My life is a succession of ups and downs. I have periods of time when I enjoy life, I am happy, appreciative for everything I have and the people around me, I feel love, joy, willingness to live, to let myself embrace all the love I receive, and just allow myself to feel like I can be anyone and do anything.
But I also have dark periods, when I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders, like everything is falling on me squashing me under, I feel like there are so many bad things happening, one after another, and I just can't get a break. I loose my breath, I feel tiny getting bombarded from all around, and all I can think of is that there are so many, and I am only one.
When these dark periods happen, it takes a while to get out of it, especially when there are a lot of bad events happening one after another, like an endless loop. But, at some point, I have no idea how, I find myself having a different mood, a better mood. I surprise myself happy, optimistic and full of life, and that moment is incredible. In that moment I am afraid to remember how bad I was, because I fear not to fall back into it. So I enjoy what I have and all I can do is to hope and pray that I never go through that again, never feel like that again.
There are a lot of moment when I wish I could just be normal ... thinking that normal is living without ever feeling like this. I don't know what normal means. I only know what it means to me, because to someone else "normal" might have a different signification. And I don't know if other live their life the same, going through feeling really bad, and then feeling really good.
But, if you are going through the same things in your life, you should definitely know that YOU are NOT alone.
Photo credit: myself ... this photo can not be used without mentioning the source.
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