided to take them. I actually had three really good days prior to starting. I was thinking that now I have something to help me, and all I have to do is take a pill and be happy, and feel like I could breath again. So I did. 

The first day I felt so good it was unbelievable. I was laughing like I haven't done it in a long time. Everything was different around me. I wasn't feeling like the end of the world anymore. I wasn't feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders and I couldn't hold it anymore. I was having different thoughts. Happy thought. Encouragement thoughts. Things were possible again. I didn't had to figure out the future right then and there anymore, I could just live the moment, and see what came. Deal with it then. 

I was happy I decided to take the pill. "I am so glad I did", I thought to myself. 

The next day started really good as well. "I really like this. I can do things like before. Working and concentrating. I love this." 

I went for a walk in the evening and I started feeling tired. "Oh, even my sleep pattern will get back to normal. I like it." I was saying it again to myself. My mood started to change. As time went by, I was getting more and more restless. My heart was beating faster, my mind was going faster, it was like I was in a scary movie, when the main character is being followed, and she feels someone is watching, but she can't see who it is, and if she's really being followed. I was in the house and obviously there was no one there. I just thought I was tired, and I needed to sleep. Which I did. 

The next day was worst. I still took the pill, because she said the only side effects will be dizziness, nausea, things like this, because my brain was adjusting to a higher level of serotonin. So I thought nothing of my symptoms. And I did not want to read the leaflet because I did not want anything to influence me. 

I made it through that day. I hoped it all ended, and which ever was the reason I was feeling that way, it passed. The next day, after that, it was the worst so far. I was having panic attacks, I couldn't bread, I was feeling sick, I had anxiety attacks, I was switching moods from calm and at peace, and smiling for feeling so good, to being nervous and frustrated, and angry, and hating everybody. I was having so many bad thought that I can't even explain it. I practically had all the symptoms that the pill was supposed to make it stop. 

I went back to the doctor and her reply was "You've induced these on yourself. Because you didn't wanted to take the pills."

How could I ever? Ever? 

I was so amazed.

- "I wasn't expecting this. You said nausea, headache, dizziness ... not all the symptoms I was trying to escape." 

- "Well, you will have the anxiety and panic attacks and all, until the pill settles and the brain gets used to it. It's just for a few days". - she said.

The only problem? By the time our time was getting close to the end, the "few days" turned into "two weeks".

- "I can't do two weeks of this" - I said. "Two weeks will end me."

-"Don't you want to feel better?"

This question was really getting on my nerves. 

- "Yes! Feel better. Not worst!"

She changed the medication and told me to come back in two weeks. "These are better. They won't have the same side effects like the other one".

Then why didn't you give me those in the first place??? - this is what I wanted to scream out. But I didn't. Because I thought that maybe they're not necessarily better than the other ones, or different. Maybe they just have a different name, since they have the same substance, and they are supposed to do the same thing. 

I left. And all I could hear of one of my friend's voice in my head telling me about how she came back from it. She remembered how she lost a friend over it, and that image made her decide then and there that she will pull herself out every day, just to avoid getting there. I doubted her technique then and thought that maybe her depression wasn't that bad - something I've regretted instantly; but when you are in a bad place, you don't believe anyone could possible get themselves out on their own. How could you, right? 

I started to remember everything everyone told me along the lats years that I was battling depression. How words matter, how important it is what you tell yourself, how impactful can be if you say that you are happy, that you are ok, and you try to smile even if you don't feel like it. Your brain doesn't tell the difference between what is real and what is fake, so you can tell him whatever you want him to believe. 

So there started my work. Every day. Every minute. Every situation. Every thought. ... I just had to make sure that it was a good one. Push away the ones that I didn't wanted, and only allowed the ones that I did. 

It's not easy. It's a constant battle. I have moments when I need to fight so hard, and I still lose sometimes. But I have to keep going. I have to keep fighting, because the pill ... that's not an option for me. Not in my condition. 

This is not a plea for or against seeing a psychiatrist, or taking the prescription they might give. This is just my story. It is what happened to me. Everyone's story might be different. There are no two people who react in the exact same way to the same stimulus. 

If anything, take this from this story: as soon as you feel like you can't do it on your own anymore, ASK for help. And choose what you feel it is best for you. Your mental health is incredibly important, so take care of it in any way you can.

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How To Make Life Easy

Living isn't easy. And if anyone is telling you anything else, they're lying. 

And this feeling of "life is hard", isn't related to how many money you have (although a comfortable life helps a bit), or how many friends you have (although really good friends can support you to face life better), or how many things you achieve (although, not having to worry about this aspect can help, and can also lift you up when you look at your achievements), or how wonderful your family is, how much you love your job, and so on. But having any of these, does help.

