Everything Happens For A Reason

 

 

And they do. As crazy as this might sound, and as hard as it might be to believe it, things happen for a reason. I know it's hard to believe it, or to understand it, when though things are happening, but, have you noticed how things usually have a way of working out? Sometimes even better than what we had, or what we lost.

And I know what I'm talking about. I am losing a business. Slowly, but surely. And it's not easy at all. It hurts. All the time you've put into it, the energy, hope, faith, desire, money, health (because it cost that as well), time away from other things. You put your entire you into it, and three years later, it all crumbles. 

I understand that this had to happen. That it was never mine, and it belonged more to the person I was in this with. I understand that it falling down is happening because something grater, and more amazing it's taking its place. That something way grater, beyond words, had to happen instead. But it doesn't mean that it is easy to let go. That it doesn't hurt. It hurts like hell. It still feel like a failure. And it will probably feel this way until this new amazing this develops and take its place.

I know that this was probably never mine. And if it were, I probably wouldn't have moved toward the thing that was meant for me all along. The thing that I have always desired. But, again, even if I am working on something new, which' prospect is amazing, it doesn't mean that letting go of what I have now isn't hard. I know it's not bringing me any money. That it was a struggle every day to make it work. But, as long as it was there, I had something. I had a job to work on. Even if I wasn't getting anything financially out of it. As long as that was there, I had that something to work for. I haven't closed it, the business. I still have it. I'm just dedicating less and less time every day. Using the free time that I have now, for me. To get the parts of me that I lost in all this time, to get my mental health back, cause that was also affected, when you work almost four years for something that doesn't bring you the financial aspect that you hoped for. And I am also using this new time to put it into my new path. Well, "new" path maybe it's a bit too much, cause it's not new, it's actually the path I always envisioned myself taking. It's the one that was always meant for me. And every time I think of it, I feel this feeling of calmness, and peace filling up my body and soul. 

How to let go? I don't know if I can tell you that. I think you have to find what works for you. What I do know for me, is that, what is to come, is far greater than anything I could and can ever imagine. It's out of this world surreal, but real. And I know that, that, was never mine. That business. But what is to come, that is mine, and always has been.

Photo credit: Gerhard G. from Pixabay

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