Although I am sure it might seem so when you are scratching your eyes out and fighting like there is no tomorrow, when you are heading for breakup and you have so much anger in you, turning into Ally McBeal's mind, seeing all the ways that you could hurt the other person.
Even if it is hard to believe, when you feel like you're living the WW3, your spouse is not the enemy. They are going through the same hurt, disappointment, shattered dreams and hopes like you do. Maybe they are not showing it, or you might think they're not, but if they cared for you at the beginning, they are suffering from losing you at the end, no doubt about it.
Every time you feel chocked by all the things you want to say and you can't, when you feel your heart aching for all the beautiful memories you've shared, when your mind plays tricks on you, and when you feel your stomach ache and a knot in your throat, they are feeling the same. It's as hard for them as it is for you. Just remember that before you start hating each other, before you start the yelling, the name-callings and everything else that come in those awful moments.
You've started this hoping you will have it forever. You were so happy, that all you could see was the two f you building a family together, raising your children and spoiling your grandchildren. Non of you thought they will be happy for a while and then mess it up and break up. Sometimes things just don't work out. It's not necessarily someone's fault. You just stop clicking. And even if it is, what does it matter now? You're both going through broken hearts and dreams.
I know it's hard, but try to talk calmly about it. The event is already as hard as can be, you don't need to turn it into something even more painful.
P.S.: This doesn't refer to abusive relationships of any kind.
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