I Love Talking To You ❤️

 

 I love talking to you. Sharing what I have learned in all these years going through the stuff that I went through. And if I can help you find comfort and feeling at least a bit more normal in your life, then I am more happy than I can express it. 

I think I started understanding all the things I went through, a while after I've created this blog. It was mostly to help me have a place where I could talk about what was happening to me, what i was going through, kind of like a journal. But somewhere along the way I understood that my experience can help other people as well. And, that is when I thought that maybe what I went through was given to me to help others. Either it is through this blog, or through the characters I portray in my acting career, every episode brought something to me, and I can give back to the world. And help you see that you are not alone. And you are not the only one.

I didn't feel normal for many years. I felt like everyone had it together, and they knew how to live and be humans, and I was struggling. And I couldn't understand why that was. Talking to someone very dear to me told me something that reacted like a short circuit into my brain. She said "no one has it together. I'm scared too. I am afraid too. I wake up every day and just try to go through life." 

I had no idea. None. That I wasn't the only one. You know why? Because no one is talking about it. No one posts on their social media how they are lying on the floor not being able to move. Or how they are crying in the bathroom. How they go to bed with tears in their eyes. How they wake up not wanting to start another day. NO ONE talks about this. So, just the fact that you are feeling this doesn't mean that you are not normal. You are as normal as the next person.

And you're not only having bad days, or hard days. You have great and amazing days too. You have days when you can't wait to wake up. Days when you go to bed smiling. Days when you feel like you have so much love in you, and you feel so amazing, that you are close to hugging strangers on the street. You have those days too. They are there. Remember those when you are having a bad day. 

I did tell you in a previous post how you can influence your mind. You can change the pattern in it. You can have more days when you are feeling good. Just choose what thought you want to let in. It won't be easy peasy. You won't do it from the first try. They will try to come back and rule your mind, because that is what you are used to for years now. But you can fight it. You can. You really can. You can say: "No. I don't want this thought. I don't like it. I don't want it. I want to think of something else." Then find something else you would like to have in your mind. And start entertaining that thought. 

A post I see often on social media is: "what if things turn out even better than what you thought? entertain that idea." - And I absolutely love this thought. What if they turn out even better? Who's to say that they won't? You had times when you thought something won't work, and it did. And it was even better than you could have imagined it. Who's to say it won't happen this time as well?

- What if things turn out even better than what you thought? Entertain that idea. -

Photo credit: Spiritze from Pixabay

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Genuine Happiness For Others Can Be Taught

 

 I bet you didn't know this, or maybe you didn't thought it  was possible, but you can teach your mind to genuinely be happy for other people's success. 

I do have to admit that I wasn't the type to be happy for everyone's success in life. But that was a stop from me, because I was thinking why isn't it happening to me? I wanted to have that achievement too, or have that kind of success, or whatever the person did that I was hearing of. 

I was happy for close family, for dear friends that I loved, but I couldn't be happy for everyone and anyone. And that is a normal feeling. It took me a while to understand that a certain amount of envy is good. Cause it will also push you to try it, and to succeed. And you know when you have that really great friend that has a major achievement, and they are so happy, and you are happy for them, but you've probably been struggling for a while, so you have that little thought somewhere deep down that is making you think "awww, I want that too. I want it to be also me celebrating my achievements". And, again, that is normal.

But the brain does what you tell it too. The reptilian brain, I know how it sounds, but this is how is called 😊 is where your behavior resides. Everything you do on autopilot, comes from there. The way you eat, the way you walk, how you move, how you react to certain situations, that all comes from there.

The neocortex, the rational brain, in the big part of the brain that helps you read, talk, and understand what it is being told to you. And you also have the emotional brain, the limbic brain. This is the part that makes you react with an emotion to your surroundings: anger, happiness. 

You might have hear this before, but it is 100% true. Your brain does not know the difference between something that happened, and something that you imagined. He doesn't know if what you are thinking in your mind actually happened, or it is all just a fruit of your imagination. So, whichever thought you are giving to it, that is the one that he is going to believe. 

You see how important it is what you keep thinking? If you think something over and over again, it will go into your reptilian brain, and transform into habit. Into a pattern. 

If when a friend gives you a good news for them, you start smiling, try to gather all the happiness you have and genuinely congratulate them, and not let any other thought stop you, you can transform that into a habit. Every time someone shares a great news about them, think that that could be you. And because they did it, it is pure evidence that you can too. And be happy with all your heart that they did it, cause that means you can too, and you will too. Believe that in you. And smile. And tell them how happy you are for them, for their success. 

If you will consciously do this every time you hear a good news, you will end up created the pattern for this in your reptilian brain, and you will see that as soon as you will hear a great news about someone, you will really feel real joy for them. Not faked, not forced, but real joy that comes from within you. 

It won't happen over night, I'm not going to lie you here. But it won't take forever either. You will know when it worked because you will feel the joy came without you even realizing it. And that means a new pattern was created. 

How is that helping you? First of all you won't get those bad thought of how everyone else is making it and you're not. It will make you feel happier and feel like you are having a better day, and that will attract even more good things towards you. And it will make you go forward, because your brain will associate their success with your ability to succeed as well, so that will motivate you and give you the power to keep going. 