Happiness is found inside of you, not in the things outside of you. I agree with that. No person, thing, possession or action can make you happy if you can't see the good side in anything. I have been told that depression and anxiety are related to how you see the world. If all you did was see the bad in every situation, or if you were trained to look for the negative, that is what you will do regardless of how wonderful the situation might actually be.

I went on a vacation a few years back, it was my first vacation in a totally wonderful 5* All Inclusive complex, and it was so beautiful, that on my second or third day there I got so sad. The reason? I was thinking we have 4 more days and then we have to leave this wonderful place. Do you see where the problem is with this situation?! That I was in this amazing place, and instead of enjoy the moment and everything that place had to offer, all I was doing was to spend the time with sadness inside because it would all end.

Everything ends at some point. You can't live your life thinking of the moment when that great thing, experience, or situation will end. Just as every good situation comes to an end, so does every bad situation. Remember that the next time you feel like you are in something that has no way out. That it seems so bad that your entire body hurts. It all comes to an end. So when you get a good moment, enjoy that moment. Be present in it and live it, and feel it. And when you get a bad moment, grind through it and remember that at some point everything ends, and so will this bad moment.

You see how important the view over life is?

I know that it is not easy to keep hope and a smile on your face when all you feel like doing is crying and shouting. I know how annoying it is when people tell you to do that stuff and you are fighting every day to breath. I know that so well, and so painfully tested on myself. But I also know that staying sad is not an option. You can't get out of sadness by staying in it. It's like trying to put out fire with fire. It only creates more fire. So add something that will make you feel good. Go for a walk, for an ice cream, watch a movie, listen to a song you like, paint, write, dance, read ... do whatever makes you feel good. A drop of what you like will be the beginning in changing your state of mind. Doing every day a bit of what you like, will eventually help you feel better and better.

Try it. It might surprise you.

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Everything Happens For A Reason

 

 

And they do. As crazy as this might sound, and as hard as it might be to believe it, things happen for a reason. I know it's hard to believe it, or to understand it, when though things are happening, but, have you noticed how things usually have a way of working out? Sometimes even better than what we had, or what we lost.

And I know what I'm talking about. I am losing a business. Slowly, but surely. And it's not easy at all. It hurts. All the time you've put into it, the energy, hope, faith, desire, money, health (because it cost that as well), time away from other things. You put your entire you into it, and three years later, it all crumbles. 

I understand that this had to happen. That it was never mine, and it belonged more to the person I was in this with. I understand that it falling down is happening because something grater, and more amazing it's taking its place. That something way grater, beyond words, had to happen instead. But it doesn't mean that it is easy to let go. That it doesn't hurt. It hurts like hell. It still feel like a failure. And it will probably feel this way until this new amazing this develops and take its place.

I know that this was probably never mine. And if it were, I probably wouldn't have moved toward the thing that was meant for me all along. The thing that I have always desired. But, again, even if I am working on something new, which' prospect is amazing, it doesn't mean that letting go of what I have now isn't hard. I know it's not bringing me any money. That it was a struggle every day to make it work. But, as long as it was there, I had something. I had a job to work on. Even if I wasn't getting anything financially out of it. As long as that was there, I had that something to work for. I haven't closed it, the business. I still have it. I'm just dedicating less and less time every day. Using the free time that I have now, for me. To get the parts of me that I lost in all this time, to get my mental health back, cause that was also affected, when you work almost four years for something that doesn't bring you the financial aspect that you hoped for. And I am also using this new time to put it into my new path. Well, "new" path maybe it's a bit too much, cause it's not new, it's actually the path I always envisioned myself taking. It's the one that was always meant for me. And every time I think of it, I feel this feeling of calmness, and peace filling up my body and soul. 

How to let go? I don't know if I can tell you that. I think you have to find what works for you. What I do know for me, is that, what is to come, is far greater than anything I could and can ever imagine. It's out of this world surreal, but real. And I know that, that, was never mine. That business. But what is to come, that is mine, and always has been.

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How To Understand That You Deserve Good things!

 

 

I used to think that I don't deserve things. That maybe I'm not good enough, or doing good enough, or working hard enough. There was never enough. Not from my part. The world was doing good, but not me. I felt like I needed to push myself more, harder, further. Take less breaks and be more present. 

What I never realized was that I was doing enough. Quite a lot. But it took me a while to see that and understand it. I changed my therapist, and the new one asked me put down on a piece of paper everything I did that day, but not less than three things. At first I didn't want to put down me going to the store, or sweeping the floor, or washing my hair, for example, because I didn't think those matter. but he explained to me that it does, and they were done by me. I was taking time out of my day to do those. 

Once I started putting everything down, slowly I understood that I was doing a lot in one day. And the breaks I took during them, or when I was getting tired, those are the same breaks that any employee took while they were at work. I am working for home, but it's still work. No matter how successful has been till now or not. I was putting time in it, and acting like any other person on this Earth, while they are at their job. Then I understood I was doing a lot. 

