Bohemian Rhapsody - A Queen Masterpiece

I was watching Bohemian Rhapsody and emotions, words and feelings, were all running through my mind. My heart was laughing and my eyes were mesmerized by the perfect masterpiece I had in front of me. Because it was. It truly was a masterpiece. No words are too big, and no description is too much to express how perfect this movie was.

You see Freddie, as a young, somewhat shy boy, that knows exactly what his road is, and which way to take it. It seems like the events from his entire life lined up to get him on the path he should be. To be an innovator, to touch a whole world and change them through his energy. And he had plenty of that.

The merging between Freddie, Roger, Brian and Deacon, was a perfect alignment to give people Queen. And I am sure when I say that no other formula would have sounded that "so meant to be together". They were a family. In the real sense of the word. "Families fight sometimes" - but they still remain a family. You rarely see a group of people, a band, in which the members truly act like, and are a family, supporting, helping and caring about each other.

And his love for Mary. It reminded me of Gatsby and his Daisy, and how Freddie only put a few feet between his house and Mary's, while Jay had a bay between him and Daisy. And if the love for Daisy made Gatsby take reckless decisions which lead to his death, the love for Mary made Freddie come back into his own life and back on his path to greatness.

Rami Malek is Freddie! There would have been no better choice for this role, and as soon as I saw who is going to portray Freddie, I immediately knew he would be perfect not only due to looks, but due to his great acting, which absolutely shined in this movie. So convincing, such energy, and with so much charisma that he just made you want to get on your feet, sing and dance along with him, liberating yourself of any strings. Bravo Rami. Hat off to you.

"I am who I was meant to be". And so he is. And this is exactly what you should leave with from this movie.

Who are you meant to be? Be truthful. Look inside yourself. Did you find it?  Good!  Now be that! Because no one else will be a better you, than you are. Be YOU! And be perfect at it!


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Afraid to Say the Words

I have always tried to express my feelings here, just as I lived them. This was helping me, and I hopped it would also help others who were going through the same emotions, to identify them, to see they are not the only ones feeling and living them, that they are not alone, and that these emotions are normal. I have always been honest, and if I am sorry about something, is that I haven't written every time I was going through something, so that they all be here, and more people could identify with what they were experiencing.

Sometimes I just couldn't express myself, or I was too upset, or too happy to write about it, so I either chose that time to cry and relieve the tension, or go out and enjoy the great feeling I was living. Sometimes I didn't had the laptop with me, and writing on the phone is harder than you might think, when you are trying to explain in detail how you are feeling, why that is, and what the solution might be.

Even if I have always been honest, I do have to admit that I have chosen my words pretty careful when expressing my stories. There is that feeling when you think of a certain word, or words, to describe something an emotion, and you have that unsettling feeling that you should not express yourself through those words, and no matter how much you would try to shake them, writing them down makes you restless, and you erase them, and try to find the words that makes you feel at peace with your choice.

In my case, that happens because I feel inside that if I say certain words, my state will never diminish, it will stay there forever. You know that words are as important, if not more important, than actions. "Words can hurt more than a slap". Because words stay with you. You might forget the physical pain you felt when someone hit you, but there are more chances for you to remember how you felt when someone said something that hurt you.

Words are powerful. You can change your life just through words. Good or bad. If you say everyday to yourself that "you can", "you are happy", "you like your life", "you find solutions easy", "you are patient", in time, you will get in that place where you are actually happy, patient, you like your life, you solve problems easier, just because you programmed yourself this way. You won't be smiling all day long, and act like you have your head in the clouds all the time, but you won't take life that drastically anymore.

The same happen with bad words. If you find yourself saying in your mind often "how unhappy you are", "how bad everyone is treating you", "how so many bad things are happening to you", this is what you attract.

So you can imagine why I am reticent at using some words that will remain here for a long period of time. But I would like to learn how to become even more open, and say what I want to say without being afraid to use some words. To learn how to block the feeling that certain words might come back to bit me.

I hope I can continue to write for you, to talk about feelings, and you can see you are not the only one going through that, or experiencing that, to tell you all how I went through it and how I did it, what the solution was in my case, and maybe it will apply to your problem as well.

Remember that you are never alone, and that are always millions of other people who feel just as you do, and go through the same emotions as you, because no matter if you live in a mansion or in a humble house, if you have millions in your account or barely surviving, if you have hundred of friends or you can count them on one hand, everybody feels the same.



