Where Are You All Going?

 

 

Where are you all going,

moving so fast,

while it feels like I'm struggling,

and I am left behind?

How do you all know your purpose,

running to it so fast,

while I'm using the flashlight

to see a road that seems dark?

I feel like I'm in a dream, running

but I can't open my eyes,

like I'm trying to scream,

but no sound is coming out.

Where are you all running so fast,

knowing exactly where you're meant to go,

while I'm barely seeing the light,

and the road seems to just keep going on?

 

 

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Feeling Stuck in a Place

Isn't that just maddening? 

Wondering what are you supposed to be doing,

and who are you supposed to be,

and when are you going to get there? 

Are you supposed to stay, or leave? 

 

You lack the courage to leave 

and fear is getting the best of you, 

and yet you're dying bit by bit 

with every other day that's passing you! 

You feel it gutting you, and you get so mad, 

you wished you had the courage to leave,

to run out of this crazy loop,

to build a new life,

and make it as happy as you see it in your mind.

 

You cry alone in your room, 

or next to them while lying awake,

wishing you had the courage,

to take that leap of faith.

You start to understand yourself, 

and to show some compassion,

you know it's not easy,

and that failing before only

makes this attempt seem even harder.

 

It's not just a trip,

it's deciding your future,

and the heaviness of what that brings

makes you move in confusion.

Sometimes you feel like you're outside,

looking in at your actions,

you'd like to tell yourself to slow down

that you'll be fine regardless.

You can't see it now,

because you're just so confused:

"Where's the road I'm walking on?

Where should I go? I don't know!"

I don't understand

how everyone seem to have it all figured out,

while I'm here planning my next breath,

wishing it won't be my last.

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The Right Decision is NOT Easy

Doing the right thing, taking the right decision, going on the right path is NOT easy.

- A family waited, prayed and fought for years to move to another town with better job possibilities - on the week of the move their hearts were heavy looking at the house they built there, at the lives they built there, and saying goodbye to family, dear people, and the house that was "home" for so many years. 

- A girl waited almost two years to move with her future husband - she couldn't wait to live her life next to him - on the night before the move, she stayed awake crying and looking at all the spots and things in her room that she would never see in the same way - the bed she will never sleep in again, the window on which she will never see the stars anymore, or the other apartment building filed with friends she grew up with

- A woman wished and prayed so much for a better chance on her job which implied moving to another country - when the moment came to make the arrangements she found herself paralyzed with fear, confused and frustrated because she still wanted to make the move, and she couldn't understand where the fear was coming from.

Just because you are doing what is best for you, for your family, for your career, for your future, it DOESN'T mean that it's easy! Fill your heart with hope and your mind with beautiful images of what's to come. Make it as you want it to be - it is your mind creating it, create whatever makes you happy.

Your brain fears the unknown, and since the unknown usually means danger, because you don't know what's coming, your body and mind are trying to keep you safe and make you fearful, so that you choose not to make the move into the unknown. 

But, studies showed that, since your mind doesn't know the difference between real and imaginary, if you imagine how things will go after you make the move, and you imagine them as happy and as beautiful as you want to, your mind will fight you less and less, because they think the step has been taken and things are actually good.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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How To Know if You Love Them!

 

When you have trauma around love, how you receive it, or better said, how you did not receive it and you need it, you will look for it later in life, especially in the partner/s you will have. So, if, for example, you're a woman and you are looking for a male partner, every man that gives you attention, looks at you as if they like you, they basically interact with you as if they are in love with you - sometimes that is what you see, when in fact they just might like you or find you attractive, or see you as a friend and pay attention to you as a friend - you will immediately fall in love with them creating a whole dependency story. 

So, if you are one of those people who have a trauma surrounding love, how do you know if you are really in love with them, or if that is just your trauma response? 

First of all, take a moment and think about it, ask yourself a few questions:

      Do you truly like them?

            - think about them, see them in your mind, look at them carefully in your mind, do you really                  like them? Analyze them really well in your mind.

     What do you like about them?

            - their face? their body? is there anything that you really like about them?

     How do they behave around you?

            - think of it subjectively, how do they behave around you? Do they behave like everyone else,                  and it's just your mind creating the love story there? Do they behave like someone who truly                  likes you and wants to be around you? Do they behave like someone who wants to get that one               thing and that's it? What is it?

     What is your intuition telling you?

            - when you think about them, how do you feel? Do you feel like you're in a nice, warm, light                  energy, or do you feel anxious and uncomfortable, or heavy? 

      Do you see a future?

            - when you think about them, do you see a future with this person? Do you see each other living               together, getting married maybe? are they in your future?

Trauma around love it's not easy, because it messes up with our minds. And you end up suffering in the present just as much as in the past, when it happened. Because you tend to chase people who you think are in love with you, or that you think you're in love with, just to experience that feeling that you lacked. 

One of the ways you can heal that part and recognize better if it is love or you think it's love, is to think back into your past, when it happened, how were you neglected, who neglected you, and heal those parts, so you can heal your present too. And take some time away from relationships, either looking for one or being in one, while you're healing that part. 

When you have trauma around love and you try to find that love in everyone who's giving you attention, you not only hurt yourself, but you can also hurt the other person. If they are actually being a friend and caring about you as a friend, and they are nice to you because of that aspect, but you interpret that as love from their part, and you get attached and start pursuing them or giving them signs that you like/love them, they might end up falling in love with you. And that is bad if you don't actually love them, and one day you realize that and you want to end everything. 