Because the business I was working for wasn't bringing money, I was feeling like it was my fault, like it was my failure, like I'm not doing enough, not working enough, not doing more, not having the right ideas, and so on. I kept thinking that if I did more, if I were better, if I had better ideas, better work ethic, all these would lead to success. But I had all those, the business just didn't work for me. Not because I wasn't putting enough in it, but because it just didn't. It wasn't my fault.  

And then I started to understand that I deserved things. When I understood that I am working a lot, and putting a lot into the business, the fact that it was successful or not, wasn't a consequence of my work, but just how things were. Some work, some don't. Sometimes things happen because they have to happen this way, because you might have to do something else. There is another destiny. 

It's not easy. I can tell you that. To work that much and for so long for something that brings you nothing in return, but actually screws with your psychic, your emotions and your faith in yourself, that's a lot. It's also not easy to give up something that you put so much time and energy into it. And it is especially hard to quite the idea of "what if?". What if I did more. What if I find a way? What if I get a great idea? What if it starts working? What if? ... Even if the business you have isn't bringing you any money, it's still hard to close it. Because then you would be unemployed. Even if, as I said, you don't get money out of it now. It would be exactly the same if you close it. Or, maybe even a bit better, cause you might find someone to sell it to, and you can recover some of the money you've put into it. But it's still scary to close everything.

I know what I'm supposed to do. I know who I'm supposed to be. And I am finally on that road, on that path. But until you can actually get there, it's hard not to think, what if? You are waiting to get to that place where everything fell into place and you are finally happy and secure, so you can actually let go of that thing that didn't work. 

And I'm not going to get into all the "you should be happy regardless, and not wait for happiness to happen when this or that happens". This will be a discussion for another time. 

Think of what you do. Put it down on a piece of paper, on a notebook or something, and do it daily. Chances are you won't realize at first how much you are actually doing, because you are set to read between the lines, and only see the time you waste, not the time you are doing things. But you will get there. It took me more than a month to realize it. And I was writing every night what I did during the day. 

Trust me, you are worthy! You deserve good things! You deserve time for yourself, and a break, and you deserve a lot, because you are doing a lot. And if something didn't work out, it's not because you haven't done your best, it might be because sometimes things just don't work out, regardless of how much time and effort you put into it. 

You deserve good things. You do!

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How to Get Out Of Depression

For someone who never suffered from depression in their life, this might be something hard to understand. How can someone go through so much ordeal on the inside, when there is nothing apparently causing this from the outside?

Well ... usually depression comes from the inside, not the outside. The outside factors just amplifies the already existing inside feelings. You can be perfectly fine one minute, and absolutely "gone" on the other one, because something triggered you.

After almost three years of therapy I learned that not everyone have the knowledge to help you. And that doesn't mean that you are not treatable, it only means that they don't posses the required experience or knowledge to help you. It doesn't make it your fault, or their fault. It just is. And you can, and should, look for someone else to try to solve your problem.

The therapist is not a miracle worker. Some depressed people tend to invest them with far greater power than they really have. You are the one who holds the power, not the other way around. You decide when or if to visit the therapist. You decide what you decide to apply in your life from what they tell you. You decide if you want to continue with that person or change it with someone else. And so on. All the decisions are yours, and yours alone. You have the power.

How are you feeling reading this? Reading that you have the power? Seeing that you are the only one who can decide, and they depend on you and not the other way around?

It makes you feel strong? It makes you feel capable? Important?  .... You Are!!!

This is the starting point in anything. You decide! The power is all yours.


The Future is Not Ours to See

I have mornings when I wake up and I don't want to get out of bed. The same might happen to me during the day, while I sit on the couch and watch TV, or while I am taking a walk, or talking to someone, or enjoying a movie. I get pulled out of the moment and jump into the future or the past. My mind runs and I try to foresee the future ... which is stupid, because you don't know what the future will be. You're fearing something that didn't happen, that you have no clear evidence that it will happen. You are fearing something that your mind created. The moment you are seeing and living in your mind, didn't happen, and there is no person on this planet or in the Universe who can tell you that this is how it is going to happen. NO ONE!!!

Come back to the present. Look around you. What do you see? Name it in your mind. A tree. With green leafs, and flowers, or with green, unripe fruits. A car, with the license plate ........ A man crossing the street, wearing a gray pair of pants and a blue jacket. A dog fetching the ball. A cat at the window of an apartment building, liking her paws ... she's so sweet.

Come back to the present moment. Use everything you have around you to get back into the present.


The Past Can't be Changed

If you're not running into the future, you're going back into the past. The regrets, the what I should have done and didn't and the lie you tell yourself that you have no more time to do it ... I'm so curious who decides what thing to do when !?

