Love is Not Linear

Love is not linear. And it's not supposed to be. Love has ups and down, good days and bad days. You fight now, you make up later. There's an actor talking about how his therapist told him that he shouldn't want his life to be the same all the time, even if that means only good moments. Because that is like having a flat line in an EKG. And that would mean that you're actually dead. But, the line in an EKG moves up and down, it's never flat. 

People always look for that constant in the relationship. They want everything to go so well and so wonderful, to never fight at all, have no disagreement about anything, and just be in a happy and blissful state all the time. But, tell me honestly, wouldn't that be the most boring thing you could ever experience in your life? What kind of love is that? What kind of life? If all you do is constantly be in a state where nothing ever goes anything other than good? 

The objective is not to never fight or to never have a disagreement. The objective is to learn how to deal with that when it happens. Don't be afraid to have bad days or problems, but just know that the problem is the problem, and not the other person. You are trying to find a solution to the problem, not to find someone to blame for it. 

It is ok to fight from time to time. It shouldn't be all the time, of course. In this case the relationship is obviously not working. But fighting from time to time, or disagreeing, you learn things about each other. You learn where the other persons' limit is and not to cross it. What is acceptable and what not. 

Love isn't just rainbows and sunshine all the time. It's all the wonderful, imperfect moments in between where you discover each other, and you learn how to treat each other. Love isn't perfect. And that's ok, because we're not perfect either, so love is not meant to be perfect. You don't want a flat line. You want ups and downs, and adventure. You want a chance to see that it is filled with beauty even if it's not perfect all the time.

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