Stepping back and analyzing what is going on, seeing if you really like them or not, it's beneficial for both of you. And you don't get caught up in that loop where you feel like you keep being rejected, which fuels your love trauma even more. 

 

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Love is Not Linear

Love is not linear. And it's not supposed to be. Love has ups and down, good days and bad days. You fight now, you make up later. There's an actor talking about how his therapist told him that he shouldn't want his life to be the same all the time, even if that means only good moments. Because that is like having a flat line in an EKG. And that would mean that you're actually dead. But, the line in an EKG moves up and down, it's never flat. 

People always look for that constant in the relationship. They want everything to go so well and so wonderful, to never fight at all, have no disagreement about anything, and just be in a happy and blissful state all the time. But, tell me honestly, wouldn't that be the most boring thing you could ever experience in your life? What kind of love is that? What kind of life? If all you do is constantly be in a state where nothing ever goes anything other than good? 

The objective is not to never fight or to never have a disagreement. The objective is to learn how to deal with that when it happens. Don't be afraid to have bad days or problems, but just know that the problem is the problem, and not the other person. You are trying to find a solution to the problem, not to find someone to blame for it. 

It is ok to fight from time to time. It shouldn't be all the time, of course. In this case the relationship is obviously not working. But fighting from time to time, or disagreeing, you learn things about each other. You learn where the other persons' limit is and not to cross it. What is acceptable and what not. 

Love isn't just rainbows and sunshine all the time. It's all the wonderful, imperfect moments in between where you discover each other, and you learn how to treat each other. Love isn't perfect. And that's ok, because we're not perfect either, so love is not meant to be perfect. You don't want a flat line. You want ups and downs, and adventure. You want a chance to see that it is filled with beauty even if it's not perfect all the time.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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There is No Perfect Partner

There is no perfect partner. Everyone fantasizes of this perfect partner where they are just everything you could possibly imagine right in a relationship - by your standards. You put in them everything you've gathered up in all the romantic movies and expect that. 

Movies are great, and they are a really beautiful model for love, but people tend to not notice or remember the struggles that the characters are going through before getting to that moment when they realize that they love each other deeply. And, in movies, they accept each other as they are. They talk about the quirkiness that the other person has as if they are talking about some amazing quality in them. Because it is a quality. It is what they love in that person, and that quirkiness is never about something perfect, but about something imperfect that they do.

We pray to find someone so perfect, someone that will accept us as we are, with everything that we are and have. And, yet, we want them to be perfect. We think of ways they could be and think "I don't want that in them", "I don't want them to be this or that, like this or like that". But, why? We want them to accept us and love us as we are. 

I know it's not easy. It's not. We want someone perfect. But, maybe when we pray for someone to accept us and love us as we are, we should also pray for us to be able to accept them and love them as they are. For both of us to give each other the space and acceptance to not be perfect, to have problems, and to work on those problems, together or individually. To pray for someone who says "I know I'm like that, but I'm working on changing that" rather than someone who says "that's just how I am". 

I pray for someone who accepts me and loves me with all my quirkiness and imperfections, with all the faults and all the beautiful things I see and find in myself. And I pray for me to accept and love them with all their quirkiness and imperfections, with all the faults and beautiful things that they see and find in themselves. I pray that when we have a problem, we work through it, and that we love each other and do the right thing for one another even when we are mad at each other. Because if you are mad at me, but you still kill that spider because you know I fear it, I will love you so much, because I'll know that you are mad because of the situation, but you still love me. 

Don't strive for perfection. We are not perfect either. No one is. And we all want the same thing. We want someone to love us just as we are, and to allow us a safe space to be ourselves. Pray so that you both offer one other that love and acceptance and safe place.

 

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Social Media is Not the Reality!

 

Needless to say it, that social media is not the reality. But, yet, we tend to find ourselves trapped int he illusion that it is. We forget that we might be doing it too: smiling for the camera when we are sad, pretend to be happy when we are suffering, acting rich when broke, and so on. And even if we do it too, and we know it's not how we really feel in that moment, we forget all logic when we see a post from someone who seem to be living their best life. We look at them and they seem to have it all together, all figured it out, while we can't seem to find our way in the world. 

It's not true. It's not the reality. We know it! We should stop suffering and putting pressure on ourselves to be this perfect human being. No one is. No one.Someone told me once that if we would be perfect, we would be up in Heaven, being an angel. While we're here on Earth, we're not perfect-perfect. We're well and not so well, we have good days and bad days, we have days when we're so happy that our hearts bursts with joy and we feel like we're flying, and we have days that we feel so down that it feels like there's no where lower we can go. We have messy moments, and put-together moments. We are brave and we are scared. We love and we fall out of love. We are kind and we are mean. We feel like conquering the world, and we feel as lazy as can be. We are all that. We are never just one thing. We are humans. And aren't we beautiful? 

Don't we look back over time in awe of how wonderful we were in those imperfect moments, and how everything worked out so beautifully? We rarely look at our moments when we were "perfect" and laugh or smile. We usually do that when we think about the moments when we messed up and yet everything turned out amazing. 

I see the word "perfect" as something different now. We are perfect just as we are, because if everyone on this Earth is imperfect, in this case, being imperfect means that we are actually perfect. We are just like everyone else, but each with their own struggles, challenges and way of seeing life and acting upon it. 

So you are perfect! :) 

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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You Don't Owe It To Anyone!