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I Miss You

I still remember you. I sense your smell sometimes, I see where you used to stay, I feel you so real when I think of you, holding you, and sometimes I feel like I can actually hear you. I never thought it will be that hard after you will leave. I have imagined the moment, because I knew it will come, but it was never the way I am feeling it now. The pain, the lost, the memories, the ache, the sadness, the wish to have you back, the memory of your face and the feeling of your touch. No matter how much I have envisioned, it was never this hard.

There were moments when I thought this is for the best, and it should happen and just be better, and I know this is what it had to happen, I understand the logic, the pain you were in, the love I had for you, for both of you, but now ... it just seams so empty.

Sometimes it is better. I emerge myself into work and I forget how much I miss you, and in those moments, I feel relieved. Not because I want to forget you, but because I get carried away, my mind gets occupied with something else, I am thinking clearer, and for a second I really understand this was for the best. But than I remember the last moments, you, your eyes, your touch, your everything, and I want those moments back, and hold you, kiss you, and be there with you.

I miss you. And I am afraid that if I'll stop, I'll lose you completely.



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So Tired

So tired of so many things.

So tired of people lying, of people faking it, of fake feelings and freezed smiles. So tired of people pretending they care, pretending to be friends. Of them posing into victims and making you look like the villain. Of people asking about you just so they could have something to talk about you to others. Twisting and changing the truth and the stories, telling it like what you did was so outrageous and so out of this world, like they could never do that, even if they did worst.

Of people who ask how you are, just to see you vulnerable and down, and to hit you with your own stories and events, and when you confront them, saying that you are the one who didn't understood them, and they wanted to say something else, and other things, and you are looking like an idiot not understanding why they insist on making it your fault.

I would just like for those people to be confronted with the truth. In front of everyone they lied to, or in front of everybody they've talked someone bad to.

Wouldn't you like to see them caught in their lies, and events, and see how they act then? I would just like to see them realize they made mistakes. But truly realize that. Not just say or feel like it because they were caught, and they try to get out of it, but really feel sorry and regret it. Really realize they've hurt someone. And that it was bad what they did.

Wouldn't that be nice? For people to be better?



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A Beautiful and Amazing Girl

I never believed it is possible to love a little pet so much, and feel an out of this world pain when she will leave.

They were my world, she and her sister. They ended up here by chance, but I've learned with them how it feels to love someone without any expectations.

Along the way we had amazing moments. They showed me love in their own way, made me laugh, helped me fight some problems and I helped them when they needed it. We were perfect together.

And then the unimaginable happened. We rushed to the doctor and tried our best to get her better. We fought so hard till the last second. I was by her side day and night, almost all the time. I can't describe to you the feeling when you see the last breath. The end. Just stopped fighting. Tired probably from everything she went through. She was calm now. Better, I hope. In a wonderful place where she is healthy and happy. And I was a mess.

I can't tell you how it feels. I can't describe it. You think it was your fault. Try to remember everything you did. Was it you? Did she get something from you? Could you have done more? Maybe you should have tried more?

Then you feel guilty. Guilty for not spending more time with them. Because it will never be enough no matter how much time you spend.

She left this world surrounded by love. And she will always be loved.



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A Simple Favor

That is all that she asked of her. A simple favor. And everything changed in an instance.

I have finally, after a long time, seen a movie that I really liked. And Blake Lively was delicious and amazing, and simply ruled as a bad girl. She had that vibe that made you want to be like that. Don't care about other people's problems, act like everything can be fixed, like the world isn't ending just because something went wrong, you made a bad and stupid choice, but you don't care.

When I have moments in which I am acting similarly, I feel so relieved. The pressure is off, I don't have to be perfect anymore, and I finally feel free. I feel like I'm enjoying life, like things come easier and stress free, like I can do anything I want without feeling conditioned to do it in a certain amount of time, in a given way, with a specific outcome. Time disappears and everything becomes so relaxed and easy.

Maybe we need more moments like that. Moments when we care less, stress less, do as much as you want or feel like it, be exactly as you want to be, even if that means that you are not perfect. Stop living to everyone's expectations and start doing things as you want to. At your own pace. Following your heart.

Have that moment when you involve less, and you focus more on you. It will give you a feeling of calmness and peace.

Be as you want to be. Be as you feel to be. Be the you that you want to be.



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From "Peace" to "I Don't Know"

A lot of time has passed, and I hoped that when I will be back, I will feel differently. Maybe have a few things sorted out, find the answers to some questions ... I don't know ... I just hoped it would be different.

