There is No Perfect Partner

There is no perfect partner. Everyone fantasizes of this perfect partner where they are just everything you could possibly imagine right in a relationship - by your standards. You put in them everything you've gathered up in all the romantic movies and expect that. 

Movies are great, and they are a really beautiful model for love, but people tend to not notice or remember the struggles that the characters are going through before getting to that moment when they realize that they love each other deeply. And, in movies, they accept each other as they are. They talk about the quirkiness that the other person has as if they are talking about some amazing quality in them. Because it is a quality. It is what they love in that person, and that quirkiness is never about something perfect, but about something imperfect that they do.

We pray to find someone so perfect, someone that will accept us as we are, with everything that we are and have. And, yet, we want them to be perfect. We think of ways they could be and think "I don't want that in them", "I don't want them to be this or that, like this or like that". But, why? We want them to accept us and love us as we are. 

I know it's not easy. It's not. We want someone perfect. But, maybe when we pray for someone to accept us and love us as we are, we should also pray for us to be able to accept them and love them as they are. For both of us to give each other the space and acceptance to not be perfect, to have problems, and to work on those problems, together or individually. To pray for someone who says "I know I'm like that, but I'm working on changing that" rather than someone who says "that's just how I am". 

I pray for someone who accepts me and loves me with all my quirkiness and imperfections, with all the faults and all the beautiful things I see and find in myself. And I pray for me to accept and love them with all their quirkiness and imperfections, with all the faults and beautiful things that they see and find in themselves. I pray that when we have a problem, we work through it, and that we love each other and do the right thing for one another even when we are mad at each other. Because if you are mad at me, but you still kill that spider because you know I fear it, I will love you so much, because I'll know that you are mad because of the situation, but you still love me. 

Don't strive for perfection. We are not perfect either. No one is. And we all want the same thing. We want someone to love us just as we are, and to allow us a safe space to be ourselves. Pray so that you both offer one other that love and acceptance and safe place.

 

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