 

I can not stress this enough: you do not owe anyone anything! Not your ancestors, not your parents, not your family, not your future children ... to no one! Everything you do, you do for yourself! That's it! That's all! There is no one else but you and who you want to be. 

I am seeing every day posts like "you owe it to your ancestors", "you owe it to your children", you owe it to that person, and that person. You do not owe anyone anything, and I would really like this pressure of owing something to someone be taken away from people. Don't you go through enough? Isn't it as hard as it is to keep going and heal and make yourself better, trying to be happier and understand life better? Isn't that enough? Why would you add more pressure saying that you owe something to someone else?

If you are not happy with how your life is, where you are, how you move, what you do ... than change! Do that for you, because you want better and you are the only person in this world that can give that to yourself. If you are not disciplined, there's not someone from outside that can come and give you that. You decide that you had enough and that you want to change. You don't want to wake up every day in the same situation. Day, after day, after day. And so, you change. Because you want something different and you know that if you want different results, it takes different actions. If you've always done the same thing and you got the same results, it's obvious for you that you have to move differently to get different. 

That's it! That is all, sweet, wonderful you! 

You do not change for your ancestors. They want you to be happy, for you! Your children will be happy if they see you happy. If you come home every day and they see you smiling, they feel you at peace, and they learn that you can have a bad day, bad emotions, be sad, fall down, fail, but that you try to make it better, and that is what they learn, that is what they take with them in life, growing up, the attitude and the perspective over life that they see in you, their parents. But you don't owe them the change, you do it for yourself, because you want to be happy and to not let things break you when they happen, but to get to the point where you feel sadness, but you come out of it faster. And who wouldn't want to feel better faster? 

So, don't put any more pressure on yourself. Make changes for you, because you want different! And be happy. You deserve to be happy.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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You Can't Heal Everyone!

 

 

We're  not here to heal everyone. We can't even do that to be honest. We are here to learn, to grow and to do better next time. And I know this sounds cliche and maybe a little annoying as well, especially when you're going through a though time and all you hear is how you're suppose to see the good in every situation and the lesson, but it is like that in a way.

We do suffer, and we have the right to suffer. And not only the right, but the only way to process what happened and learn from it is by going through it and feeling it. 

But, coming back to what we were talking about, we tend to believe that we can heal everyone, and the truth is that we can't. There are teachers sent into this world to heal through various methods like doctors, and homeopaths, spiritual guiders, priests, preachers, or to heal by word, through art, or on an individual level when you tell someone your problems and they give you a great advice, or a shoulder to cry on and you feel at peace afterwards. 

Even teachers who heal collectively can't heal everyone. Because people find that specific teacher when he's ready to listen. Have you noticed how you can tell someone a solution to their problem and they just don't see it, and they fight you saying it's not possible, and then one day they just do what you've always said and the problem goes away. And they are amazed how come you never suggested that before, and you're surprised? That is because they genuinely didn't hear you before. They weren't seeing it. It made no sense to them because they weren't ready for it. 

The same happens with people like me who write on blogs and on social media teaching people how to process things and move through them easier, or how to understand different points of view, or what certain things mean and explain it to them. We are putting it out there and when a certain person is ready for that knowledge, they see it in a whole different light and it makes total sense to them, even if they've read that before tens of times.

You can listen to a guide telling you about the laws and how they work and it sounds like gibberish to you. They make no sense. Yet you see people in the comment section saying "oh, yes! thank you! you're so right!" and you're thinking "what are they talking about? this message made no sense!". Actually it did, you just weren't there yet. You weren't ready to understand it.

This is why you can't heal everyone, especially on an individual level. Because people hear it when they are ready to hear it. 

I have spent years thinking that I'm not normal, that I'm different, and a freak. And then one day everything just clicked. After years of searching, reading, questioning, soul searching, getting closer and closer to God, connecting with the universe, connecting all the information, I started to understand it differently, to see it differently. But I was ready for it. 

It's in us to try to heal people, to share the knowledge we have to help others, and that is such a beautiful gift and desire to have, but don't take it personally when people aren't hearing you. It's just not their time yet. It will click in them at some point. And if it doesn't, then that's their road in life and that is a whole other discussion.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Nobody Owes You Anything!

 

 

Nobody owes you anything! And the fastest you learn that, the fastest you stop having false expectations from people and feeling hurt when they don't deliver.

I keep seeing posts saying that people don't have your soul, they are not as good as you, they don't reciprocate your goodness, and that is not 100% true. People are people, just as you are. Do you help every single person that is or comes into your life? You don't!

Maybe some even helped you at some point, but they might ask something from you that you can't deliver, or you are really in a situation where you can't help them with what they need. Does that make you a bad person? It does in their eyes, because from their point of view, they helped you, and now you're turning your back to them. So you are the ungrateful, bad person.

But you're not like that. You just can't help them now, or with that specific problem. This doesn't make you a bad person.

Plus that you can help someone every day of their life, and if one time you just can't do it, they will remember and remind you about that one time, forgetting all about the 3276 times you did help them. This is how people are. And it's not because people are bad, but because people are wired to see the negative, so we can stay alive.

The best explanation for why people see the negative is with the cave, back in history when people were living in caves and no one was waking up calm and relaxed thinking they'll go and watch the sunshine, but rather they would wake up thinking about the dangers that could be lurking: snakes, pray animals, rocks falling down, not finding food, and so on. 

So, when you help someone, but they can't help you back,maybe take a moment to show them some understanding as well, because maybe they genuinely can't help you with that specific thing, but they might help you with something else in the future.