I don't know why it is so hard, so difficult to change things. I don't even know if I want to change things. You get used to certain things, and situations, and reactions, and you find yourself wanting them to change, but yet, you feel fear of doing something about that. Maybe it's the power of habit, and it's greater than people think it is. Maybe it's fear to change, of the unknown, to make the step and not knowing how you would carry on from there.

Will this change? Would I be making a mistake? Should I feel guilty for thinking this? For wanting this? For planning it in my mind? Will this ever happen? Will I ever make that step? Will I be happy if I do it? When? How long would it take? Will I feel relieved? Should I feel guilty and bad if I do? Will I feel bad? Sad? Depressed? Destroyed? Like my whole world has crumbled? Will I want to run back? Will I be able to go back? What am I supposed to do after? Where would I go? How will I be?

So many questions. No answers. I had no idea so many things could change so fast. That I will get to the point where I would feel .. hopeless. And sad.



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Peace

Have you ever woken up and feel such a peaceful feeling in all your body? It doesn't happen often, that complete calmness feeling that goes through your veins and makes you feel at peace with the entire surrounding world.

You can smell the air like you never did before. Taking your time, like you would like to get it all inside. Even the weather seems perfect to take a long walk. As crazy as it may sound, you have a smile in you. Feel inner peace, calm, easiness, like you found yourself after a long time. It's like when you are really thirsty on a hot summer day and you drink a big glass of cold water. You feel it sliding down your throat, going through all your body and cooling you down in such an amazing feeling.

This is the moment when I feel like I can do anything, like the limits disappeared, and everything is possible now. You feel the love in you and around you, caressing and embracing you. You want to kiss the world, to hold it tight in your arms and let her know how much you love her. You start loving people again, want to do things, and the world start making sense again.

When you've been under a lot of pressure, confusion and incomprehensible anger, this is like a breath of fresh air. Your heart is so light, and your entire body is like a feather.

Don't let this moment go away. Enjoy it. Feel it. Live it. It doesn't come often, so let it run through your entire being, filling you up with the joy of living. Feel it in every bone of your body, in every muscle, and surrender completely. 

After a moment like this one, you might feel like your energy skyrocket, so do something with it. Use it as fuel to do the things you always wanted, to work on your dreams, and to just start living your life. This is the moment when everything feels perfect, when your life feels amazing. Stop, and enjoy it!



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What Is the Purpose of Life?

Where are we heading? Is there somewhere we are heading to? Is there a destination? We are running so fast sometimes toward something and we don't even know what, or where it is.

I feel sometimes like I am consuming in a second the flame for an entire lifetime. Like I am running with such speed that it seems like time is compressed into a second. I have morning now and a moment later is evening, and I still have fuel to go three more rounds. I'm so pumped up with energy that the night turns into day, and the hours I lose in bed make me puff and twist and turn, wanting to turn dark into light and start over.

 Every new project is a new beginning, a new start, a new reason for living. It is filling me up with adrenaline, I start dreaming, and wanting, I am acting and reacting to the world around me and I feel life rushing through my veins. I feel alive.

The air is sharper, the sky is bluer, the Sun shines brighter, and everything around just goes through me at an intensity that is hard to describe. I need this. I need the new dreams, the new ambitions to make me feel life, to make me understand the purpose we are here ... the purpose I am here. The reason everything happens.

I have dreams, I have them loud and clear. I am just searching for ways to make them real, to bring them in my world, in my reality.

Some seem to have it so easy. They sneeze and get their way. Some fight like crazy for what they want. Some go through life as if they are in a competition. It is like you could write the definition of a hard life just by describing their own, but they are still so strong and positive and determined to live their life that you can't help wanting to have at least half of their strength, and determination, of zest and willingness to live. Yet others buy a new wallet and they are crazy happy of how beautiful it is, but they break to pieces and shut down when they realize it doesn't fit any purse, so they spent the money in vain.

The reaction of a full of life person would be to either return it, or sell it and get the money back, or give it to someone who has less, or as a gift, leave it in a drawer until they find a bigger bag they will like and buy ... this is the one who will find a way to get over this situation.

The other one won't want to return it or sell it, because they wanted a wallet, and any of these options would result into not having any wallet at all. They won't give it away, because they spent money on it that they lost and the idea of throwing money away when they fight to make them is not an option. They won't give it as a gift, because the liked the wallet so much, and they feel like no one is good enough to receive that amazing wallet that they loved that much. Buying another bag is out of discussion, because that would imply spending more money, possibly on an acquisition that will prove to be as bad as the wallet.

