How to Heal Rage and Hatred Feelings

 

 

Hating, being angry, feeling full with rage, it's like "Drinking poison and expecting the other one to die". 

The first time I heard this I understood it, but I didn't feel it completely. It made sense to me, because I was understanding how the person going through these emotions was feeling, and how the other person didn't even know about it, just carrying on with their lives, but I didn't fully understand it.

That was until I found myself in a situation where I was feeling attacked by a co-worker. On and on. no matter what I said, it was never right. They were always right, always perfect, always working more, all the rest of us who were saying something, we were the idiots. And we were many "idiots", if you know what I mean. Trying to tell this one person that they were not approaching things right, but with no success. 

People started backing out from conversations with this person, from working with them, just trying to avoid it as much as possible. Since they had to oversee some things, avoiding wasn't always an option. 

But I found myself thinking over and over again to things that they would do, or say to make me (or others) feel bad, feel small, feel like we're mistaking all the time, and my rage was increasing. I tried to picture myself having an open and calm conversation with this person, but somehow my brain was always making them argue with me even in my own imagination. Maybe because I have witnessed them being like this for so long that even my brain couldn't control the thought of them anymore. 

The more I thought about it, the more rage was building up inside me. I was feeling it in my stomach, crawling, twisting, hurting, making me sick. I was feeling it in my throat, tightening like it was choking me from the inside. And that was when it hit me. That was when I realized, this is what the saying means. "Being angry at someone or something, is like drinking poison and expecting the other one to die". 

My body was acting as if something was killing it from the inside. Just like when you're eating or drinking something that it's not good for you, and your body rejects it, trying to protect you, and spill it out. This was exactly what was happening now. I was drinking poison. 

I remember one day when someone called me just to fish for information. We all have that one person who isn't even delicate about it, they just blunt out ask you what they want to know, and then are like "OK, thanks, I'll let you do your thing now, bye!" and hangs up. Not even giving you time to say good bye. 

Well, I had that person call me, I talked to them, I got angry when they ended it so abruptly after finding out the info they wanted, and I could feel the anger building in. I had that one second where I said "NO! I'm not letting you do this again! You won't take my peace!".

I said "This is you, this is how you act. All this emotion here is yours. I give it back to you so you can do whatever you want with it, cause this is not mine, it's yours!" and I was seeing myself giving this person back a bowl of light with their energy. Their, not yours. 

Then I could just feel my body de-tensing and being at peace and relaxed. Such a wonderful feeling :) 

But I was thinking, why are we not doing the same with everyone that upsets us? Why are we not giving back their energies and let them be? It might not work as fast as doing it once, if there is an old story there, but we should try it again and again, until we stop caring. 

In some situations, being indifferent it's a blessing. When we are indifferent, we stop engaging, we stop caring. We don't care if the other person understands us, if they like us, we don't care if they are making mistakes and not listening when you try to help them. Cause you won't try to help them anymore. And those mistakes will show up eventually, and it won't be your fault, it will be theirs. And I'm not seeing this to be mean, but sometimes people only understand when they see they have made a mistake. Otherwise, if they listen to you and things work out well, they will live with the idea that their way would have been even better, but they HAD TO do it your way. They will NEVER give you the credit. 

So, be OK with people making mistakes, with you not helping everyone. Who is meant to hear and listen, will. 

Give them back their energy. Free yourself from them. You do you! You just do you. And fight for your peace, because no one else will!

Photo credit: Pixabay

Thank you to everyone who made a donation, and to all the ones who are making donations. You are helping me carry on and give back what I've learned. Thank you 🧡

Donations : PayPal