A lot of time has passed, and I hoped that when I will be back, I will feel differently. Maybe have a few things sorted out, find the answers to some questions ... I don't know ... I just hoped it would be different.
I don't know why it is so hard, so difficult to change things. I don't even know if I want to change things. You get used to certain things, and situations, and reactions, and you find yourself wanting them to change, but yet, you feel fear of doing something about that. Maybe it's the power of habit, and it's greater than people think it is. Maybe it's fear to change, of the unknown, to make the step and not knowing how you would carry on from there.
Will this change? Would I be making a mistake? Should I feel guilty for thinking this? For wanting this? For planning it in my mind? Will this ever happen? Will I ever make that step? Will I be happy if I do it? When? How long would it take? Will I feel relieved? Should I feel guilty and bad if I do? Will I feel bad? Sad? Depressed? Destroyed? Like my whole world has crumbled? Will I want to run back? Will I be able to go back? What am I supposed to do after? Where would I go? How will I be?
So many questions. No answers. I had no idea so many things could change so fast. That I will get to the point where I would feel .. hopeless. And sad.
Photo credit: pixabay
If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help
me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated.
Thank you :)
Donations : PayPal
No comments:
Post a Comment