Why does it seem so easy for some and feel like the end of the world for others? We have some lessons to learn? Are we learning them? Did they already learn them and now they just cruise through problems and life?

Which tell of the afterlife and previous life is it true? Do we get to choose where we go, what family, what city or country, what social condition? Do we choose what struggles to go through in life? Choose the people we meet, good and bad, and pre-create the experiences we will have? Is the purpose set before?



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Fighting Anxiety

There is something pressuring you and you just can't put your finger on it. You are up and down,and all over the place. You feel like sitting, but also standing. Feel like doing something, but also don't start nothing. You want to run, but you want to stay. You feel your heart beating so fast, and then you're calm.

This is anxiety .... and this is a really nasty feeling.

I know you feel like you can't get over this, but actually you can. This is really possible. What do you really feel like doing? What is it that is pressuring you? The anxiety feeling appears when you either want to do something, but there are other things that keep popping out, stopping you from doing what you wanted, either when you have something to do, but other things are interfering with what you should be doing.

You have a million things to do, and you make a list of priorities that you want to finish in a given amount of time so you can also go to bed - preferably earlier than the other days when you pushed 1-2 AM easy,and you were a zombie all day long ... everyday - but your phone is ringing, and the person at the other end is not looking as if they would want to end the conversation any time soon, and you feel like you're fibrillating. When the finally do hang up, your loved one wants something from you, then your child is calling, then you get thirsty or you have to go to the bathroom, and you find out you have to take your shower now because all the others scheduled for it and if you are not going now you will get your turn by the time you were planning to be in bed. And all this time you feel this agitation inside you because you have a plan and you are nowhere near it.

So stop. Stop what you are doing and do what you wanted or had to do. Tell the person on the phone that you have to hang up. Tell you're loved one you love them, but you need 10 minutes to finish what you were doing, ask someone to bring you a cup of water, tell them you will take your shower in between their "bathroom appointments" and do you're stuff. You will see that the feeling of calm and release will take over your entire body and you will feel liberated, you will feel like you can finally breath free.

Make your schedule by what you have to do, not by what others give you.

You don't have these feelings everyday, so they don't always have to make their plans considering your wishes, this is why they can understand that today you have less patience and a higher level of anxiety. Explain that to them. Get a good night sleep and tomorrow you will go back to being calm and positive and everything will get back to normal.

You deserve one day of doing things your way in order to get better.



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Who Are You? - This Is Me! - The Greatest Showman

This is me. The one who's sometimes up, and sometimes down. The one who changes her mind more often and faster than she would want to. The one who loves the world and everything in it, and sometimes hates it just as much. The one who wants to do so many things at once, feeling energized and pumped with life, moving mountains and building new stairs to heaven, but I am also the one who is getting tired, who wants to lay down and take a step back from trying to do everything at once.

This is me. The one who wants to change the world, to build a better place where happiness is not for sell, where health is not for rent, and where love doesn't have a schedule. The one who looks at the world and sees the enormous beauty that it has, and sees what it can be, and wants to bring that vision to life. But I am also the one who feels discouraged, and full of fears, who's afraid she won't make it, but then she's afraid of what she can do.

This is me. The one who fights so much to keep that dream alive and tries to find ways to make it true, but also the one who is overwhelmed by everything around, by the fight, and the hopelessness and the fear that this won't come true.

This is me. The one who gives up trying when people try to stop her dreams, when things get hard and they seem impossible, when time is passing and the world doesn't stop to wait for her and her plans, but I am also the one who rises stronger, hoping harder and wishing with a higher intensity to fight, to make things work, to make her dreams come true and transform the world as she's seeing it.

This is me ... the one who wants a better world ... and I am starting with me. It's not easy, but if we all give up, there won't be anyone left to change it, and I can't imagine a world where my plans to make it better won't work.

Fall down, lay on the floor, feel drained and give up for a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month ... take as long as you need, but at some point remember your dreams, your hopes and your plans, and get up, and fight to get them, because no one else will fight for you, because no one else will have the exact vision that you do ... so change the world ... you have the power in you.

"The Greatest Showman" with Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron, Michelle Williams, Rebecca Ferguson and Zendaya - I don't care how historically accurate it is, I only know that this movie made my heart smile, and my eyes cry, and feel an entire range of emotions that left me wanting to see this movie again. Don't think or care about anything else, just enjoy the movie and see where it takes you.