You can't change your past.  

Read that as many times as you need to.

You can't change your past. You can't change your past.

Read it slow.

You can't change your past.

Then why do you think that living it over and over again in your mind is going to change anything about it? It happened. It's done. You're here. All you can do is take actions now. Make decisions for your current moment. That's it.

You know that our past always seem better then it might have been? We don't remember the pain we felt at the same intensity as it was when we've experienced it - which is good, it is the mind's mechanism of protecting yourself, otherwise we would all go nuts if we would experience the pain at the same intensity every time we would remember it. So, when you think of a painful past event, one that made you cringe and suffer beyond words, you don't feel it was probably that bad, and that maybe you've overreacted and you could have stayed longer, endure more, and so on.

No! You couldn't have. If you decided to end it, it was because you really couldn't live like that anymore.

So leave the past in the past. Remember it as a lesson, take from it what you need to grow and be better, but stop looking at it with regret and with woulda, coulda, shoulda. What you've decided then, was what you needed then.

You can't change the past. No matter how much you think of it. So stop giving your precious "now" moment to your past.


Life Has NO Schedule

None whatsoever.

There isn't any law in this Universe who says that you should be a valedictorian, that you should have a relationship, or seven, by a certain age, get married or have children by a certain age, have lots of money by a certain age ....

There is no law or schedule to your life.

There was an old woman in England (I think she was around 60 or something) who became an actress at that age, because she always wanted to be an actress. Where does it state that she was supposed to do this when she was 14? Or 20?

A man became a model at the 70 years old. Amazing that he did it.

Marsai Martin became the youngest executive producer in Hollywood at 14 years old. And she is a true success. What if she thought she is too young? She didn't care about that, she knew she had a story to tell and she told it.

Don't live your life by a timetable. This is what will get you into depression. The fact that you are 35 or 40 years old and still figuring out life makes you just the same as anyone else on this planet. You would be surprised how many rich people have no idea what they're doing. How they can't seem to find what makes them happy. And you might think ... "well, at least they have money, and a comfortable life", and you are right. But how happy are you if your mind is always telling you that you are not happy? If your heart hurts, and you feel a pain every time a new day begins? If money could buy happiness and relief, they wouldn't be having these problems, would they?

Make yourself better. Make your mind and your heart better, and then start working towards making that big amounts of money. They will come. Believe me. Once you have peace at mind and in your heart, you can do anything, and you can enjoy everything that you receive.

You have no idea how important mental health is, until you lose it. You can have anything you want to, if you have a healthy mind and heart.


Find A Goal

Find a reason to get out of bed in the morning. If you don't have a clear "something", you have no reason to live, to start your day. It is hard, when you've experienced depression for a long time, but start small. Cry if you feel like it. Cry for an hour, a day, two days. But, at some point, start even if you are crying. Believe me, you will get so concentrated into what you are doing that you will stop crying, and you might actually find yourself a lot of minutes later still doing that thing.

You are smart. I haven't met anyone who isn't smart. Ever. I have met people who didn't have access to education, but they were all smart people.

You are smart! I don't care what anyone else told you. You are smart! If you are able to understand what I have written here - even if these words are read to you by someone else, because maybe you didn't had the chance to learn to read - if you understand what I am writing, you are smart. And everybody understands what they are being told. If they don't, it means they don't have the proper education, but once they get it, they will understand the words used.

You are smart! You wonderful soul. You are smart! And you can learn anything. And be anyone. Choose something. Or choose more. And be that. Wake up every morning thinking that you will work more at turning that into reality. And you will 😊 You forgot to believe in you, because maybe others told you untrue things. But I believe in you. I know that you can.

I know that you can. You are smart.



Photo credit:  💛 Passt gut auf euch auf und bleibt gesund! 💛 from Pixabay


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Relax, Rest and Breathe ... You are Enough

If all you've done today was to get out of the bed and make it to the living room ... that's ok, and perfectly normal. I doubt anyone will get out a genius out of this pandemic isolation.

I've seen a post on Instagram at some point, saying that if you don't come out of this isolation with a side hustle, a new skill or learned something new ... you didn't lack time, you lacked discipline or organization. And I have to say I first thought the post was right, and that I should start doing everything I can to mobilize myself and create something. Have a side hustle, learn something new ... just do something to don't lose this time I've been given.

I thought I would feel motivated to take action, to do something, to change my entire life, but the truth was that I was actually feeling worst. I was feeling like I am no good, because I have this opportunity and I am wasting it. Like I am only consuming, and not creating anything. So, of course, panic and disappointment settled in. My self esteem dropped, and I was finding it even harder to get motivated.

Then, days later, I see the same post, but on someone else's account, where the part of the side hustle, new skills, or learning, was cut off, and written below: "You are doing just fine", explaining how not everyone has the ability to transform this pandemic into something productive.

