The holidays can be so hard on people. You have so many people come together, each with its own set of values, and beliefs and behavior. They all want something, and most of the time they put others first, getting frustrated and angry and lashing out on others because they are tired and unhappy.
When you are also alone during the holidays, it really sucks. There's no better way of putting it. It just sucks. Just like Cher told Oprah in an interview where she was there with Tina Turner, and Oprah was celebrating them for being in their 60's, and Cher said it sucks to get old. And she's was right. If that is how she was feeling, then that were her feelings and they needed to be validated. Maybe she doesn't feel like that all the time, but she did in that moment.
Anyway ... I'm digressing :)
Being alone during holidays can be hard. But, please, please know that you are not alone. You have people around you that love you so much that you can't even imagine the size of their love for you. The reason you're not "seeing" it, is because you want love from someone else maybe. But that will come too. It will.
You might want to reach a certain status professionally, and you feel like there's no time left, and time flies by and a new year is starting. But, you still have time to be anything that you want to be. Morgan Freeman made it in his 50's, Samuel L. Jackson the same, J. K Rowling the author of Harry Potter was well over 30, and she had a really rocky road until she got there, really hard. Vera Wang designed her first dress when she was in her 40's. I am sure you might have read these things before, and they seem annoying when you are struggling to make it, but they are real. Success happens every day, at any age. All the time. You can be anything you want to be!
To feel better during holidays keep yourself in the moment. Think of some things you already have and that you are grateful for. Maybe having a roof over your head seems like a giving, but wouldn't it be even harder if you wouldn't have that? If you wouldn't have money to pay for food, or water to take a bath, or just drink? You have that now, and that is something really big to be grateful for.
Maybe you woke up without feeling pain in some part of your body. Maybe you feel better mentally then you were yesterday - this is big! Be happy for that.
Is there anything you are happy it happened? Maybe you managed to clean the house - or just a room - in time. Or, you didn't eat junk food for a whole day. These are things that you can be proud and happy about. You did that. celebrate that and just give yourself time.
And when you are together with everyone, and they all start to ask you questions you don't want to answer, or talk about things that you don't want to be a part of, just set boundaries. They are healthy and necessary, and they don't make you selfish, they make you sane and at peace. Install them with grace and smiling. Refrain from participating in the discussion, and if they insist, just say that you do not have an opinion about it yet. That will keep them busy for a while, and when you don't engage, they will look for others who do.
If they still insist, then tell them that you are happy that they have an interest into that, but this is not a subject you would like to discuss, or that interest you. If it is a question about you, your job, your love life, then just say that you don't want to talk about it right now and you want to see what happens next. That can mean that either you have a good job/relationship or that you are about to get one. Either way, it's keeping them away from your business.
Make it about you. Be kind and nice, because we never know what the other person is going through, but be kind and nice with yourself as well. If something isn't settling good with you, then don't force yourself to accept it by putting others before your needs.
Try to get some good friends around you and celebrate the holidays with them. Have around you the people you really want around you. The holidays will pass, and the feelings you're feeling right now, of loneliness and sadness, they will pass too, and life will get back to the normal you know.
Everything will be OK! And you are OK!
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