Photo credit: pixabay

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Feeling Tired And Anxious

Two night of not sleeping well can mess up with your mind and mood big time. I have no idea why the lack of sleep, cause I am pretty tired when I am going to bed, but no matter how sleepy I feel and how tired I am, I still find myself looking at something on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or Twitter, or searching for something online that might help with my business, and I find myself still awake at late night hours, and getting kind of nervous at some point when I realize I only have a few hours left to sleep.

Why is it so hard to just go to bed and sleep? It shouldn't right? You go to bed, turn off the light, leave everything aside and sleep. But I guess it's not that easy when you have so many thoughts running through your mind with 100 miles an hour.

Sometimes you just want to do everything yourself. You feel like no one will do it as good as you, as fast as you, as perfect as you. You are the absolute sole person on the face of the Earth that can do those things exactly as they should be done. You want to let someone else do it, release yourself from the pressure of having to do that thing and having to do it perfectly, you would love to delegate and just sit back and relax, and if things don't end up as they should you won't be the blame for it, you don't have to take responsibility, feel guilty, and nervous for being your fault. You would love so much to do that. But you can't, because you want to badly for things to be done in a certain way, and you care so much about the outcome that you just can't let someone else do it.

So you end up even more tired than before. Everything hurts, your mind is tired, you can't even concentrate on simple things, you get angry out of the stupidest things, even the voice of someone talking to you makes you angry, for absolutely no reason at all but the fact that by them talking, you have to concentrate, and pay attention, and your mind just can't do that anymore.

It is normal. Everybody is going through this at some point, and it is perfectly normal to feel this way when you are at that level of tiredness. You do however, have to remember that the person you are lashing out at has no fault that you are tired, and maybe they are actually trying to help, or just trying to make you feel better. So before you jump at their throat, maybe won't be such a bad idea to tell them how tired you are, and how this is making you nervous and edgy, and maybe you should try to either go to sleep, or try to make yourself feel better by taking a nice bath, or listening to some nice music, or watch a movie or a TV show that you love.

Do whatever will help you to be happy, and delegating sometimes, or letting others try to do the things you think only you can do, can help you relax more and have more happy moments to enjoy life, rather than going through it feeling tired and nervous all the time.

Take time for yourself and remember that you are human, and not being perfect is ok.



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The World is Yours

2018 already started for three days now, and, of course, I am no different than the rest of the world. But that's more than ok, cause I don't want to be different, nor alike, nor perfect. I just want to be me, as I am, with flaws, with ups and downs, with good moments hopefully more than bad ones, with joy and happiness and wishes of better.

I want to write more this year. About what I feel, what I am living. This blog was always meant to be different. To tell the story of a true life, with true feelings and emotions that people go through every day, but rarely - if ever - talk about it. So this year I would like to try to write my story. Maybe I won't have things to talk about every day, but when that will happen I will just gather them together placing more days in one post.

Someone once told me that we shouldn't see the New Year as a beginning, but rather as a continuance. Apparently this way you don't set your mind to "having to start over", but just continuing what you already have. I don't know if this is true or not, but my story starts with:

December 30, 2017

Preparing for New Years, just as any other person in the world, especially women, I am cleaning my house, cooking what we were supposed to serve on New Years Eve and the first days of the year, and - for the very first time - I am taking time for me and going to a movie that I have so long waited for and wanted to see: #Ferdinand - which was simply amazing.

I am usually critic when it comes to movies and animations, because I have really seen a lot of them, and given the technology we have today I am expecting great things to be done, but this animation movie was just as wonderful as I have expected it to be after seeing the trailer. There were a few scenes with the calming goat that I didn't really see the point of, but overall, the movie was even better than the trailer.

This is not just an animation for children. The room was full with adults, either they came with kids or on their own. So, go see it. Have fun. Relax and enjoy an hour and a half of wonderful cartoon.

December 31, 2017

It's a Sunday, so of course that the only things I might do is make some sweets. Well ... if I had any left to do, but since I kept preparing for a few days, I had nothing to do now, so I chilled, and thought to go see another movie: #StarWars #TheLastJedi.

I have to admit that I wasn't that impressed with #TheForceAwakens, so I have postponed seeing this Star Wars episode, but I am happy to say that I have judged wrong and this episode was really good. Way better than The Force Awakens - of course, this is just my opinion.