It is hard on all of us. We are all scared, we all experience difficulties, we all miss people, some might even lost loved ones ... it really isn't easy. We are all bored out of our minds, and sometimes learning a new skill also requires you being in a state of mind that you can actually assimilate the information. Maybe you can start and see that you can concentrate, and it makes you good to do something, but if you don't feel like it, than you are just fine. You don't need an extra stress factor. You don't need to rewrite the theory of relativity, Einstein did a great job on that :)

Rest, relax and breathe ... you are fine just as you are, and just with as many things that you can accomplish today. And if all you did today was to be able to keep yourself sane, then ... my dear friend ... you've had a wonderful day, and you've accomplished a lot. Don't be so hard on yourself! You're doing the best you can, under the given situation :)

Breathe. You are Enough.

Happy Easter to those celebrating it! 💓



Photo credit: Jill Wellington from Pixabay

 

 

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Protect your Energy in Isolation

Living these days in isolation you might find that it is so easy to have your peace and energy thrown up the walls. You are confided in a small house - and, trust me, no matter how big your hows is, when you have to live there 24/7 with someone else, that space feels like 1 square meter - you hear sad, depressing news on every channel, you see empty streets, a sense of fear is always present, and the list can go on.

If, before that, when you had a fight you could go, take a walk, or just go to another room and chill and restore your energy, you might discover that these are things that might no longer be available. If you do have the possibility to go outside for 10 minutes - of course, taking all the precaution necessary to be outside in these times - than do so. Avoid any other contact, wear gloves, wear a face mask, and go take a walk. Or sit next to a tree. Yes ... I know ... everybody on the internet is sending you to go hug a tree. They do, because if you haven't done it before, you have no idea how much it can change your vibe.

If you can't go outside, ask the person you were fighting with to at least give you the necessary time, space and intimacy that you need. And as they respect yours, you will respect theirs. So, go into a room, lay on the floor and sit there until you feel you are all better. Or watch something on the TV. Read a book. Or just lay in bed if this is what you feel you need to recharge. Usually you will feel what you need to do.

Limit your connection to the people that you know their messing with your energy. I, myself, had two phone calls today that I knew how our discussions usually turn, and that they end up with my energy affected. On the first phone call, I've reacted to what I was told, and that kind of drained me. On the second call, I've started reacting, but as I was already pretty drained from the previous discussion, I stopped. I took a pause, letting the other person talk, and I've started responding instead of reacting.

I have realized that I do not have to take decisions for the other person, I do not have to solve their problems, I do not have to look for ways out of their situations, I didn't even had to tell them what I think the solution might be. All I needed to do was listen, with an invisible wall in front of me, blocking their lower energy level they had at that moment, and offer my perspective only if and when requested, with the idea in mind that the rest is up to them, either they will consider my perspective or not.

I do not have to convince them that my perspective is good. I don't know if it's good. It's what I have in mind now, listening to their problem, but I am acting as an outside watcher, I don't know if I would feel the same if I was going through that scenario.

Just because you are isolated, and your only form of communication is through technology, doesn't mean you have to take all the calls that you know might not be good for you. You have the right to select your circle. You have the right to turn off a conversation when that makes you feel in any other way than good. You are going through an already stressful situation, don't add to it. Now, more than ever, choose your people, habits and interactions. And if it is a conversation you simply can't avoid, like talking to your boss or parents, for example, don't react. Just listen to them. And while you do that, imagine a wall between the two of you, and each of you keeps its own energy on his own side of the wall.

If you wouldn't let just anyone come into your home, you should guard your mind even more fiercely. This is your most priced intimate place. Keep it as safe and clean as possible. 



Photo credit: Renata Hille from Pixabay


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Tips and Tools to Get Through Isolation

As we've talked in my previous post, isolation can be really hard. You might experience fear, panic, anxiety, and many other states that hurt your mind, body and spirit. That is because it is a scary situation, and also because you are being imposed to do something against your natural will. You are used to go outside. You're whole live happens mostly outside of your home: your job, taking a walk, going out with friends, taking the dog out, and so on.

It is normal to experience everything you are experiencing. And now you can definitely see that you are not alone in this. There are million of other people all around the Globe going through the same things as you do. What you see on the internet, with people having fun and laughing through this isolation, let me tell you that it is not as real as you might think, because that doesn't happen 24/7. That is just a portion of one day, not what they do every single day, all day long. They too are scared. they too are feeling lost, and panicked, and have no idea how to get over this. So don't compare your isolation to what you see online. That is just a small portion of someone's day.

There are some wonderful people who are doing their best to help others during these hard times, and I am so grateful for their help.