If that person never helps you with anything, then yes, maybe you should start thinking that they are just a taker and never a giver, and you should look for other friends. But if they do help you when they can and with what is possible for them, maybe we can stop expecting them to be this perfect support 100% of the time. Just like you, people have their own lives too. They have problems, bad days, dreams they are chasing, lives they are trying to live. Let's be a bit more understanding.

Again, if that person is never available, them maybe consider going towards other real friends, but if they help when they can and with what they can, then let's just give people a break from this idea that they have to be perfect and supporting us 100% of the time.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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How To Enjoy The Process

 

Sometimes is hard to enjoy the process. We tend to live in the future and see ourselves where we want to be and what we want to have, and when we don’t have that in our current reality, we get depressed. 

So many motivational speakers and posts on Social Media tell you to enjoy the process, the moment you’re in, and all you’re thinking about is how on earth can you enjoy where you’re at when you’re not even close to where you want to be? Or so it seems. Because you are so involved in what you want to get and where you want to be, that what you have now, and where you are now, only make you angry. 

But, take a moment. Just take a moment and look where you are and what you have. Really look. Not to judge, but just to see, to observe. Now think where you were two years ago and what you were wishing for back then. Do you have any of that now? If you don’t, then maybe you need to put aside the anger and judgement and just work on your discipline to get what you want. Get tired of your own BS and change. 

But, if you have the things you dreamed of two years ago, then you have been moving. You might not be where you want to be, but you’re not where you used to be either. And that should make you proud of yourself! 

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t want more or new achievements, but if you don’t enjoy what you’ve done so far, you’ll never enjoy where you get no matter how far you go. No achievement will make you happy. 

Enjoying the process doesn’t mean that you settle, or that you give up, it only means that you realize how far you’ve gone, you realize that you made things you’ve dreamed of making. You don’t stop, you move on grateful for what you have accomplished.

Where you want to be is a destination. That only lasts for a second, then you move on unto something new that you will desire. That is not the journey. And you should enjoy the journey because who you are today, the strength you have, the intellectual you’ve developed, the person you’ve grown into, all that came through taking the journey. You are who you are due to every step you took along the way. That is why you should enjoy the journey.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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The Only Way To Change

 

 

There is only one way that someone changes their behavior and traits, and that is if they want it so bad. No change done for someone else will ever last. When you get tired of living the same life, being unhappy, feeling miserable and sad all the time, and you feel that staying in that same situation will kill you, that is when you can change and will change.

I know people who gave up smoking, substance abuse, drinking, and a lot of other addictions, for someone else, for their spouse, lover, child, parents, and so on. The success rate is really low. That is because when you are doing it for someone else, it is not your choice. You're not doing that because you had enough of it, you are doing it because you feel pressured into it: if I don't do it, they will leave me, not love me, they will be disappointed, and so on. So, this only means that on top of the reason of why you're having that addiction, you're adding the stress of having to give it up in order to be loved, accepted, wanted. And that is why chances are that it can end up in fail. 

But when you can't take anymore how your life is, when you feel like waking up to the same disappointments, and lack of discipline, and the same chain of events every single day leave you breathless, that is when you change, and it lasts. Because the fear of  staying stuck in the same unhappiness every single moment of every single day becomes grater than the fear of moving and trying something new. 

We don't want to change. People's brain is designed to seek comfort. That is why you procrastinate as well, because you anticipate that it will take you out of your comfort zone, so your brain and body is fighting you on acting. But when the fear of living the same unbearable life every day is grater than the fear of moving, that is when you don't care anymore. Because in both situations, your brain fears death. Leaving your comfort zone is death in a way, it is the death of comfort. But when staying in the same situation means death, then there's nothing to lose by taking action. On the contrary, there is actually a chance you will feel alive again.

 

 

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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NEVER Ask For ... an Opinion!

 

Unless you plan to follow your own in the end!

 People are not there to decide for you. People are there to support you in your decisions, to be by your side, to love you and hold you when you need a hug, a shoulder to cry on. People are not there to decide for you, so please - and I am saying this with all the love - stop asking them to do so. Especially the ones who are so eager to do it that they aren't even waiting for you to ask them to. 

Every decision you take should be after you sat with yourself and asked yourself what you really want. I know you are so scared of making the wrong decision, but decisions are not good or bad, we just see them this way because we have an outcome in our mind and when that doesn't happen, we say that we made the wrong decision. But, if you look back at all the decisions you made and where you ended up, what road you're on right now, you'll realize that that decision took you here. So it wasn't a good or a bad decision, it was an option. You have options, and depending on what you choose, it leads you to one future or another.

You have no idea how the dots connect until you keep going and you look back years later and you realize that choosing that particular thing at that point was what you needed then, and you've been through the things you needed at that time. 

Whatever is happening right now, it's what it needs to happen right now. So, if you choose to stay, then you needed to stay. If you choose to leave, then you needed to leave. You're not right or wrong, you just made a decision based on where you needed to be in that moment. 

People can't take a decision based on what you're telling them about your situation. So many people told me "I would never... do this or that, agree to this or that" well, guess what, they did, and they did or agreed plenty more and plenty worse than what I was going through at that moment. And their reaction was "my situation is different". Of course it is, it's you who's in the midst of everything right now, and you have to make a decision based on your needs, fears, your survival instinct. It will always be different when you are the one it's happening to. 

