Are People Meant To Leave?

I see everyday people who "complain" that friends, family, acquaintances are leaving their life even if they promised at some point that they will always be there for them. They are blaming them for not being there anymore, to whatever they might need. But people are meant to leave.

Whether they've run their course in your life, or you did, and you no longer need them there, people are passengers through your life.

Just think of the people you left, the ones in who's life you no longer are. Maybe your life took you to another level and they didn't or couldn't fallow, or maybe their life moved to another level, and you were the one left behind. The last one is the hardest to accept. But those people don't serve you anymore, and you don't serve them.

Once you've learned your lesson, you receive other people and situations in your life. If you don't learn your lesson, you are bound to repeat, either with the same people, over and over again, or with new people, but with the same character and attitude as the previous ones. If you move to another country, your friends won't follow, but your lessons will, so you will meet new people, but who act the same as the one you left behind.

With really close family things are a bit different. They don't usually leave once you learn, your relationship transform to harmony and peace, and they will be there to support and help you with the lessons you have with others.

There are a lot of people that left from my life, or that I've left from theirs. And, if at first I was confused and tried to either keep them or stay in theirs with force, now I understand and I am more accepting of the process. Dwelling in relationship or situation that no longer serves you will only turn that into something else.

"My friend changed, it is like they are a different person, they don't understand me anymore and our relationship is not what it used to be" ... Yes! It is different. Because you vibrate on different frequencies now and you can't resonate anymore. You need to let them go. Or you need to go.

"But, if we try, can't we get back to what we had?" .... You will have to work really hard at it, make compromises and give up parts of your personality in order to still fit that relationship or situation. You might have periods when things will be better, maybe close to what they used to be, but in the end, you will have to learn the lesson of letting go. You will postpone the moment, change yourself in the process, hurt more and try harder, but in the end you will get to the same place where you could have been months or years ago.

People are meant to leave your life, and that is ok, because new ones will take their place and help you learn new lessons, take you to a new state of you.



Photo: pixabay

 

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Remember The Lesson, Not The Failure

We tend to lose ourselves in the projects and tries that we are "failing" at. And I am using the quotation mark because I truly believe that we don't fail, we learn. But when we are going through a lot of try outs and they don't come out as we imagine they will, or they just turn exactly the opposite of what you hoped they will, you don't think of the experience as a lesson, but as something that you failed at. 

When a relationship ends, what did you learn from the relationship or from the breakup? Maybe you learned compassion, compromise, sharing, how to listen to someone else, what to do, what not to do ... .

When a project or a new job doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, what was the lesson there? Did you learn how not to procrastinate, how to be more organized, to prioritize, did you maybe learn a new skill, met someone through the job or project who helped you with something else, or who opened your eyes about something ... ? 

In every experience there is a lesson. Don't think of it as something that you might have failed, but try to see what you got out of it. 

When Thomas Edison was asked how did it feel to have failed 999 times, he just said: "I have not failed 999 times. I have simply found 999 ways how not to create a light bulb."

But Edison used those 999 times to understand what not to do again. He did not repeat the same mistakes. In my opinion, you can call it a failure when you keep making the same choices again and again, hoping for a different result. And to give an example close to Thomas Edison's reference: if you screw a light bulb in the wrong decision, it will never screw and light up. 

Make mistakes, it's ok, that is how you will learn, but LEARN. After every experience you have, that you might not be so happy about, think about what you learned, or what you should have learned from it.

Go be great. You definitely can!


Photo credit: me

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Some People DON'T Want Help

As crazy or out of this world as this might sound, not everybody want's to be saved. And that's not a bad thing, especially because it is not your job to save or help everyone, and you also can't save or help every person on the Planet. Not even every person that you personally know.

Were you ever in a conversation with a friend, relative, or just an acquaintance of whom you know they maybe have a great talent, or a really good business idea, and when you ask about it, their entire face mimic changes? They go from relaxed, having a nice conversation, to shifting their look to a different direction, getting serious, maybe some saggy eyes, and they go on defend mode.

"That was a great idea, I wish you'd sticked with it" --- "Yeah ... but I didn't had the time anymore, and plus ... that happen, and after that, there was something else, and then a new thing appeared, and at some point I just said it's not going anywhere, so I stopped. Because it wasn't working."