Bob Proctor is offering people a free replay of the Paradigm Shift seminar. Amazing seminar, and an amazing human being. It will not only help you forget about your anxiety, but it will also teach you valuable things. And also a Q&A on his YouTube channel, which also tackles the current situation.

- you can find the seminar here: https://linktr.ee/proctorgallagher
- the Q&A is found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQw43U5k69Y&feature=youtu.be

Gabrielle Bernstein will have a Free Anxiety Relief Workshop on March 29. She has some amazing tips and a wonderful way of speaking, and I am sure this workshop is going to help a lot of people get through these hard times. Access her Instagram or Facebook page and get all the details.

- you can find more on the workshop here: https://www.instagram.com/p/B-FMqXKJBvK/

Amy Sikarskie has a lot of videos, posts and lives to help you. She has so much calmness in her that you literally calm down yourself while listening to her. You can find her on her personal account on Instagram, as well as on raise.the.vibe.tribe, spiritschoolmagic, and on her YouTube channel. She is so warm and kind. You're going to love her :)

- here is her Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/amysikarskie/channel/


I really hope these tools will help you, not only calm yourself down and get over your panic and fear, but that their work will also help you grow, and help you find yourself.

I have no connection to either one of them, other than the fact that I admire them and all the work they put into helping out people in need. I just want to help others find all the support they need to make their life easier, regardless of the isolation or not.

If you know any other people or material that might help us all get through this, it will be highly welcomed, loved and deeply appreciated. We are all in this together, and we will get over it. 




Photo credit: Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

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How to Fight Panic Attacks in Isolation

We're all in this together never sounded more true. We literally are all in this together. No matter in what country you are or on which continent, this virus hit us all. And now the isolation came. More and more countries imposed restrictions, and asked people to isolate themselves at home. I have never in a million years thought this will be so hard to do. All we are required to do is to stay home, and if you are anything like me, you are already going through panic attacks, eating through your fridge and pantry, and moving from on room to another, from the bed to the floor, and so on.

Remember those times when you were saying that you wished to have more time to stay at home with your family? When you were a bit upset that you didn't had time to read the book you bought so enthusiastically? When you just wished for a few days off to stay on the couch and not do anything all day long?

Well ... now you have the chance to do all these things that you were so bumped about not having the time for. You are free to do whatever you want for the following weeks.

So, why are we freaking out?

We're freaking out because, first of all, this wasn't our choice, it was imposed on us. And as any thing that it is forced, not chosen, you have a hard time accepting it and following it. Secondly, we don't know how to live outside an organized system. And creating our own isn't that easy. We associate home with free time. So, you act accordingly in your free time, on the duration that you've gotten used to. You can be flexible with a day or two, but anything more than that will create a discomfort.

Thirdly, we associate long periods of time of staying home with not having a job. If you're on leave, you're going in a vacation, you're not spending 30 days on the couch. Your brain is sending you into panic mode, because you perceive it as a failure, as not having a job. And, of course, to this it adds up the fear thoughts of when will you go back to work? If you will have a job to return to. If you will be able to pay your bills and cover your expenses. And many other similar thoughts.

See how easy it is to lose control of your mind here? 

You're probably worrying about your family's health, especially if you have older relatives. You discover that the relation with other family members was better when you only had a specific amount of time to spend together, and this 24/7 situation is adding stress to an already not easy situation.

So, what can you do?

1. First, take it easy. Take it one day at a time. One hour at a time. And if you have to, even one minute at a time. Anything rushed will cause anxiety and panic attacks. So, take it slow. There is nothing rushing you.


2. Schedule the whole day ahead, or set the next step as you go. See what works for you, but try to have a schedule.

    - If thinking that you have a whole day in front of you and you have no idea what to do with it, give you anxiety, stop thinking of it like this, and start thinking of what you want to do next. Maybe get a cup of coffee, or call a friend, watch a movie, wash your laundry, or just spend time petting your pet.

    - If, on the other hand, you usually need to have it all laid down step-by-step from dawn till dusk, then do that. The beginning of your day shouldn't add more stress. It should calm it and give you a peaceful start. 


3. Exercise. Even if you are at home, and you don't feel like it, exercise. This will not only help you physically, but also mentally. 

    -There are plenty of workout videos and teachers online. See what works for you and do it. Again, even if you don't feel like it in the beginning. It will come to you. You'll see.

    - every doctor, fitness coach and nutritionist will tell you that body movement helps fight against anxiety, panic attacks and even depression. So, keep moving. Yoga, Pilates, aerobics, dancing ... whatever it is that you find pleasure in, do that. This should bring you joy, not stress you even more.