You are the only one who can decided because you are the only one feeling those feelings and knowing the backstory in your heart and mind. The people you tell the story to, they are on the outside. They can imagine what it might feel like, but they can't fully experience the feelings, the day to day living in that story. So, they will give you an option based on their imaginary view over the situation. It's not the same as going through it and experiencing that feeling inside of you.

Decided, but leave others out of it. Listen only if you end up doing the way you felt you should do, and not what they told you to do.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Work to Build a Relationship NOT to Keep a Relationship!

 

 

Work to build a relationship NOT to keep a relationship! 

A relationship requires you two to come together and create a space where you both feel comfortable, wanted, loved, appreciated, safe, and many other things. It is the place where you both grow and support each other while you grow. Where you solve problems without pointing fingers trying to see who created the problem or who's fault is it. 

A relationship should be the place where you can be you, your authentic self, where you express your needs and you want the other person to meet those needs, to respect them and your boundaries. But, you should also give the other person the same space and environment for them to have their needs met and respected, so they can feel safe and wanted and at peace with you in the relationship.

So, in the first case, when you come as yourself and you give space for the other person to come as themselves, you work in a relationship to build it. You give and you get. It's an exchange between the two of you, you work together, because relationships require work as well. Yes, it should feel like it's flowing, like you're not fighting to make it work all the time, but, in the end, you are two people who come together with baggage and traumas and habits that you have created through your life until that point, and you come together to live in the same space and you need to adapt to that. So now, you are working in a relationship, to build it and make it stronger, better, thriving.

If you are working to keep a relationship, then it means that things are not working. 

If all you do is make yourself small, quiet yourself, if you do everything you can to make things work between the two of you, then that is not a relationship. That is not the environment that you want to be in. If all it feel like is a struggle to make things work, then things are not working. Stop holding unto that relationship because you are just keeping beautiful things from coming into your life. You could have a beautiful relationship with someone else, but if you keep fighting to keep the relationship that is not working, you don't have the space so that what is for you to come in.

Think of it this way, if you are in a relationship that is not working, and you meet someone that you like, you like how they think, how they act, what they say and they resonates with you, you will keep that person at a safe distance because you already have someone and engaging in any activity with them means that you are cheating. So, by holding unto what is not working, what is actually for you can't enter, because you're not even allowing it to come close to you.

Now, as I was saying, you do not have to like every single thing about the other person and agree on everything in order for them to be the safe, good relationship that you need. Being a bit different, having small arguments, these are actually good for your relationship. If every little thing is perfect, you never disagree on anything, you are all rainbows and sunshine, you will get bored. Humans need a bit of adrenaline in their life. Men need to "hunt" and women need to be "hunted". Just because a relationship flows it doesn't mean that it's boring. It only means that no matter what comes at you, you can work it out, and you both work together in the relationship to be yourselves and to allow the other person to be themselves.

So, work in a relationship not for a relationship. Work to build a relationship not to keep a relationship.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Write!

 

Whenever you feel overwhelmed with emotions, start writing. This is your body's way of telling you that your brain is thinking way too much about some things that you usually can't control, and its affecting your body. You feel it too. your heart is beating faster, your blood is rushing through your veins, you get headaches or you get dizzy, you feel nausea, you start having panic attacks and anxiety attacks. That usually mean that you are thinking of things that happened and you don't like the outcome but you can't change it, or that you're thinking about things that haven't happened yet but that you would like to control the outcome, because you fear it going a certain way.

Sit down, take a piece of paper and a pen, or your laptop and open a word document, and start writing. Write everything you're feeling. Everything that you can't change, everything that's coming and you can't control, everything you're fearing. Just write! Write it all out! It will calm your mind, body and emotions.

If you can't sleep and you have all these thoughts playing on repeat, write them down. Once they are out of your mind and unto the paper, your brain will see this as "OK, I'll handle these later because I've put them down on paper and I know that now they are there". 

Part of solving a problem is putting it down on paper. When you have it there, your perspective over it changes. You start seeing it differently, and you start seeing options that you weren't seeing before. Because when you have it down on the paper and out of your mind, it feels like you are detaching from it and you're watching it from the outside, you're no longer in the middle of it, and now you can look at it without the same overwhelming emotions that you had when you were right in the middle of it.

So, just write. Whatever is bothering you right now, whatever you feel in your body, making you want to cry, or run, or leave it all behind, just write it down. Release your soul from that pressure. You will feel so much lighter.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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Never Use Reverse Psychology! - Here is Why

People tend to use reverse psychology thinking that this will motivate the other person to achieve their goals, to not give up, to keep pushing. But, the truth is, that it does NOT help in any way! It actually does more harm than good. 

Humans have a negative talk with themselves internally every single day. You keep telling yourself how bad you are, how unworthy you are, how you're not enough, how you can't do it, how you're the only one who doesn't know how to do anything or who can't do anything, that you're the only one who can't cope with life and you feel like everyone else has it all figured it out and doing this "living" thing and it feels like you're on the outside looking in, and you can't be involved in the secrets they have to make it work.

When someone comes and tells you that you can't do something, trying to motivate you, to make you prove them wrong, you activate yourself. You get angry, you feel motivated to show them the opposite, you start fighting and you start doing the thing. Now, you might think that it worked, so why am I saying that it's not working? Because it's not!

It will work for a very short period of time and then you fail. Why? Because you already have the negative talking telling yourself that you can't do it, so when it becomes hard to keep on pushing, on top of hearing your own thoughts saying that you can't, you will take the other person's reverse psychology that they used on you to motivate you and you will use that as a confirmation that you really can't do it. 

