People tend to use reverse psychology thinking that this will motivate the other person to achieve their goals, to not give up, to keep pushing. But, the truth is, that it does NOT help in any way! It actually does more harm than good.
Humans have a negative talk with themselves internally every single day. You keep telling yourself how bad you are, how unworthy you are, how you're not enough, how you can't do it, how you're the only one who doesn't know how to do anything or who can't do anything, that you're the only one who can't cope with life and you feel like everyone else has it all figured it out and doing this "living" thing and it feels like you're on the outside looking in, and you can't be involved in the secrets they have to make it work.
When someone comes and tells you that you can't do something, trying to motivate you, to make you prove them wrong, you activate yourself. You get angry, you feel motivated to show them the opposite, you start fighting and you start doing the thing. Now, you might think that it worked, so why am I saying that it's not working? Because it's not!
It will work for a very short period of time and then you fail. Why? Because you already have the negative talking telling yourself that you can't do it, so when it becomes hard to keep on pushing, on top of hearing your own thoughts saying that you can't, you will take the other person's reverse psychology that they used on you to motivate you and you will use that as a confirmation that you really can't do it.
In your mind, it will no longer be the idea of "they said that to motivate me" it will be the idea of "they were actually telling me the truth disguised as reverse psychology".
People need encouragement to pull it through!! -- Please read that again! -- People need encouragement to pull it through!!
No question about it!
When you hit rock bottom and it's hard to carry on, hearing their words saying "you can do it, I have complete faith in you that even if it's hard, you will be able to pull through and you will find a way", it will make you keep on fighting. And when you feel like you can't fight anymore, you will call the one who supported you and empowered you to get a dose of power to keep on fighting. You won't call the one who said that you can't do it.
Another reason why reverse psychology doesn't work and you should not do it, especially on your children, is because it gets you so far. You might make it for a while, but if you have to keep on pushing, to get to where you want to be, encouragement words will get you way further than discouragement words will. You get tired and only good words keep you want to fight.
Plus, using it on your children will only create trauma in them. When it is hard and they can't keep on pushing and they fail or they give up, they will hear your words saying that they're not good enough, and they will grow up with that. Because bad words stick! And they will become the adults who don't start out things because they already know they will fail.
Think about when you were a child, when you had a teacher telling you that you CAN do something, you still remember that teacher, right? You still feel that motivation, years later! How do you feel towards the teacher who told you that you CAN'T? How do you think of them? What feeling do you have when you think of them? This is proof that good words of encouragement work a million times better than bad words used in reverse psychology.
Be mindful of how you talk to yourself and with others! Good words will always help you way more than bad words, and it will take you much further in your achievements. Choose the good speech! Always!
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