4. Stay connected, but don't over do it. Keep in touch with social media, funny posts, friends ... but don't spend all day doing just that. You need a schedule, remember?  :) 

    - social media can be a great place to find comfort in during a time when you can have physical contact with people, but, at the same time, spending too much time in front of the screen, scrolling, can affect your mind. Your eyes and brain gets tired and that will soon translate into anxiety and panic attacks, without mentioning that reading all day fake news or real, but bad news, about everything that is happening, is not good for your mental state.


5. Do chores. Allocate some time washing dishes, cleaning, dusting, doing laundry, ironing, cleaning closets, etc ... It keeps yourself and your mind busy. Plus, you can do that thorough cleaning you've always said you would do it so amazingly if you'd only had the time. Well ... now you have it. That time was granted to you. Use it :)


6. Take time for yourself. This is so important that I would write it in capital letters. Read, watch a movie, do your nails, take that long bath, try a new make up ... do something that you absolutely enjoy.

    - when you do things for yourself, you start feeling good. When you feel good, you tend to forget about the things that stress you out. There for, you can fight with anxiety and panic attack just by choosing to have your "you time"
  

7. Eat healthy. I know you think about all those unhealthy stuff you bought. I know you think you can hear them calling you 😁 Don't be sorry you bought them. You should have bought them. But you don't have to eat them all in one day. They are there. They're not going anywhere. No one is going to take them away from you. And if they do, you can go to the store and buy more. Don't obsess over it. Your mind is playing tricks on you, and you eat because you are bored, confused, scared, sad, happy, you have a panic attack, you replace other things with food ... whichever might be the reason, eating all your snacks in one go won't help you feel any better. TRUST ME.

    - I suggest you keep a notepad on the living room table - here is where you'll consume the larger portion of your snacks - and write down everything you are eating, either it is a proper meal, snack, or fruits and vegetables. Write them down one under another, also counting them. If the list gets too long and you still feel like chewing something, ask yourself if you are truly hungry or craving that, or if you are replacing it with something else.

    - the best thing to do to stop you from going through the entire pantry is to keep yourself busy. Do chores, work, dance, sing ...

    - keep your hands busy. If you are using your hands for something, you won't be able to eat :) 

    - also, keep in mind that unhealthy foods amplifies the bad feelings. ALWAYS. If you want to keep up your levels of optimism, and generally have a better mood, choose healthier foods and snacks.


8. Reach out. There is a chance that even if you are trying your best to keep yourself busy, to still experience panic attacks. The bets thing that you can do during those times is to reach out.

    - if you have a psychologist you're usually visiting, call them, and ask for assistance through phone or skype. 

    - if you don't have someone who is offering professional help, and you are home alone, call a relative or a friend, someone that you feel comfortable talking too, and whom probably helped you in the past while going through a panic attack. Tell them what is going on, and ask them to talk to you about anything. Switching from the "danger" your mind thinks you are in, to a peaceful, funny conversation, will help you calm down.

    - if the matter is urgent and you feel you are spiraling down, ask a member of the family to hold you really tight in their arms for a few minutes. This will help your nervous system calm down. If you have no one around you, put your back against the wall, or lay down on the floor, and hold yourself with your arms around you really tight, while imagining there is someone else doing it. This can also trick your mind into thinking someone else is holing you

    - there are a lot of countries that are offering free support on special phone numbers created specifically for this current crises. Look online and see what is the phone number in the country you are from, and call them. They will know how to help you calm down your anxiety and panic attacks


This thing won't last. I know how bad it seems right now, how hard it is because you worry a lot, and you have to do something forced, not by your own choice, but it will pass. Everything will get back to normal. If we follow these rules and we stay in, everything will be over much faster, and we can go back to our normal lives.

Take care of yourselves. And take care of the people around you. Make sure you get out of this with your family intact. So, if they say you shouldn't have direct contact with your older relatives, even if you miss them, or if you just want to send your kids to see them ... listen to their advice and protect your parents or grand parents. If a young adult gets the virus, chances are way higher for that adult to recover, rather than it would be for an older person or an infant.

The more we comply to the rules, to faster we can all get out of this situation.

Stay safe! And keep the people around you safe 💓



Photo credit: stokpic from Pixabay


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What is The VIRUS Trying to Teach Us?

We are living some times that are far from being easy. Disease has come to us all, no matter of gender, age, body conformation, nationality, health, orientation, religion, beliefs, or any other aspect that we tend to categorize ourselves by. Either we are experiencing symptoms, or are asymptomatic, if we are infected, or not, we are all in this together, being asked to isolate inside the homes, to protect ourselves and the others.

You go inside your home, and you try to do your best to come up with things to do that will keep you sane. That will stop you from climbing the walls and wanting to break free. Because we have to face it, when something it is imposed on you, that is when you reject it more fiercely.

But, look outside your window. Look at the flowers that are starting to emerge. Look at the trees that are blooming full of life and beauty. Listen to the birds who sing freely on the branches of the trees, or on the small space in front of your window. Hear the sound of the bugs and bees that fly through the air. Their life goes on. You could even say it flourishes. We are the only ones who are stopping. They continue to live.