In your mind, it will no longer be the idea of "they said that to motivate me" it will be the idea of "they were actually telling me the truth disguised as reverse psychology". 

People need encouragement to pull it through!! -- Please read that again! -- People need encouragement to pull it through!!

No question about it!

When you hit rock bottom and it's hard to carry on, hearing their words saying "you can do it, I have complete faith in you that even if it's hard, you will be able to pull through and you will find a way", it will make you keep on fighting. And when you feel like you can't fight anymore, you will call the one who supported you and empowered you to get a dose of power to keep on fighting. You won't call the one who said that you can't do it.

Another reason why reverse psychology doesn't work and you should not do it, especially on your children, is because it gets you so far. You might make it for a while, but if you have to keep on pushing, to get to where you want to be, encouragement words will get you way further than discouragement words will. You get tired and only good words keep you want to fight.

Plus, using it on your children will only create trauma in them. When it is hard and they can't keep on pushing and they fail or they give up, they will hear your words saying that they're not good enough, and they will grow up with that. Because bad words stick! And they will become the adults who don't start out things because they already know they will fail.

 Think about when you were a child, when you had a teacher telling you that you CAN do something, you still remember that teacher, right? You still feel that motivation, years later! How do you feel towards the teacher who told you that you CAN'T? How do you think of them? What feeling do you have when you think of them? This is proof that good words of encouragement work a million times better than bad words used in reverse psychology.

Be mindful of how you talk to yourself and with others! Good words will always help you way more than bad words, and it will take you much further in your achievements. Choose the good speech! Always!

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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How to Trust the Journey

 

I am trying as hard as I can to trust the road that I'm walking, to trust God and everything He has in store for me. But, it's not always easy. And not because we don't trust or love God, but because we get discouraged. We get thoughts that make us doubt and we start thinking what if it won't work, what if it's all in my mind? 

Sometimes I feel this pain and sadness in my chest, in my heart, and I don't really know how to stop it. I can go from being so fine and feeling well, to feeling pain and sadness, and sometimes it is without a cause and that is when I lose myself. If something happens and I feel this way, then I know, it's because of that. But, when nothing happens ... where is it from?

Something always happens, we just forget. I had a fight with someone. I was fine afterwards. I didn't hate them or anything, I just felt like I should be respected and appreciated more, but I didn't say anything else about it except that I hope that's the last time it ever happens, and I really meant it, but then I moved on. I had some projects that I focused on, and everything seemed to flow so well and beautifully. We were on a "speak what's essential" kind of base, but, I was fine. 

Then I wake up this morning and I feel a bit down, although lately I went to bed earlier and I reduced my time on the phone before bed dramatically, keeping it around 15-20 minutes tops. 

I woke up and I carried on with my routine. At some point during the day, this sadness and pain hit me. My eyes teared up and I couldn't make sense of why was this happening? I was fine. No one upset me, I didn't have a fight with anyone, nothing bad happened, so, why was this happening? 

So, I started writing, and as I did, I realized that I had a fight with this person the other days, we're on the "speak what's needed" basis, and that's the problem. Not that we're not speaking, but, that I want more. I want a happier life. I deserve to be happy. And so does this person. Then I think about all the ways in which we're connected and I want us to go on separate ways, but I am fearful of if we'll be successful or not.This can apply to a business, friendship or romantic relationship. When we invest a lot of time and feelings into something, it's hard to let go and move on, and you do think about what if you won't succeed? 

This is when you have to let God lead you and lead the way and you have to trust Him. And, when you try to be in control for so long, it's not that easy to surrender. You don't really know how to do it. You fall of the wagon and then get back on. While you're managing to let God lead you find yourself peaceful, everything flows, you're happy and things just align and happen for you and you're in awe. 

And when you fell off the wagon you find yourself sad and in pain and struggling. 

Why is it so hard to trust God to lead us and our way? We trust the bus driver, we trust the airplane pilot. We trust someone driving the car we get into. Is it because we've never met God? But, haven't we? Because every time we're surrendering to Him and let Him lead, we're happy. Do we really not trust Him? Do we really need to see Him face to face to believe?

I can't explain how to trust God, and I don't know how to tell you to do it. All I know is that when I let Him lead I was always fine, I was at peace, and all the good things, experiences, opportunities and people flow in my life, everything aligns. All I can do is ask God to love me and have patience with me and guide me with love and gentleness to go the way He wants me to, so I can be well and happy and have a wonderful life.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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How to Listen to Your Intuition

 

One of the most precious things that you could have is your intuition. That compass inside of you that tell you what is right and what's not, what's for you and what to stay away from. We all have it., we just don't listen to it as much as we should.

Intuition is that feeling that you get when you want to do something. If you are supposed to do that action, say that thing, go in that direction, you'll get that light, happy feeling that this is right. If you're not supposed to do it, you'll get that feeling that is plain telling you "don't do it". 

Why don't we listen to it? Because we think it won't be the end if the world if you do send that message, go to that place, make a right instead of a left, linger on the couch 5 minutes extra even if you feel like you should get up right that moment - and later on you miss the bus and you end up 20 minutes later to the meeting, lose the project, or maybe have to work harder to get it. That's your intuition that you choose to listen to, or not.

I recently had that. Something came into my life and although all of me was telling me to stay away, to stop any contact with it - perusing it, giving attention to it - I ignored it. I did so because my heart needed the thing that it was offering me. But, my intuition always knows best. 