And they are either trying to switch the conversation to something else, or they seek approval that you understand, and you support that that was a good decision, or they are just not saying anything at all hoping that at some point you will stop pushing this.

I was one of those people. And I sometimes still am one of those people. Sometimes I wish someone would have a great idea that could help me get out of that state and proceed with my idea, but from a new perspective, but sometimes I just know I want to drop the subject, because I either don't want to continue doing that thing anymore, or I am disappointed and have a break down, or I need a different type of motivation, and from the discussion I know I'm not getting it there.

The slight difference is that I know when I am doing this. I know when I am truly really tired, when I have exhausted all the paths, or at least the paths that came into my mind, when I am prepared to take on a different direction and start something else, - or -, when I am procrastinating, when I am lacking motivation, when I have a difficult mood and nothing can stick with me in that state, or when I am not trying as hard as I know I could.

No matter which of the version we are dealing with, in those moments, when you are coming up with ideas and the person in front of you pushes back, you need to stop. Stop then, and stop every time from then on, when you see this person getting on defend mode. They might need your help, but they don't want your help, and they won't applaud you for trying. Or at least most of them won't.

Why am I saying this? Because you might not offer that person the solution that they need. Just because you think something can work, doesn't necessarily mean that it will work, or that it will work for them, or, that they are willing to put in the effort. Maybe you wouldn't be willing to put in the effort either if you were in their situation. Supposing is easy, doing it is something else.

You also might not have the energy to keep pushing that person over and over until you get them out of the defend mode, and place them into the lives they could have. This could take a long time, to make someone get over the resistance. And there is a chance that you might end up as not friends in the end.

You can help them in a few ways. You can suggest they go talk to someone. And yes, I do mean a psychologist. They will have the skills and the power to get to the bottom of the problem, and get them out of it. Or you can draw them in, without letting them know it. 

For example, if someone is making beautiful jewelry, but they can't stick with it and they always make excuses for why they are not making and selling it regularly, in stead of telling them this, and if you really want to help, ask that person to make some for you, buy them, and show pictures to your other friends, co-workers, people you know. Then just say that people admired the jewelry and they wanted some too - if they really do. The appreciation will make that person work on the jewelry without even realizing they are creating a business. 

Or, if someone is a good marketer, ask for their advice with real problems. Ask for them to explain it to you. Talk to people at your work place and tell them how good this person is. Maybe send an application in their place, or slip it to your boss that you might know the perfect person for the job. Be creative. But do as much, or as little as you can. If you can. 

It is not your job to save everyone. And not everyone wants to be saved. If you are willing to put in the energy, without expecting anything in return, - because this could back fire, or not work -, than do it. Help them. But if you can't, that's ok. Not everybody wants to be saved. 



Photo credit: pixabay


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The Power Of Your Mind

I have been through a lot, and I think I've learned my lessons in most of the cases, and now I am giving back, helping others go through them easier, or helping them understand the things they are missing when they are too deep in and can't keep an objective view anymore.

I've just read the story of a man who went through an ordeal, going through an accident, and was lucky enough to come out of it alive. The strength that came out of his words telling the story made me think about how some go through hell and back and they are stronger than ever, loving life even more, and make them want to spread even more kindness. And how other people fall completely from what to other seem like a small stumble.

How come that some are so resilient and so vivid when hard times come, making them even more adamant to get over that, and some barely have the power to get out of bed after a breakup?

It all starts in the mind. All your power starts in your mind.

Have you noticed how, when you stop being afraid of a thing or a situation, when you tell yourself that you don't care anymore, you're going to do it, and that's that, how your entire body and attitude changes? You stop feeling fear, you feel the need to move forward, to take action, your whole body just goes forward determined and convinced that you will do great. Like you can tackle that thing or situation like a piece of cake.

That is your mind. And when it takes over, it controls your body, your attitude, AND the outcome. That is how life stories about impossible things turned possible are borne.

It's not that some are better, while other might be worse at life, or that some are stronger, and others weaker, because the world doesn't divide in strong and weak, but in energy, vibration, love, and physical and psychological power to cope. And it all starts in your mind. If you tell yourself with full conviction that you can do it, you see yourself mentally doing it, than you can do it.