If you listen closely, you could even say you hear the Earth breath, and repairing itself.

Could it be that we needed to learn something? Kind of a harsh way to do it, if you ask me, looking at the news of what is going on in the world, and how many loved ones were lost.

Staying isolated forces us to connect with ... US. With ourselves. We've gotten so absorbed by everything around us, that sometimes I have the feeling we were only existing, not truly living. Always chasing the next best thing, always expecting something else to happen, something else to bring us joy. Leaving the responsibility for our happiness in the hands of others, and suffer to the extremes when that person, thing or situation didn't bring us the happiness we've entrusted them with.

Maybe sometimes we felt like we are better friends with a person from the other side of the world, that we never personally meet, rather than with our own families. We love our children so much, but yet we've started to lack the patience our parents had, giving them all kind of devices to keep them occupied when they begin to cry, rather than asking what the problem is, what makes them cry. We stopped visiting our families, and choose to go out with friends, choose a movie, or stay home on the couch all day, even if we could have incorporated the family in some of these activities.

Is it just me, or were we already isolated in our own space and mind? Chosen by us freely, and felt good about it. And yet, now that we are being asked to do it to protect ourselves and the people around us, we get that itch to leave, to break the rules, to go outside for half an hour ... because staying isolated inside all day feels like torture.

We are doing it. We're staying in more. Or, if we go out, we're walking, rather than using cars and public transportation. Maybe this is a way of the Planet to repair itself. It's not that long that we were witnessing Greta fight for Global warming. Now we're following some of her advises without even realizing.

The magnitude at which all this is happening and what it affects, it's huge. Absolutely huge. Think of all the factories that are pausing for some time, all the cars that aren't traveling the roads daily, the many airplanes that stay on the ground, the less waste that will be created due to so many people staying in, and so many businesses closed.

All this is like a break that Earth is taking. I can almost imagine Earth trying to calm its heart beats and taking a deep breath, and when is ready, welcoming us back with a smile on its face and an incredible soothing light and warmth.

Everything that is happening right now is a tragedy. So many lives lost, so much panic, lost jobs, the need to isolate, and the difficulties and solitude that comes with it ... everything is a tragedy. I just hope we get through it as soon as possible, and that we come out of it stronger, united and with grater compassion and understanding for one another and for this Planet.

Let's all meet with love, hope and faith when all this is over. Stay safe  ❤🙏



Photo credit: Myriam Zilles from Pixabay

 

 

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Hating Everyone Who's Happy When You're Unhappy

As crazy as this title might sound, it is true. And I have experienced it first hand.

I was never the person to hate someone else's happiness. I was actually the one who applauded them, and looked at people who were happy and in love, with admiration, and wanting the same for myself. That was, of course, until I understood that appearances can be deceiving and some people might look happy and in love while they are in public, but feel and act totally different when they are in the privacy of their own home. So, I have learned to appreciate the happiness and love they are displaying, but to wish for the happiness and love that is suited to my wants and needs.

As you all know, I am going through a separation from my husband. And that messed with my head, heart and emotions big time. You don't usually pay attention to the couples around you, when you are in a relationship, but when yours ends, it's like all you can see around you are happy, in love people. And it's impossible to don't get on your nerves. And yes, I do know what I am saying, and it is normal.

They even seem to you more happier than they truly are. They seem to kiss with passion, hold hands tighter, laugh louder, they seem to be looking with more love at one another. And all you want to do is scream "it's not real ... you're happiness is making me angry, because it reminds me of everything I don't have anymore, and all the things that I miss".

But then I stop in my head, and I realize that they're not at fault that my marriage didn't work. It's not their fault that I am unhappy now, crying for all the things that I've lost and miss. They might have their own problems, and for a moment, this moment that I am witnessing, they are happy. And they deserve to be happy. So I look at them, and I say in my mind "I am happy for you. I wish you two are very happy together, and I wish some day I will find the person who will bring sparks in my eyes, and love in my heart, and we love each other enough to not hold ourselves from kissing and hugging in public".

When I do this, I understand that their happiness isn't taking away mine. It could never do that. So, I truly wish them all the well and as much happiness as possible. And you know what? My heart doesn't feel that heavy anymore. And I don't feel that bad anymore. That changes me a little, and it pushes away the pain I feel in my heart. And, sometimes, I even start smiling after, and I feel like I am able to talk to people without crumbling down.

So, be good to others when they expose their happiness and love, while you are probably going through hell and back. It is not their fault. And they have the right to be happy, and to show it. Others might have passed by you when you were happy and in love, and showing it. Be nice with their happiness and love. It will do you good. It really will.



Photo credit: pixabay


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