You could be in that situation, and it doesn't mean that the opportunity is not good, or the situation is bad or that the person is bad - if there's a person, because it can also be a person - it only means that those things are not meant for you then, or they are not meant to go any further than they have. Maybe something better is for you. Maybe you and the situation or person or opportunity, have to grow and change and become something more, better. Or, it could mean that all you had, is all you were supposed to have. Just that.

Whatever it is that your intuition is telling you NO! to, listen to it. Whatever it is. It is guarding you from things that you had no idea you needed to be guarded from.

 

 

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How to Ask Yourself The Questions to Get Answers

 

 

Feeling lost and confused. Sometimes is not about getting rid of the pain, about finding the way out, running through it so fast to escape it. Sometimes it's just about letting it be. Going through it. Feeling it. Letting it take over. Cry over it. Hope over it. Looking for the answers, by asking the questions.

"Why am I this way?" "What is this pain trying to tell me?" "What is this experience trying to teach me?" "Why is this (still) affecting me?"

There are so many questions you can ask yourself during those moments, and then just wait for the answer. you'll know what it is. You'll hear it inside you. It won't be you giving those answers. How I know that? Because you'll feel like a claw inside you when what you're hearing is not true, is not for you, but coming from you.

What's for you will always feel light. Even if it's hard, or if it's something that you don't want to hear, it will still feel light. Sad, maybe, but light.

My heart is aching. I wish I could make it go away. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and see that I in that place that I want to be in. The place I long for and I dream of and I pray for. That I have the life I want, the money I desire, the love I am searching for, the freedom I need, that I can breath freely and I feel alive, after a long time of feeling lost. 

What is this trying to teach me? - I need to focus better. I need to let distractions go. I need to focus on my ride. That's what I've prayed for and that's what's important now.

I've asked the questions and I found the distraction. I've found out that by holding unto the thing I wanted, I'm blocking the thing meant for me. 

It's not easy, because the thing I want is the love my heart needs, so letting go is not easy. But, this is just a little part compared to the love that I will receive if I surrender and let go. I release you and I release myself. Our happiness is someplace else, in opposite directions, with different people. Thank you for pushing me, and for giving me that nudge that I needed. I think that is what you were meant to do in my life. I think I brought something in yours too. I don't know what that was. But, thank you. I let you go now, and I release myself as well.

I see myself in my new life. I am so bright and beautiful. So much light showers me and comes out of me, around me. It's everywhere. I am happy. I am so at peace. Things are finally going well. Projects that I love are pouring into my life and I love working in them. Wow I am so bright! I am so happy to start my new life! I look forward with so much joy to start my new life! I am so at peace! Thank you God!

Just ask yourself the questions. You will get answers. If not at first, try again later. But, you will get them. It doesn't have to be the questions I wrote, choose some that fit your situation and what you want to know. Then, listen. You'll either see images, or hear thoughts. You will know the truth from the light, because the truth is always light, and the lie is always heavy.

Trust yourself and your intuition. You got this!

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You're Searching For Love Because You've Been Hurt

 

When you have been long enough in an environment where you haven't received loved, you haven't felt loved, or you felt like you had to earn it, work for it, pay for it, that is when you start looking for love in everyone around you.

When someone pays attention to you, when they show interest in you, when they do something nice or when they compliment you, or say that they like you, your heart and mind reacts to that instantly. Because you are getting what you've been craving for and you haven't received in so long. 

Unfortunately, sometimes you can't even tell the difference between what you actually want, if that person is actually someone you would like to be with, if you like them, or if you see yourself with them, because you start feeling this pull and need to create that life and connection with them in your mind. You feel loved and that is all your soul wants. 

That is in no way to blame. But, you do have to do all you can, gather all your strength and ask God for help and guidance to discern whether that person really is for you, or your mind is creating that bond because you crave it. 

You can replace God with Universe, or whatever else you call God. I call God, God, you might call it something else. Use what is good for you.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to choose. And no matter how nice someone is to you and how much you need that what they give you in that moment, they may not be what you actually need. They may night be for you in the long run. And that is OK. And it doesn't mean that you won't meet someone else, or that you'll lose your only chance to be loved. It doesn't. I know it's hard to believe that when you want so much for that to work, but you will meet the person who is for you! Or the situation, job, opportunity, that is for you.

If your body is giving you the vibe that you should stay away from them, like something is not quite right, then you should listen to it. Maybe they are not right for you in that particular moment. Maybe God is making you meet just to see a glimpse of what you're going to get when you are both ready to have a beautiful commitment together. Maybe it's showing you that you still can, and that you will receive even better than that. 

Keep your faith! You are loved! You deserve love! You will get another love in your life that will resonate with you in ways you never though of. It will feel so perfect, so at peace, so right, so perfect, so beautiful and wonderful and natural that you will know. Your body will know. Your mind, spirit and soul will know. This is the right thing!

So, keep your faith! You are loved! You deserve love! You will get the love you need!

 

 

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How To Get Yourself Out Of A Bad Mood

 

Judging the "Gurus" and Realizing the Problem

I used to think that all those "gurus" so to call them, preaching about how beautiful and perfect life is and about how they overcome the hardships, I used to think that they were supposed to  be perfect. They were never to feel bad ever again, because they found the secret. They hold the Holy Grail. 

