As crazy or out of this world as this might sound, not everybody want's to be saved. And that's not a bad thing, especially because it is not your job to save or help everyone, and you also can't save or help every person on the Planet. Not even every person that you personally know.
Were you ever in a conversation with a friend, relative, or just an acquaintance of whom you know they maybe have a great talent, or a really good business idea, and when you ask about it, their entire face mimic changes? They go from relaxed, having a nice conversation, to shifting their look to a different direction, getting serious, maybe some saggy eyes, and they go on defend mode.
"That was a great idea, I wish you'd sticked with it" --- "Yeah ... but I didn't had the time anymore, and plus ... that happen, and after that, there was something else, and then a new thing appeared, and at some point I just said it's not going anywhere, so I stopped. Because it wasn't working."
And they are either trying to switch the conversation to something else, or they seek approval that you understand, and you support that that was a good decision, or they are just not saying anything at all hoping that at some point you will stop pushing this.
I was one of those people. And I sometimes still am one of those people. Sometimes I wish someone would have a great idea that could help me get out of that state and proceed with my idea, but from a new perspective, but sometimes I just know I want to drop the subject, because I either don't want to continue doing that thing anymore, or I am disappointed and have a break down, or I need a different type of motivation, and from the discussion I know I'm not getting it there.
The slight difference is that I know when I am doing this. I know when I am truly really tired, when I have exhausted all the paths, or at least the paths that came into my mind, when I am prepared to take on a different direction and start something else, - or -, when I am procrastinating, when I am lacking motivation, when I have a difficult mood and nothing can stick with me in that state, or when I am not trying as hard as I know I could.
No matter which of the version we are dealing with, in those moments, when you are coming up with ideas and the person in front of you pushes back, you need to stop. Stop then, and stop every time from then on, when you see this person getting on defend mode. They might need your help, but they don't want your help, and they won't applaud you for trying. Or at least most of them won't.
Why am I saying this? Because you might not offer that person the solution that they need. Just because you think something can work, doesn't necessarily mean that it will work, or that it will work for them, or, that they are willing to put in the effort. Maybe you wouldn't be willing to put in the effort either if you were in their situation. Supposing is easy, doing it is something else.
You also might not have the energy to keep pushing that person over and over until you get them out of the defend mode, and place them into the lives they could have. This could take a long time, to make someone get over the resistance. And there is a chance that you might end up as not friends in the end.
You can help them in a few ways. You can suggest they go talk to someone. And yes, I do mean a psychologist. They will have the skills and the power to get to the bottom of the problem, and get them out of it. Or you can draw them in, without letting them know it.
For example, if someone is making beautiful jewelry, but they can't stick with it and they always make excuses for why they are not making and selling it regularly, in stead of telling them this, and if you really want to help, ask that person to make some for you, buy them, and show pictures to your other friends, co-workers, people you know. Then just say that people admired the jewelry and they wanted some too - if they really do. The appreciation will make that person work on the jewelry without even realizing they are creating a business.
Or, if someone is a good marketer, ask for their advice with real problems. Ask for them to explain it to you. Talk to people at your work place and tell them how good this person is. Maybe send an application in their place, or slip it to your boss that you might know the perfect person for the job. Be creative. But do as much, or as little as you can. If you can.
It is not your job to save everyone. And not everyone wants to be saved. If you are willing to put in the energy, without expecting anything in return, - because this could back fire, or not work -, than do it. Help them. But if you can't, that's ok. Not everybody wants to be saved.
Photo credit: pixabay
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