Monday, November 5, 2018

Afraid to Say the Words




I have always tried to express my feelings here, just as I lived them. This was helping me, and I hopped it would also help others who were going through the same emotions, to identify them, to see they are not the only ones feeling and living them, that they are not alone, and that these emotions are normal. I have always been honest, and if I am sorry about something, is that I haven't written every time I was going through something, so that they all be here, and more people could identify with what they were experiencing.

Sometimes I just couldn't express myself, or I was too upset, or too happy to write about it, so I either chose that time to cry and relieve the tension, or go out and enjoy the great feeling I was living. Sometimes I didn't had the laptop with me, and writing on the phone is harder than you might think, when you are trying to explain in detail how you are feeling, why that is, and what the solution might be.

Even if I have always been honest, I do have to admit that I have chosen my words pretty careful when expressing my stories. There is that feeling when you think of a certain word, or words, to describe something an emotion, and you have that unsettling feeling that you should not express yourself through those words, and no matter how much you would try to shake them, writing them down makes you restless, and you erase them, and try to find the words that makes you feel at peace with your choice.

In my case, that happens because I feel inside that if I say certain words, my state will never diminish, it will stay there forever. You know that words are as important, if not more important, than actions. "Words can hurt more than a slap". Because words stay with you. You might forget the physical pain you felt when someone hit you, but there are more chances for you to remember how you felt when someone said something that hurt you.

Words are powerful. You can change your life just through words. Good or bad. If you say everyday to yourself that "you can", "you are happy", "you like your life", "you find solutions easy", "you are patient", in time, you will get in that place where you are actually happy, patient, you like your life, you solve problems easier, just because you programmed yourself this way. You won't be smiling all day long, and act like you have your head in the clouds all the time, but you won't take life that drastically anymore.

The same happen with bad words. If you find yourself saying in your mind often "how unhappy you are", "how bad everyone is treating you", "how so many bad things are happening to you", this is what you attract.

So you can imagine why I am reticent at using some words that will remain here for a long period of time. But I would like to learn how to become even more open, and say what I want to say without being afraid to use some words. To learn how to block the feeling that certain words might come back to bit me.

I hope I can continue to write for you, to talk about feelings, and you can see you are not the only one going through that, or experiencing that, to tell you all how I went through it and how I did it, what the solution was in my case, and maybe it will apply to your problem as well.

Remember that you are never alone, and that are always millions of other people who feel just as you do, and go through the same emotions as you, because no matter if you live in a mansion or in a humble house, if you have millions in your account or barely surviving, if you have hundred of friends or you can count them on one hand, everybody feels the same.



Photo: pixabay


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