But, what I did forget was that they are people too, and that they too go through bad stuff, and they fall back into their dark places once in a while, and that is normal. I had to understand that going through bad stuff and learning how to get through it and pull yourself out, it doesn't mean that you're never going to fall back into it again. It only means that you will have the tools to pull yourself faster out of it. Or, to at least acknowledge that you are in it and you can act on getting yourself out of it.

I have worked on myself for a long number of years and, in the beginning I thought I will never be sad or depressed or just in a bad mood again, and when I found myself spiraling down I felt confused and mad at the same time. I mean, I knew better now, I've learned more and I knew myself better, why was I still having these bad moments?

But, then I realized that it's not about that. Now I know when I am in a bad mood. Now I know when something is off and when I am getting on that spiral. And, now I know better who I am, and what I need, and that there are techniques to feel better, and I know what works on me. And, where it doesn't work what I do know to apply, that is where I am looking for new ways to make myself feel better again.

And once you know to recognize that feeling of not feeling good anymore, like there's something off with you, you can't go back from that, and that is a great place to be in, because you don't just fall uncontrollably, you realize it, you recognize it, you know that you should take action to put yourself back on the right trajectory, and you do just that. 

Actual Ways to Pull Yourself out of a Bad Mood

I wasn't feeling so good today. My life is changing. I am going through some things that I don't know what the next step will be, if I'll continue with what I've started, or if I have to steer myself towards something else, and what that "something else" might be, if it will work or not, and so many other questions. So, I was feeling quite down. 

But I knew that something isn't right with me. I could feel myself spiraling, and I KNEW that I have to act on it. I kept telling myself that the thoughts I hear about me maybe not being good enough, or of the fear of failing - they are all a projection of me not feeling quite well. So, I had to push them away and take the power from them. You're just a thought. You're not real. This is happening because right now I don't know which way to go and you are a response of my mind who's afraid.

Then I said that I have to do something to shift the mind from fear and not knowing and uncertainty, to something that will make me feel good and ground me again. I met some friends and I told them that I'm not feeling well and that I just needed someone to help me take my mind off of this. We started talking about all sort of things and before I realized it, I was feeling better. I was engaged in the conversation and I wasn't thinking anymore about my fears and the decisions I had to make.

Then, I knew that a walk always helps. So, I did just that. I chose a park that I like and I took a walk through it. I have a water pond in it and birds that I was watching do their things and, once again, I was out of my mind again, and feeling better. The dogs and cats from the park also helped. Pet a dog and you'll shift immediately to a better feeling. It's like they are little sponges of bad energy, giving back such a wonderful feeling of peace and joy. - Joy, that's me :) 

Then I started thinking about the possibilities that this new thing can bring. Yes, I have to make a change, but, who's to say that it will be a bad one? Maybe it will bring so much happiness and joy (- me again :)  ) that it will turn out that this was the best thing ever. Maybe it will turn out that I don't actually have to give up what I started doing for good, but maybe for a while, or maybe it's just transforming and I'm coming back bigger and better than ever. Maybe this is adding something to me that will make me ever better at my job, at what I love to do. Or, maybe this is just meant to bring back the love in me for what I love to do, because lately I have forgotten that I love it, and that it was so fun.

It's just the Journey

I heard people say that it's not the destination, is the journey. It never is a destination. You're always moving towards something. You don't just set something and reach it and that's it. You keep moving, you keep evolving, your target keeps changing. You want new things. And that's good. You should do that. Otherwise, what happens when you reach it? You live like that for the rest of your life? 50+ years of doing the same thing day after day? You want a loving relationship for example, but when you have it, you don't just say "that's great, I'm happy" and you stop. You want a family next, marriage, a child or two, a better job, more money, a new adventure, a trip to where you've always wanted to go, and so on. There never is a destination, it's just a journey, and we forget to enjoy it because we're looking for the destination, but it never really comes, because it always changes. 

Embrace that. Accept that. Be happy that you set new goals and you're alive and you're walking towards something. Grow, live, enjoy! It's all for you. 

This new thing that is killing your brain right now because you have to decide on something that feels like life and death, that is just a part from your journey. There's no right or wrong answer, there's just which way you're turning now, left or right, you're going straight ahead, or going back a bit? 

Who's to say that this new thing that you're trying won't bring you so much and so much fulfillment that you've always hoped for?

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Are We Out of Time?

 

 

I always feel like I'm out of time. Like the world is moving and I'm just staying there. Like everyone is doing something and I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do, what my purpose is. They all seem to know. They all seem to have it all figured out. I'm the only one that's broken.

I feel like I'm always fighting, I'm always struggling, and it's like I'm in a deep valley and everyone else is up above. They all go so peaceful about it. They know how to live, how to work, how to make it work. And I'm down there fighting, agitated, like a car wheel that is stuck in sand and it turns but it doesn't go anywhere. 

I want to go somewhere. I want to make it. I want to be so peaceful, to have a plan and the plan to work and to live. Not just exist or fight, but live. I don't know how to do that. I just wish for someone to give me a hand and pull me up, and to install in me the knowledge to live in harmony. To install in me that peace of heart and mind that makes me constantly know that I am doing well, and that I will always have what I need to take care of myself. I just need a hand, and someone to install that program and override every other program that keeps me in scare and in the "I'll never make it", "I'm not good enough" programs. 

I just want out of these programs, and into one that lets me breath. That lets me relax knowing in every cell of my body that I will always have everything I need, that it always comes, and that I constantly have everything I need to live worry free.

I just need someone to pull me up and install these new programs, and to be relaxed, and live.

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

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