I read a "story" at some point, in which a woman is asked if her husband makes her happy, and she says "No", but that her husband isn't there to make her feel happy, that that would be a too big responsibility for any person, to bring happiness in someone's life. - Great words. Really great words.
I remember one time, my husband came home, he hugged and kiss me, as we always did when one of us was coming or leaving, and I had a bad day. Nothing in particularly happened, I just wasn't feeling all that good inside for a while now. So I looked at him and said "I'm not happy", and then I hold him.
I was expecting him to do something about it. I was looking for work and couldn't find anything, I felt like everything I was starting was failing in one way or another, I couldn't find my place in the world, we were having problems ... I was just feeling like everything was wrong. And I was expecting him to do something about it. I was expecting him to understand that I wasn't happy, and at least for us to try to mend our relationship, because somewhere in my mind, if that worked, I would be happy.
He didn't say anything. No response, no gesture. And I remember I got even more upset, thinking "why isn't he doing anything? or saying anything? I'm telling him that I am not happy, I am being honest, and I'm trying to at least repair our problems, and he isn't doing anything". And I stayed upset for a long time, until I read that. The answer the woman gave. And that was when I realized that he wasn't responsible for my happiness. I was. I had to find happiness in me and through me, not ask it from someone else. I took him as a husband, not a buffoon. At the most, he was supposed to not be the cause of my unhappiness, but not be totally responsible for my happiness.
Yes we had problems, yes they were still there, but at least now I understood that regardless if those problems were solved or not, I might still feel the same, because it had to come from inside me, the healing, the peace and happiness I was expecting it from outside.
I'm still working on myself, take it one day at a time, but at least now I do it from a different point of view. Now I am not looking for happiness in someone else, in their words, or actions, but in me. In what I want to do. In what makes me happy, and what makes me smile.
As the woman said, it is a big responsibility to place your happiness on someone else's shoulders. Just as big and heavy as someone placing it on your shoulders. Imagine having to live your life being careful at every step you take and every word you say, in order to make someone's happiness. Seeing their disappointed look every time they were expecting something else to happen. That is surely not normal, and way to heavy for anyone to take on.
Every one is responsible for their own happiness. Not the person next to us, not the animal living with us, not the weather, not the boss, not the people we meet every day. We are responsible for our own happiness. And this is how it should be.
Photo credit: pixabay
If this helped you in any way, you can donate a little something to help
me keep going. No amount is too small, but it is deeply appreciated.
Thank you :)
Donations : PayPal
No comments:
Post a Comment