Feeling Stuck in a Place

Isn't that just maddening? 

Wondering what are you supposed to be doing,

and who are you supposed to be,

and when are you going to get there? 

Are you supposed to stay, or leave? 

 

You lack the courage to leave 

and fear is getting the best of you, 

and yet you're dying bit by bit 

with every other day that's passing you! 

You feel it gutting you, and you get so mad, 

you wished you had the courage to leave,

to run out of this crazy loop,

to build a new life,

and make it as happy as you see it in your mind.

 

You cry alone in your room, 

or next to them while lying awake,

wishing you had the courage,

to take that leap of faith.

You start to understand yourself, 

and to show some compassion,

you know it's not easy,

and that failing before only

makes this attempt seem even harder.

 

It's not just a trip,

it's deciding your future,

and the heaviness of what that brings

makes you move in confusion.

Sometimes you feel like you're outside,

looking in at your actions,

you'd like to tell yourself to slow down

that you'll be fine regardless.

You can't see it now,

because you're just so confused:

"Where's the road I'm walking on?

Where should I go? I don't know!"

I don't understand

how everyone seem to have it all figured out,

while I'm here planning my next breath,

wishing it won't be my last.

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