So, this ends up being another movie that I recommend seeing. You do have to prepare yourself as it will last for 2 hours and a half, so go to toilet before entering, and arm yourself with enough snacks if you know yourself as someone who chews a lot during movies - or at least have some gum to keep you busy during the slow parts of the story.

This is the first year when I don't fell festive for New Year. I just didn't feel the New Year. The emotion I used to have in the past, the way I couldn't wait for it to come, to start a new year, to see the fireworks while I drink a glass of children champagne - my favorite every year. I was at the mall and it was almost sad to see how few people were in there. I guess I was the only one not feeling New Years Eve and since it was the first time going through this I had no idea how to react. I hoped I will catch the bug by seeing everyone else running all over the place preparing for it, but unfortunately it didn't happen. So I went home and waited for New Year to happen.

I've put on a nice outfit and some makeup before midnight, opened the children champagne with hubby and waited for the clock to show 12 o'clock. I felt a bit of emotion when midnight stroke and fireworks started, the TV was on and everyone was screaming Happy New Year, but it wasn't the strong feeling I used to have on this night, but I guess something is better than nothing at all.

I didn't feel sad or anything for not feeling New Year's Eve, I had a few Christmases I haven't quite felt, so it wasn't very tragic. Practically this was the first time when I saw 2018 as a continuity of 2017, just like another day has started, not another year.

January 01, 2018

The first day of the year was, as I said, just another day. Since we were both off from work we decided to go out for a walk and see what else comes our way. The weather was so beautiful you might have thought Spring was coming. After a walk we decided to go see another movie - as I told you, I am watching a lot of movies, the reason why I am acting like a critic, because I can compare them to others of its kind. We saw: #Jumanji

Dwayne Johnson, Kevin Hart and Jack Black are always a great idea for a movie, especially a comedy, but I had no idea Nick Jonas can act, and really well I might add.

I liked this movie a lot. Of course there was room for way more to do with the movie, more special effects, more action, more challenges ... but what saves them is the script, which has many funny moments, and the actors who act really well and gives the movie a nice flow, so you don't feel that much the need for more action.

You should go see the movie if you haven't already.

January 02, 2018

No more movies today. We are taking a break from it and just choose to take a walk to the mall, and be surrounded by people. I feel the need sometimes to be around many people. Hear them talk, laugh, pass by them on the street ... be a part of their lives for a split of a second, or watch them from a distance. You can discover so much about what being normal means just by watching others. I have a writer bone in me, I guess I was born like that, and watching people is what any writer does. We are also a bit off and we need others to connect us with reality, so we observe others, and learn that we are as normal as can be, because we see others do the exact things that we are doing, things that we were questioning ourselves if they are normal to do or say.

Tomorrow is back to work day. In a way I can't wait to start again and do amazing things. On the other side, I am trying to set a balance in my life and when I have a day off to act like on a day off.

I have also started to read again. I love my books, and I have missed them. I am assigning at least 30 minutes in the evening to read. I've finished #TheGreatGatsby and I loved it. I am actually sorry I've finished it and I won't meet Gatsby and Daisy, and Nick and Jordan. This was a story I didn't wanted to end, I wanted to go on and see how their lives went on. It was just like with The Catcher in the Rye, I've wanted that book to go on forever, until the characters got old, that is how amazing, complete and complex I found that book. 

I've started The Name of the Rose, and I am hoping it will end up being just as wonderful as the previous two - I am reporting to these two because these are the ones I've read latest, because I lot the number of books I've read in my life.

January 03, 2018

I have finally reached the current day. As I said yesterday, this is the first day back to work from this year. I have many plans to grow my work, my business that I have with my sibling. I have also started writing this on my blog. I am not trying to make it a diary, I still want it to be a different kind of blog, a blog where if one person finds comfort then I am happy to know I've helped someone find their way, or at least helped them feel normal, understand they are not alone, and so many others go through similar experiences daily, they just don't talk about it. 

Take time off, see a movie, read a book, write something down, cook something for the first time, go for a walk, buy something small for yourself - it doesn't have to be expensive - feed a street person or a street animal, do something that will break your usual cycle, and you will be amazed of how different you will feel, how your whole mood will change and how confident and good you will feel.

Have fun, and do something new, something just for you.


Oh ... and  P.S.:  I have decided to make a baby ... well ... we decided, cause I'm not making it alone :) ... I'll let you know how that works, and I'll tell you more about it tomorrow.



Photo credit: https://nature.desktopnexus.com

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