Lack of fear can set your mind free, and give it power. The most crazy thing is that sometimes, experiencing a greater fear will make you release the old one and make you move forward.

You might be in a bad relationship, but the idea of being alone, starting over, losing some of the good moments that you still have, or losing some benefits it might bring you, can make you stay in that bad relationship - either we are talking about a romantic, friendship or work related relationship. But the sadness adds up day after day, until some point when you simply can't do it anymore. You have a flash-forward and you see the same sadness, unhappiness and disappointment for the rest of your life, and something breaks. The fear of feeling like that every day for the rest of your life becomes greater than any other fear that might come with ending that relationship. And in that moment your mind is free. It takes over, and it pushes you forward, giving you all the strength you need to take action, and do it.

Trust your mind. And trust yourself. You can do great and amazing things. Believe it!



Photo credit: pixabay


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The Reason Your Business Might Be Failing

The very first question you need to ask yourself is: "do you love what you are doing?".

This is the beginning to all the questions that come after, and which will tell you if your business is failing, and if you can save it.

Think about yourself in the future. After as much time as you wish: 1 year, 2 years, 5 years ... . How do you see yourself related to your business? Did you maybe move from the apartment you're in now, into an office building? Are you dressed professionally? - not necessarily suit and tie, but something that gives you the "I'm running things" feeling. Do you have employees? Are they professionals? Do you feel like you are an important and respected figure there? - not just as a boss, but as a leader, as someone they look up to?

How do you feel seeing yourself there? Are you at peace and happy with who you are and what you are doing? You see yourself busy and overwhelmed, or busy but problem-solver?

If you don't feel in any way good thinking about your future image in relation to your business, can you change it? Is there anything else you really desire to do? Is it achievable, or a fantasy? - if you see yourself having a farm, but you hate everything about living on a farm, then that's a fantasy, is not something you can achieve, unless you work really hard on it. But when you want something, you want it because that makes you happy, not having to change who you are to have it.

Most of the businesses are hard work. And I am saying most, because I am not referring to those belonging to people who hare more money that they could spend in three life times and they start a business because they can, and others take care of it.

Most of the businesses are HARD WORK. - read that again. As a famous entrepreneur said, and I am so sorry I can't remember his name now, there was an interview in a business magazine: "If it were easy, anyone could do it". And then he explained that if everyone could do it, there would have been such a big competition in every domain, that the gain would be so low, that there would be no sense in actually working, for yourself or anyone else.

So, if you are selling drinking cups, and you think it would have been easier, and you would have loved it more if you were selling coffee, than you are wrong, and you are probably just think that it would have been easier. Maybe a lot of people drink coffee and you think it is easier to sell it, but also, there are many other coffee sellers, who bring all kind of assortments, and you probably would have had to work even harder to make them buy from you, not some place else.

If you've started a business that you've wanted, even a little, if you felt something when you chose to be about that, then, my advice would be, instead of wasting a big part of your time dreaming of something else you might love doing, you could actually spend that time working on the business you already have. The one you also wanted at some point.

You can't spend your days dreaming of something else, and then complain that your business didn't work. If you're not putting the time into it, you can't see results.

Think for a second. Do you really, absolutely, from the bottom of your heart, wish to do something else? If not, then start investing all your time and energy in what you already have, and see it grow so beautiful that one day you will laugh at how scared you were in the beginning.

If you discover that you absolutely want to do that other thing, then do it. Don't wait, don't procrastinate, just do it. But, again, put all your time and energy to grow that.

And for all of those who might say they can't just close the business they have now and start a new one, for different reasons, the I say to do this. Pour everything that you have into the business you have now, do it with dedication, love and consistency, and when you get to the point where you can switch to something else, then turn your dream into reality.

There is a way. There is always a way. Find the one that works for you and do it. Be honest with yourself and your heart will tell you everything you need to know.

Businesses are hard work. No matter what you will choose to do, it will require hard work. The only difference is that when you love what you do, you will do it with pouring your heart into it, and feel every day a blessing, not a work day.



Photo credit: pixabay

 

If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated. Thank you :)

 

 

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