You see how many beautiful things come out of it for you, when you are happy for someone else? 😊 That is something worth working towards creating that genuine happiness for some else's success.

Photo credit: Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay

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When Your Mind Isn't Well ... Nothing Is -- Get It Back

 

I don't think I fully understood the importance of "peace of mind" until I lost it. Until I found myself literally on the floor, crying so hard that I was out of breath, begging God to help me, and not seeing a way out of my situation. 

Those were the hardest moments of my life, and it still gives me anxiety thinking and talking about it. 

In just a few months my life changed drastically, going from bad, to worst, to finding some sort of balance and then to falling even deeper than before. I was in a place where I did not think I will get out of. I felt like I had so many options, so many ways I could have chosen, and then, in a couple of days I found myself without any of them. 

Covid added a lot to that situation, and I know many people had a really hard time, and lost a lot during that period.

I don't want to complain about it, because going through it I didn't just loose some options, but I've gained some new ones that I think put me on the right track. But I had to fight a lot through it. Mentally. That's the hardest part. I had so many negative, bad an unsettling thought that I could not stop, and that got me in a place so bad I can't even tell you about it. 

I used to think the mental health is a given, and that the ones who lose it are just a really small number, and usually they come into this world like this. I never knew depression and bad thoughts can get you that low. Not seeing a way out. feeling stuck. Feeling lost. Feeling like you failed, because you don't have the right job, you don't have the family you're supposed to have by that age, you don't know how to get back and regain your motivation. And day by day you go in deeper and deeper, and it's harder and harder to pull yourself out. 

I would walk on the street or be in the middle of the mall and I was getting so overwhelmed that I would instantly start crying. Not having a specific reason, meaning that there wasn't anything that happened to me in that exact moment. I was just feeling so much pressure from it all.

I have struggled a lot in my life with the feeling that I am not normal, that everyone has it together and knows exactly what they have to do, where they're coming from and where they're headed, they are confident, balanced, and so well put together, and I was the freak that didn't fit in. I have learned now that NO ONE has it together. No one. Read that again. No one has it together. Yes, they might be having good days where their confidence levels go up, where things seem to flow for them and they look and feel like they are stepping on clouds. But so are you. You also have those days. But most of the times, everyone is just fighting to keep out the bad thought, and to survive. 

After being through those moments of hopelessness and helplessness, I know my mental health, my Peace of Mind is what makes me go on every day, and do things, and just exist. 

I have meditated, read psychological books, went to therapy, followed everything and everyone that was talking about depression and how to get out of. I fought a lot. I smiled a lot while tears were falling down my face, to trick my brain that I am happy. I induced my happiness by putting on happy music and dance on it. By repeating myself "I am fine, I am safe" until I started really letting those words in my head and feel them. I looked at everything I had in my life and made a list with all I have every time I was slipping back into it. I listened to Bob Proctor, Gabrielle Bernstein, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Amy Sikarskie, and many, many more, and meditations from them. I tried everything. 

I managed to get back. I'm not 100% healed (no one is), but I am back. It is an every day step towards getting better and staying that way. I did learn that changing what thoughts you let in, affects your mind, mood and health.

I have also learned that you can do anything and everything, but unless you try to stop the negative thought, and fight to keep them out, replace them with something else, something of your choice, it's really hard to win. 

Remember the best memories you have. Go where you most feel comfortable. Move your body even when you feel like crawling on the floor crying. Do something. Move! Move, move, move. I can't stretch this enough. Keep moving. Go for walks. Wash dishes. Fold clothes. Dance. Do sport exercises inside your house. No matter how easy or intense. But move your body, to start moving your energy and changing it. 

Then choose to be happy. Because you can. Not because you have to, but because you can. If you were once happy, you can be happy again. 

Choose what thoughts you let in. Because it is your mind. Your house. No one can enter or stay in your house if you don't want them there. Imagine yourself being bigger than the thought in your mind, and telling it firm and clear to leave. Show it the door. And close it behind it. It is YOUR "house", YOUR rules. 

Play funny videos on YouTube. I've watched so many dogs and cats that I feel like I own some myself :) 

Change your support system. If they don't support you, if you don't feel good or comfortable around them, don't be afraid to set boundaries, create limits and leave out anyone who makes you vibe in a bad way. You need to protect your mind. As selfish as that might sound, it really isn't. If they don't understand that you need that peace and they cross your fence, you should not bend your mental comfort for them. 

You do have the power. You are much more powerful than you think.

Make a list with what you want to do the next day. Stay realistic. Don't put 1000 things on the list when your mental power gives you enough to deal with one thing. Put that one thing in, and add another one with "maybe". The "maybe", really is a maybe. Is not a must. Is not an "I'm failing if I don't". If you can do that "maybe" as well, that's great. If you can't, just look at you actually doing that one thing you set yourself to do for the day. You did it. That's amazing. Be proud of yourself. You did it. You really did. And I hope from the bottom of my heart you realize how important and amazing it is that you did that :) 

Do you. Care about you. Put yourself first. No one else is supposed to put you first, because they need to put themselves first. Gain back your mental health. Your peace of mind is the most important thing. If you have that, you can do anything you want to. 

You can. Because I know you can :)

Photo credit: Michael Schwarzenberger from Pixabay

If this helped you in any way and you found value in it, you can make a donation. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

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